Fucking FUCK FUCK FUCK, fucking ASDA, fuck RIGHT off you fucking cunts.
I'm going to come back when you're closed and piss and shit everywhere, then I'm going to fucking [edited for legal reasons].

I was behind some skanky fucking bitch who filled her trolly with "6 for £1 girls knickers". After 10 minuites of the till-troll trying to match them up (because the skanky cheap bitch just dumped entire rails into her trolly... probably the 'returns' rail, because half the stuff needed to be typed in manualy), her friend comes and pushes in with ANOTHER FUCKING TROLLY. When I called her up on that, she said "My friend, she was holding my place for me". I said 'Sorry, you can't do that', and the manager let her push in.

I just dumped my stuff where I was standing, whispered under my breath 'fuck this shit', and walked out.

Why didn't I just use another till? Because half of them were down and I had already waited 15 minuites.

Seriously, someone do humanity a favour and put rat poision in their ready meals.

TWO MORE SLEEPS TILL TESCO !!!!1111
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 3 Aug 2009, 20:09, 89 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

*gives Gonz a huge sloppy kiss*

( thealternativefact, Mon 3 Aug 2009, 20:10, Reply)

=DDDD
I got well pissed off at ASDA, I really wanted some Elderflower Kroppenbourge too =((((
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 3 Aug 2009, 20:14, Reply)

Go in there and yell:
HEY! ASDA! I AIN'T GONNA BE YOUR BITCH!

I hate ASDA with unbridled passion.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Mon 3 Aug 2009, 20:15, Reply)

I work next door to one. It sucks anus
I swear the living dead inhabit it, pushing trolleys round, eyes glazed over...
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 3 Aug 2009, 20:32, Reply)

I'm going to ram an ASDA up ASDA's ASDA.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 3 Aug 2009, 20:37, Reply)

haha post edit?
cripes, Gonz
is everyone's monday been kind of crap?

edit: christ, "is" ?! I meant HAS *sigh*
( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 3 Aug 2009, 20:17, Reply)

Haaaaaaahahahaha
Kristine's brain has fallen out.
( thealternativefact, Mon 3 Aug 2009, 20:34, Reply)

^this
Nope, mine was rather splendid. I did lots of stuff this morning that I'd been putting off since no useful shops are open when I leave for work usually, had lunch with the lovely Clendrix and then came back to watch more True blood.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 3 Aug 2009, 20:35, Reply)

Lunch was delightful
including the company, the sunshine, the MASSIVE salad and the obligatory crazy Irish woman.
( thealternativefact, Mon 3 Aug 2009, 20:37, Reply)

I wonder if the nutty Irish woman twigged that I was just taking the piss?
And that there are no five pretties. Oh well, seemed to entertain her anyway.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 3 Aug 2009, 20:38, Reply)

I think she was just happy to find someone to talk to.
Better than Boob Man. I swear, those things were at least an E.
I was afeared.
( thealternativefact, Mon 3 Aug 2009, 20:40, Reply)

IT FUCKING TOUCHED ME. Well my arm and I was too afraid of its voice to turn around properly
made me twitch.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 3 Aug 2009, 20:40, Reply)

When it touched you, its nipples went hard.

( thealternativefact, Mon 3 Aug 2009, 20:48, Reply)

Oh christ that was unnecessary
I was eating just then. Sadfaces
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 3 Aug 2009, 20:49, Reply)

I laughed when I typed that.
sadfaces
( thealternativefact, Mon 3 Aug 2009, 20:50, Reply)

:((((((((((((((((((

( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 3 Aug 2009, 20:43, Reply)

Hello Kristine.
Planned your trip yet?
( thealternativefact, Mon 3 Aug 2009, 20:48, Reply)

nope, off to the beach next month, will probably begin to plan after that
was thinking about going around my birthday next year but the price for hotel and flight doubled
stupid fucking valentines day trips
( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 3 Aug 2009, 21:02, Reply)

were you born in feb too?

( willenium Fist bump for verification, Mon 3 Aug 2009, 21:08, Reply)

yerp, feb 18th
same day as my best friend so maybe it is better to hold off till after then?
I JUST DON'T KNOW
( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 3 Aug 2009, 21:12, Reply)

That was my ex wife's birthday
You're not my ex wife are you?
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 3 Aug 2009, 21:15, Reply)

that depends, did I marry you when I was passed out sometime?
if so, then yes
I wouldn't be surprised.
I am engaged to two men currently.
( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 3 Aug 2009, 21:17, Reply)

details

( willenium Fist bump for verification, Mon 3 Aug 2009, 21:19, Reply)

they were both jokes
here is one b3ta.com/talk/5685248
and the other is a man I used to see all of the time at the bar, 50 years old, and when I drink I get a little...annoying inquisitive so after a while of small talk (why aren't you married, etc) I asked him to marry me.
( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 3 Aug 2009, 21:23, Reply)

ah I had a suspicion that teh booze was the root of your multiple engaements

( willenium Fist bump for verification, Mon 3 Aug 2009, 21:31, Reply)

yep
maybe I'll get married when I'm at the beach
wouldn't that be fun?
( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 3 Aug 2009, 21:34, Reply)

