I almost punched a large man in lycra yesterday
short version of long story -

went mountain biking with the kids (school hols and all that), met up with friends of the Significant Other who are all hardcore MTBers with mad sKilZ, innit.
Kids and MTBers raced off into the forest and I became separated from them - SO stayed with me - he's good like that. I was extremely worried and had visions of the kids being left behind in the woods and having to get some sort of mountain rescue out to find them. When we finally found them...they found us actually - we'd taken a short cut unknowingly and were ahead of them...I was ready to kill someone and only my back tyre exploding prevented me from punching the ringleader.

So what has made you ready to hit someone recently?
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Mon 24 Aug 2009, 15:48, 21 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

someone on the internet
was wanking on about how much she was drinking whilst pregnant, and how any guidelines from the government are just there to control pregnant women etc etc, so why shouldn't she have 10+ units of alcohol a week? I wanted to wallop her, and all the others who came along self justifying their indulgences.

I also wanted to hit a guy in sainsburies because they had run out of my favourite drink, so I haven't got any until they get it back in stock.

That said, I want to hit just about anyone who gets in my way at the moment, due to an excess of hormones and nowhere near enough sleep, so I'm maybe not the best person to answer this...
( ascorbate, Mon 24 Aug 2009, 16:10, Reply)

Blimey, talk about an over reaction !
It's not their fault you couldn't keep up and over reacted.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 24 Aug 2009, 16:10, Reply)

nah
I'm with chickenlady on this one...
( ascorbate, Mon 24 Aug 2009, 16:12, Reply)

So am I....
...I was there.

The guy responsible for hijacking the day has been a friend for nearly two decades, but was on his third strike due to a recent run of being a complete bell-end.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Mon 24 Aug 2009, 16:42, Reply)

You give your friends 'strikes' ?

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 24 Aug 2009, 16:45, Reply)

You don't?
You need to keep them living in fear.

In fact Gonz consider this your first strike
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 24 Aug 2009, 16:49, Reply)

I suspect that is a figure of speech
I am prepared to be wrong though...
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 24 Aug 2009, 16:50, Reply)

When they're a load of strangers and they've got your kids with them
you'll be ready to punch anyone.

It's also rather rude to leave people behind.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Mon 24 Aug 2009, 16:29, Reply)

If only there was some kind of comunication device that allowed two people to talk to eachother without some kind of wires.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 24 Aug 2009, 16:46, Reply)

Thetford Forest = Bad Network Coverage
:-(
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Mon 24 Aug 2009, 16:50, Reply)

I agree with you
I think anyone with kids would feel pretty much the same way. Perhaps if he had talked it over with you before taking off so you knew where they would be etc, it would have been ok, but to just take off was a pretty stupid move.
(MichaelS wasn't picked again, Mon 24 Aug 2009, 17:17, Reply)

The "friend" in question
hijacked the day I'd been trying to organise for months. He knew my family was going to be there.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Mon 24 Aug 2009, 20:57, Reply)

arabs

( spimf ™ is whoever you want him to be, Mon 24 Aug 2009, 16:14, Reply)

Came to work
and had to deal with my GOD-AWFUL SPASTIC OF A BOSS who had the temerity to title an email 'lousy office practices' and pulling me up for failing to include important information in an email.....THAT I HADN'T SENT.

Yes, my work was called 'lousy' because of AN AUTOMATED EMAIL FROM OUR WEBSITE THAT I HAD ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO DO WITH.

When I asked him to direct me to the email of mine he had a problem with the FUCKING SCOPER simply changed the subject.

....and this is whilst he is supposedly ON HOLIDAY. The BIG-NOSED CUNT is sat on the beach firing off critical emails that don't make any sense and hasn't the testes to admit it and apologise.


STAB STAB STAB STAB


I'd also like to point out that I am a senior manager and this HELMET seems to consider it appropriate to treat me like an OFFICE JUNIOR when I manage a couple of million quid's worth of business for the UNGRATEFUL FLID every year.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 24 Aug 2009, 16:23, Reply)

"HELMET"
made me snigger, thanks.
(bazmorningstar efil4nat3b, Mon 24 Aug 2009, 16:30, Reply)

My pleasure, Aidser
Great sig btw


EDIT in a moment of panic I suddenly didn't trust my memory that that you were Aidser and thought 'shit, I've just been really offensive to someone who won't know what the fuck I'm on about. Luckily having checked, it IS you.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 24 Aug 2009, 16:36, Reply)

"UNGRATEFUL FLID"
Made me snigger...
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Mon 24 Aug 2009, 16:57, Reply)

The remark
"How old is this spare inner-tube? It looks all wrinkled like an old ball-bag" may well have saved him from a chickenlady delivered black eye.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Mon 24 Aug 2009, 16:39, Reply)

The cunt that walked in to the pavillion I got married in
and said "oh, there's a wedding in here, is there?" and then trod grass and mud through it. I had to leave. Thankfully, there were three lovely people there who gave him what for.

His response?

"Well, I've paid to look around, you know."

Yeah, and there were signs up saying not to go in that room as there was a wedding on, cunt. Still, that's what you get for getting hitched at an English Heritage site.

Oh, and hi all! :)
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Mon 24 Aug 2009, 16:46, Reply)

Hi DiT
Just been checking out the pics!
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Mon 24 Aug 2009, 16:51, Reply)

The hospital nurse that slmost killed my
83 yr old mother. She just had neck surgery and is not able to move her righrt side or head at all. The nurse at 2 in the morning without fully waking my mother or sitting her up, threw 5 pills into her mouth and some water causing her to aspirate water and some of the pills into her lungs. She in now being treated for pneumonia and having liquid from her lungs suctioned out (by sticking a tube threw her nose into her lungs) every few hours. She was depressed enough about not being able to move but now she is even afraid to swallow.

Oh yeah, this is the american health care system that the right wing keeps saying is so great.
(MichaelS wasn't picked again, Mon 24 Aug 2009, 17:23, Reply)