That's my future wife you're talking abut there.
Well, after Flim chucks me for al, that is. And after my brief dalliance with Charlize Theron.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Wed 22 Jul 2009, 23:10, 1 reply, 16 years ago)

Pfft, she's had half of Hollywood already, so why not?
The Theron I would except for in Monster. All feeling died after watching that.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Wed 22 Jul 2009, 23:12, Reply)

I've never seen Monster.
It's a film that I'd like to see though.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Wed 22 Jul 2009, 23:14, Reply)

If you like the Theron then I urge you not to
You wont wank for a week without seeing her wrong face.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Wed 22 Jul 2009, 23:21, Reply)

I'm glad DiT has accepted that his Mrs will run off with me
the moment she actually gets to experience my gruff northern charm in teh flesh.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 22 Jul 2009, 23:14, Reply)

She's only human, buddy.
It's all I can do to not fall for you myself.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Wed 22 Jul 2009, 23:15, Reply)

That would break Bert's shrivelled little heart if that happened

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Wed 22 Jul 2009, 23:16, Reply)

Hey!
He left me, I don't care about him any more.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 22 Jul 2009, 23:17, Reply)

Yeah, girlfriend, you kick that bitch to the kerb!

( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Wed 22 Jul 2009, 23:19, Reply)

He left all of us.
May he burn like the little leaving us cunt that he is.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Wed 22 Jul 2009, 23:20, Reply)

It's understandable
but I have to warn you, once me and Kaol are facebook friends we're gonna be all over each other like cheap suits. So you'll have to wait for a while.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 22 Jul 2009, 23:17, Reply)

Oh christ, I'm FB friends with all of you
I would be like the MEAT in your puppet sandwich
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Wed 22 Jul 2009, 23:18, Reply)

You'd start off as meat
but you'd end up as paté
(Bazongaloid, Wed 22 Jul 2009, 23:20, Reply)

Mmm...pate

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Wed 22 Jul 2009, 23:21, Reply)

Who's had half of Hollywood?
Flim? Blimey.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Wed 22 Jul 2009, 23:14, Reply)

Hey, don't feel bad
she had all that, and she chose you in the end. So that's good right?
(Bazongaloid, Wed 22 Jul 2009, 23:16, Reply)

Yeah buddy, don't feel bad about being the consolation prize
we've all been there.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Wed 22 Jul 2009, 23:17, Reply)

What, with DiT's mrs?
Yeah, we've all been there.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 22 Jul 2009, 23:18, Reply)

And would again
so would. She's a total hottie.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Wed 22 Jul 2009, 23:18, Reply)

She so is.
She's outta my league, that's for sure.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Wed 22 Jul 2009, 23:20, Reply)

We all think this
I especially like her bee outfit.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 22 Jul 2009, 23:21, Reply)

PERVERT! PERVERT!
ONLINE!
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Wed 22 Jul 2009, 23:22, Reply)

I wouldn't go that far
til she screams AL on the wedding day and they drive off together in a Saxo
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Wed 22 Jul 2009, 23:22, Reply)

I've cleaned the back seat and everything

(Bazongaloid, Wed 22 Jul 2009, 23:25, Reply)

Good to go
Now get wooing and don't tell the missus.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Wed 22 Jul 2009, 23:25, Reply)

:(
And all that effort of writing the speech for nothing.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Wed 22 Jul 2009, 23:26, Reply)

sadfaces

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Wed 22 Jul 2009, 23:26, Reply)

It's OK
She says she's not going to leave me.

Unless it's a cunning rouse.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Wed 22 Jul 2009, 23:28, Reply)

Tell her I'm impressed that she managed to fool you that easily
without even having to flash her boobs at you.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 22 Jul 2009, 23:29, Reply)

O GOD!
She flashed her boobs at me! I'm doomed!
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Wed 22 Jul 2009, 23:33, Reply)

Can you try and remember the speech
and post the best bits online afterwards so we can all have little internet cries.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 22 Jul 2009, 23:29, Reply)

I could do that.
UPDATE: Flim says that she actually would leave me for you, but you would have to be driving a Bugatti Veron.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Wed 22 Jul 2009, 23:30, Reply)

I wonder what she'd leave you for me for
ponders tasty food from M&S as cunning ruse
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Wed 22 Jul 2009, 23:32, Reply)

She says that Flake Ice Cream would do it.

( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Wed 22 Jul 2009, 23:34, Reply)

sweeeeeeeeeet
hot foots it to Iceland and gets cab to Flimland
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Wed 22 Jul 2009, 23:35, Reply)

*resigns self to a lonley life in Leytonstone*
Night all!
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Wed 22 Jul 2009, 23:36, Reply)

Best place for your sort ,)
Night cunts, mwah
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Wed 22 Jul 2009, 23:37, Reply)