A while back, my mate showed me a post on Gumtree
It was an out of work plumber who was looking for work, but for smaller jobs would happily take a good handjob as payment. WTF?? thought I. But then it got me thinking.

Let's say someone, Bob for example needs a new tap fitting. I could turn up at his house with an 'escort' lady in tow, I hide out of sight keeping Bob distracted and the escort pretends to be the occupier. Handjob plumber guy turns up, fits the tap, an the pro gives him a handjob. Plumber leaves happy, I charge Bob the going rate for fitting a tap, pay off the 'escort' lady and pocket the change.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Thu 23 Jul 2009, 15:04, 11 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

For all the effort you've put in to thinking about this
why don't you just get a proper job?
( Bazongaloid, Thu 23 Jul 2009, 15:10, Reply)

My friend's got a girlfriend and he hates that bitch, he tells me every day.
/ac
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 23 Jul 2009, 15:11, Reply)

I heard she's got issues too

( Bazongaloid, Thu 23 Jul 2009, 15:18, Reply)

Spare me the details, if you don't mind.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 23 Jul 2009, 15:19, Reply)

That's pretty fly
for a white guy
( Bazongaloid, Thu 23 Jul 2009, 15:20, Reply)

Nice work you did, you're gonna go far kid.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 23 Jul 2009, 15:40, Reply)

You stupid, dumb shit, goddamn, mother fucker.

( Bazongaloid, Thu 23 Jul 2009, 15:48, Reply)

*Can't remember where that one is from*
When you're in prison, don't turn the other cheek, keep your back against the wall.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 23 Jul 2009, 15:52, Reply)

I one had a thought that I didn't feel the need to tell the internet about.
I also have some 'candy sticks', those little white candy things.

So, all in all, I win on two accounts.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 23 Jul 2009, 15:11, Reply)

I'm going to the park on Saturday
just to see you pretend smoke.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Thu 23 Jul 2009, 15:46, Reply)

You say that
but you're searching Gumtree as I type.

Also, do they still dip the candy sticks in red food colouring so they look like lit cigs?

and do they still make the brown candy sticks too?
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Thu 23 Jul 2009, 16:20, Reply)