M Night Shalymanamanamanam
Stop making shit films with shit endings and shit CGI

Also, and I think this goes without saying really, but I'm going to say it anyway - Paul David Hewson. I hate you Paul. I hate you more than everything in the world ever.
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 6 Aug 2009, 11:49, 2 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

This.
A hundred thousand times this. I saw 'the village', I think it was called, and actually threw cushions at the tv in rage at the appalling ending.
(berk, Thu 6 Aug 2009, 11:51, Reply)

Agreed
'Bono' is a cock.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 6 Aug 2009, 11:52, Reply)

hmm, maybe my t shirt should read
"Fuck you, Paul David Hewson"

strictly speaking though, the reasons to hate him are too innumerable to count, so it doesn't answer my original question.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 6 Aug 2009, 11:54, Reply)

As Berk said, the Village is a disgrace
But the one that really hurt me was "The Happening". Quite possibly the worst film I've ever seen with such a STUPID premise.

It was like "Right, I let's do a film with another twist."

"Well I can't think of a well-thought out, clever yet plausible storyline that's going to fool the audience so let's just make up soemthing completely and utterly inexplicable and pretend that it's a TWIST!"....

GAH!
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Thu 6 Aug 2009, 11:54, Reply)

Well that's like the end of signs
if you haven't seen it I'm ruining the ending for you THE ALIENS CAN'T STAND WATER!

It's a good job they didn't land on a planet predominately made of water and has water in the atmosphere and you know maybe has water falling from the sky occassionally.
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 6 Aug 2009, 11:57, Reply)

It's the equivalant of a murder "whodunnit"
And leading the audience to believe that the killer is X Character.

Only to "twist" us at the end by saying:

But AHHA it was actually a sexually repressed mutant capybara from outer space all along!! Stupid audience thinking it was Mark Wahlberg. Fools!
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Thu 6 Aug 2009, 12:01, Reply)

I like the idea of writing a M Night Shalylamamamammama film
A couple move into a house which seems fine at first the neighbours are all lovely and everything is going well until suddenly for no reason a plague of GIANT FLEAS infest the town biting everyone and giving them terrible fevers, rashes and that pasty deathy look people in films get. Probably all sweaty too.

The twist is they all recover and live happily ever after
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 6 Aug 2009, 12:05, Reply)

I'd watch that if it was well done

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 6 Aug 2009, 12:05, Reply)

The Happening
was that the one with the bees? And then everyone dies? The trailer looked alright but when I realised it was M Night Shyamalashite I threatened death to the other half who wanted to see it. I heard that it was quite bewilderingly shit.
(berk, Thu 6 Aug 2009, 12:00, Reply)

My memory is off
But there were a lot of shots where the protagonists were considering where the killer threat was coming from, and they would eye the forests/bushes and the audio would be as you say like a bee buzzing sound.

However, it was something SPOILER SPOILER along the lines of a chemical released by trees that turns humans into suicidal murderous psychos SPOILER OVER SPOILER...
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Thu 6 Aug 2009, 12:03, Reply)

Oh, you're joking
the TREES did it? That's just...why would that even occur to anybody as a feasible plotline? I was right in my assessment of bewilderingly shit then..
(berk, Thu 6 Aug 2009, 12:11, Reply)

It's even worse than that
The shock ending is that suddenly it just stops. I was really looking forward to seeing how humanity would adapt to not being able to have more than two people in close proximity but instead it just all goes back to normal. It was a complete kick in the teeth.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 6 Aug 2009, 12:26, Reply)