Tighter than a ducks butt

As big as a whale

Hotter than the surface of the sun

People love measurement based similies/metaphors, but I think that the "Hotter" one should be changed to "hotter than the steam let off by a microwave meal" as this just burnt a hole through my hand. I look like a sweaty chino wearing jesus.

What size based similies/metaphors would you introduce?
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 14 Jul 2009, 12:59, 12 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

smaller than captain v's shoe
I was going to say penis but i was feeling nice
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 14 Jul 2009, 13:03, Reply)

Penis shoe

lets be honest they're closely related.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 14 Jul 2009, 13:05, Reply)

A penis shoe
Is this something you wear over the top of a condom?
( Captain V, Tue 14 Jul 2009, 13:08, Reply)

a penis shoe
is what you wear over a fucksock.

You were so close to making a funny....
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 14 Jul 2009, 13:09, Reply)

It helps you kick someone in the cunt.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 14 Jul 2009, 13:18, Reply)

Hotter than your mum after a bottle of Lambrini
that is all
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 14 Jul 2009, 13:05, Reply)

Hung like an action man.

(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Tue 14 Jul 2009, 13:14, Reply)

Hmmmm
stickier than your mums fanny batter
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Tue 14 Jul 2009, 13:18, Reply)

Sweater than a banoffee cheesecake.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 14 Jul 2009, 13:23, Reply)

Not sure I fancy sweaty banoffee pie

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 14 Jul 2009, 13:24, Reply)

Smoother than an otter's pocket

(Land of Green Ginger It's dreamy weather, Tue 14 Jul 2009, 13:31, Reply)

Colder than a Witch's tit

(Is this a good idea? ... Yes this is definitely a good idea, Tue 14 Jul 2009, 14:20, Reply)