Well, if everyone else is posting links...
twunter.co.uk/

...for a mildly surreal waste of 5 mins.

/shameless plug ;-)
(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 15:48, 52 replies, latest was 17 years ago)

It crashes ie6

(PsychoChomp, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 15:51, Reply)

Doesn't crash firefox.

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 15:52, Reply)

ohhhh la di dah,
look at you up in your open source ivory tower.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 16:00, Reply)

Don't make come down there
And bully you again.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 16:02, Reply)

This is the worst attempt at flirting that I've ever seen.

( Cawl, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 16:03, Reply)

you should read this
www.b3ta.com/questions/stupiddares/post97211
(PsychoChomp, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 16:05, Reply)

Hah!

( Cawl, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 16:09, Reply)

it's a classic I had to dig up,
what's happened to rswipe these days I haven't seen her for ages.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 16:16, Reply)

Dunno.
Moved on I guess.
( Cawl, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 16:17, Reply)

Is indeed a classic though.

( Cawl, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 16:18, Reply)

Ahaha!
Why doesn't be just hang a big sign on his sig saying "Desperate And Unattractive In Real Life"
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 16:12, Reply)

This was meant to be flirting?
Dear god.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 16:09, Reply)

Exactly.

( Cawl, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 16:10, Reply)

Chicks dig talking about open source,

(PsychoChomp, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 16:15, Reply)

Sorry Psycho,
But I just don't swing that way.
I like penis.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 16:16, Reply)

please read my sig,
then send me suggestive gazes.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 16:18, Reply)

Your sig of INTERNET LIES?

( Cawl, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 16:19, Reply)

I don't lie on the internet,

(PsychoChomp, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 16:20, Reply)

This is a lie.

( Cawl, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 16:22, Reply)

No it's not ask me anything,

(PsychoChomp, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 16:22, Reply)

I'm going now.
Gotta go to London, then Wales.
Try not to miss me too much.
( Cawl, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 16:24, Reply)

I will not miss you in the slightest
100% internet truth.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 16:25, Reply)

You can't help the lies can you?
Crying isn't an attractive use of your face.
Have a good weekend.
( Cawl, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 16:26, Reply)

I'll miss you Kaol!
:(


More lies.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 16:27, Reply)

I hope he's gone now so we can all call him a cunt.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 16:27, Reply)

Try it and see.
I dare you.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 16:29, Reply)

Kaol is a cunt
a big vampirey cunt with russian overtones
(Bazongaloid, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 16:33, Reply)

Kaol is a smug cunt,
I've met him once he was tall, but smug and cuntish.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 16:34, Reply)

Kaol is a smug cunt
wearing a deeply stupid hat.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 16:35, Reply)

Looks like you're all safe.

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 16:38, Reply)

there's no reason to fear Kaol,
he fills in a Risk assesment before getting in any fights, so you just have to hit him over the head while he's finding a pen.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 16:41, Reply)

Everything on the internet is a lie.
Including this.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 16:22, Reply)

damn your paradoxes.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 16:26, Reply)

Yeah...
I got bored trying to fix it for ie6...

(alternate answer) - haha, use a decent browser ;-)
(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 15:55, Reply)

it's shit,
but work seems to like it,
and the telephony system here doesn't like anything else.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 16:00, Reply)

How does that work then?

(Bazongaloid, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 16:02, Reply)

You want the long boring answer?
Yeah why not, can't be arsed to do any more actual work this week :-)

It scrapes board, talk, ot history pages and grabs the name, time and text from each post.

Then it feeds it into a db, recording the probability of one word following another, and also records owners, first words etc

The output bit writes sentences by picking a random owner, then a start word, then trying to follow it by picking random numbers and the corresponding word... so words commonly used together will often follow each other, but the sentence itself skews around in a nicely trippy way.

When you refresh home, it appends a random number of new twunts and displays what it's got.