Woo yayy
beach party
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Mon 3 Aug 2009, 21:37, Reply)

you're totally invited, just don't try to look prettier than me (which isn't that hard, honestly)

( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 3 Aug 2009, 21:43, Reply)

I'm there.
name your beach and cheapest wedding gift
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Mon 3 Aug 2009, 21:45, Reply)

Virginia Beach
miller high life
I'll only drink it after I'm drunk though, if you show up with natty light you're going to be thrown out
( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 3 Aug 2009, 21:49, Reply)

Screw that your getting married.
I can stretch to Smirnoff
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Mon 3 Aug 2009, 21:51, Reply)

I don't drink liquor, so you can buy it and drink it yourself
HURRAH
( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 3 Aug 2009, 21:51, Reply)

Ok miller it is.
and fags. lovely lovely fags. mmmmm
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Mon 3 Aug 2009, 21:54, Reply)

yay fags!
home time!
have a good night!!
( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 3 Aug 2009, 21:59, Reply)

My birthday's at a fucking stupid time too.
Oh well. You'll get here at some point.
( thealternativefact, Mon 3 Aug 2009, 21:12, Reply)

Make it November this year and you can come to my bash :)
Or next year as I'll more than likely be having on then too
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 3 Aug 2009, 21:14, Reply)

it's a little soon for this november, maybe next year
after all the surgery I'll look fantastic and you'll all really love me
( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 3 Aug 2009, 21:25, Reply)

I already do :)

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 3 Aug 2009, 22:03, Reply)

I spent 8 hours making polymers

( willenium Fist bump for verification, Mon 3 Aug 2009, 20:59, Reply)

how'd that go for you?

( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 3 Aug 2009, 21:07, Reply)

I wont know Till I spend 16 hours anlysing NMR spectra

( willenium Fist bump for verification, Mon 3 Aug 2009, 21:08, Reply)

Awesome
I have no idea what that means
but I hope it goes well
( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 3 Aug 2009, 21:16, Reply)

here
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/NMR_spectroscopy
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Mon 3 Aug 2009, 21:18, Reply)

you work with that thing?

( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 3 Aug 2009, 21:19, Reply)

one like it
www.bruker-biospin.com/850usp.html
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Mon 3 Aug 2009, 21:21, Reply)

wooooooooooooooooooow

( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 3 Aug 2009, 21:23, Reply)

it can erase your credit card from the next room. FACT.

( willenium Fist bump for verification, Mon 3 Aug 2009, 21:27, Reply)

do you have to wear a special suit?

( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 3 Aug 2009, 21:34, Reply)

no, you just empty your pockets before you get within a certain distance of it

( willenium Fist bump for verification, Mon 3 Aug 2009, 21:35, Reply)

that doesn't sound good at all
start wearing tin foil suits to work or something
( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 3 Aug 2009, 21:36, Reply)

its only a powerfull electromagnetic feild. I also work with these,
msds.chem.ox.ac.uk/DI/dichloromethane.html
physchem.ox.ac.uk/msds/CA/carbon_disulfide.html
msds.chem.ox.ac.uk/AZ/2,2%27-azobis(2-methylpropionitrile).html
msds.chem.ox.ac.uk/HY/hydrochloric_acid.html
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Mon 3 Aug 2009, 21:43, Reply)

cripes

( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 3 Aug 2009, 21:52, Reply)

The link at the top (DCM)
is what they used to put in the 'drinking bird' kids toy
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Mon 3 Aug 2009, 21:55, Reply)

Sweetie, why do you think Tesco will be so much better?
You'll have the same people shopping in there, same tills broken all the time, food isn't that much better. I reckon you need to get a campaign started to install a Waitrose and an M&S in Sarfgate
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 3 Aug 2009, 20:31, Reply)

I had to go into Tesco earlier.
I felt cheap and dirty...and not in a good way.
( thealternativefact, Mon 3 Aug 2009, 20:34, Reply)

It's just not a good feeling is it?
Both supermarkets are on an even keel for me. I dislike them both, but use them if there's nothing else available.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 3 Aug 2009, 20:36, Reply)

Yep, same here.
I use Waitrose and M&S as much as possible and Sainsbury's on a Monday night when I'm drunk and I go in there and argue loudly with Wookiee across the width of the store :)
( thealternativefact, Mon 3 Aug 2009, 20:38, Reply)

I do M&S when I feel like I need a treat, but I worked there as a wine buyer, so know to steer clear of the alcohol
Mostly I do Sainsburys or Budgens as they're closest. Budgens is very shit though. I wish I had an Aldi or Lidl closer as their produce is great and they have tasty meats really cheap.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 3 Aug 2009, 20:40, Reply)

Yeh, M&S booze is shit.
But imported beer in Aldi is good because the water regulations are better.
( thealternativefact, Mon 3 Aug 2009, 20:41, Reply)

Eh? What's water regulations go to do with it?

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 3 Aug 2009, 20:42, Reply)

If the water's better (purer) the beer's better.

( thealternativefact, Mon 3 Aug 2009, 20:46, Reply)

Ahh I see. I only ever learnt about wine, nothing about beer.
Probably why I like my shitty forrin BEEEEEEEEEEEER so much :)
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 3 Aug 2009, 20:50, Reply)

Oh blimey,
I know close to fuck all about anything.
My friend Frank told me. He's from the north-east, but despite this he can be trusted.
( thealternativefact, Mon 3 Aug 2009, 20:51, Reply)

I wouldn't say that
But I also wouldn't trust a Northerner. Wronguns the lot of em ,)
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 3 Aug 2009, 20:57, Reply)

are you a londoner?

( willenium Fist bump for verification, Mon 3 Aug 2009, 21:13, Reply)

Absolutely.
Are you a Northerner?
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 3 Aug 2009, 21:15, Reply)

OI!

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 3 Aug 2009, 21:15, Reply)

What? I didn't call you a Northern monkey
Just a wrongun
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 3 Aug 2009, 21:16, Reply)

And that's OK is it?
I don't call you a southern shandy drinking poof! Meh!
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 4 Aug 2009, 1:04, Reply)

southerner living in leeds

( willenium Fist bump for verification, Mon 3 Aug 2009, 21:17, Reply)

Doesn't count unless you've taken on their mannerisms
of which there are many
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 3 Aug 2009, 21:20, Reply)

I havent lost my accent
but I do say 'owt' and 'nowt' and eat more pies than usuall
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Mon 3 Aug 2009, 21:23, Reply)

I like Leeds.
Best of all the northern cities.
( thealternativefact, Mon 3 Aug 2009, 21:21, Reply)

I lived in Hull for years.
Leeds seems better
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Mon 3 Aug 2009, 21:30, Reply)

Because it's a 'metro' one, so you can't do your weekly shop there, so you don't get idiots
They probably won't even have trollys !

We've got a Markies, but I had to visit the phamacy, so went to hell instead.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 3 Aug 2009, 20:35, Reply)

Dear god, you're excited about getting a metro?
Prices are higher than regular Tesco, they have FUCK ALL that you actually want and they never have right brand of cigarettes. Granted I don't smoke anymore, but that used to fuck me right off.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 3 Aug 2009, 20:37, Reply)

You massive ruiner of dreams !
I'ld still buy fags and red-bull like drink from my local indipendant, because they sort me out if I'm short of cash (plus the girl who works there sometimes is really pretty and quite likes me).

It means I don't have to go to a massive superstore if I want a quick snack.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 3 Aug 2009, 20:50, Reply)

How's the kitchen?

( thealternativefact, Mon 3 Aug 2009, 20:52, Reply)

Nice and clean, Russ sorted it ealier
=)
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 3 Aug 2009, 21:05, Reply)

Blimey!
He's good at that.
( thealternativefact, Mon 3 Aug 2009, 21:10, Reply)

I am the destroyer of dreams
Have you asked her out properly yet?
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 3 Aug 2009, 20:58, Reply)

Kindda
Last thing was her telling me about how she's going home to hungry for a little while, and I said "When you get, we'll go for that thai", and she smiled and said "I'ld like that very much".
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 3 Aug 2009, 21:06, Reply)

Ask her out on a proper date, with a time and everything
Do it, do it Gonz :)
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 3 Aug 2009, 21:07, Reply)

=D, will do, she should be back next week or soo.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 3 Aug 2009, 21:08, Reply)

Oh Gonzerella!
B and I are so going to be on your case about this.
( thealternativefact, Mon 3 Aug 2009, 21:10, Reply)

Haha, you knows it

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 3 Aug 2009, 21:15, Reply)

I like local shops
they are more likely to sell luckies
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Mon 3 Aug 2009, 21:00, Reply)

Better still
release rats in their store and get them gone all the quicker!
( Maladicta, Mon 3 Aug 2009, 21:57, Reply)

Go go gadget plague !

( willenium Fist bump for verification, Mon 3 Aug 2009, 22:05, Reply)