Apart from the fluff for searches, voting etc, that's about it really :-)

Strangely, the people who post most end up sounding most brain dead, and the people who mainly lurk end up with their twunts being almost their original text.
(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 16:25, Reply)

If you look closely it doesn't work terribly well.
Though Dave Trouser's entry is hilarious
(Bazongaloid, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 16:36, Reply)

Yeah,
might be keeping a bit too much text, which makes it write gibberish and fewer funnies. There's a fine balance. I'll trim it out a bit.
(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 16:44, Reply)

hahahaha
www.twunter.co.uk/twunt/Cuffbert
( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 16:29, Reply)

I sound particularly retarded

(Bazongaloid, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 16:35, Reply)

I don't think I'm even on there.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 16:37, Reply)

You are
you have to search under "women" though.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 16:38, Reply)

How queer.
It only keeps 4 days worth and trims out very low volume posters, so if you've had your feet up watching "Sex in the City" with a glass of gin for a few days instead of doing Important Things on The Internet, you'll be missed out.
(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 16:42, Reply)

I post all the fucking time,
THIS IS DISCRIMINATION!
(PsychoChomp, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 16:42, Reply)

Well, you're not in the db
I don't know why. I'm sorry. Can I buy you a G&T and make it up to you?
(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 16:58, Reply)

that would be acceptable.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 17:03, Reply)

I don't think I actually wrote what is lists under my name
maybe I'm too retarded to figure it out
( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 16:43, Reply)

You wrote all those words
just not necessarily in that order :-)
(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 16:57, Reply)

I love this
Dave Trouser Sexface is quite fat quite fat quite fat quite quite fat quite quite fat quite quite quite fat quite quite fat quite fat quite quite fat quite fat quite fat quite quite fat quite fat quite fat quite fat quite fat quite fat quite fat quite fat quite fat quite fat quite quite fat quite fat quite fat quite fat quite fat quite fat quite quite fat quite fat quite quite quite quite fat quite quite fat quite fat quite fat quite fat quite fat quite fat quite quite fat quite fat quite fat quite fat quite quite fat quite fat quite fat quite fat quite fat quite fat quite quite fat quite quite quite quite fat quite fat quite fat quite fat quite quite fat quite quite fat quite quite fat quite fat quite fat quite quite fat quite quite quite fat quite fat quite quite fat quite fat quite quite quite fat quite fat quite quite fat quite quite fat quite fat quite quite quite quite quite quite fat quite fat quite fat quite fat quite fat quite fat quite fat quite quite quite quite fat quite quite quite fat quite fat quite quite fat quite fat quite quite fat quite fat quite fat quite quite fat quite quite fat quite fat quite fat quite fat quite fat quite fat quite fat quite fat quite fat quite fat quite fat quite fat quite fat quite fat quite fat quite fat quite fat quite quite fat quite fat quite fat quite fat quite fat quite fat quite fat quite quite fat quite quite fat quite quite quite fat quite fat quite fat quite fat quite fat quite fat quite fat quite quite quite fat quite fat quite quite fat quite fat quite fat quite quite quite fat quite fat quite fat quite quite fat quite fat quite fat quite quite fat quite fat quite fat quite fat quite fat quite fat quite fat quite quite fat quite quite quite fat quite fat quite fat quite fat quite fat quite quite quite fat quite fat quite quite quite fat quite fat quite fat quite fat quite quite fat quite fat quite fat quite fat quite fat quite quite fat quite quite fat quite fat quite quite fat quite fat quite fat quite fat quite fat quite fat quite fat quite fat quite fat quite quite quite fat quite fat quite fat quite quite fat quite fat quite quite quite quite fat quite fat quite fat quite fat quite fat quite fat quite quite fat quite fat quite fat quite fat quite quite fat quite quite quite fat quite fat quite quite fat quite fat quite fat quite fat quite quite fat quite fat quite fat quite fat quite fat quite quite fat quite quite quite quite quite fat quite quite quite quite fat quite fat quite quite quite quite fat quite fat quite quite fat quite fat quite quite quite fat quite fat quite fat quite quite quite fat quite.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 16:33, Reply)

I just looked at my own...
This is probably the best:
Oh kaol you get fined at all orifices.

Closely followed by:
Still makes you al is rarely terrifying except for the zombies always win.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 16:51, Reply)

I like this one of yours
"Fuck off pandatron a career in which on my short chubby slightly ginger and a generic tramp stamp when in a really well he wasn't very poor 17."
(PsychoChomp, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 16:53, Reply)