I'm guessing
there's spankings for the naughty fraulein.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 24 Aug 2009, 21:16, 4 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

That's not guessing
That's drooling lasciviously. You naughty man.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Mon 24 Aug 2009, 21:18, Reply)

I almost typed
spakkings...
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 24 Aug 2009, 21:18, Reply)

I almost read that as
spaklings
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Mon 24 Aug 2009, 22:00, Reply)

A fair guess, I'd say
but then she is German.
( Maladicta, Mon 24 Aug 2009, 21:19, Reply)

I'm of german decent
:D
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 24 Aug 2009, 21:34, Reply)

I'm of French descent.
I'm not sure I have any room to talk...
( Maladicta, Mon 24 Aug 2009, 21:40, Reply)

It means we could both play upon some hideous sexual stereotypes

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 24 Aug 2009, 21:48, Reply)

I do actually own a maid's outfit.

( Maladicta, Mon 24 Aug 2009, 21:49, Reply)

Mine are more noir than maidish
There are a few frills and bows like...
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 24 Aug 2009, 21:54, Reply)

I've had mine for some time
so it's not as slutty as the name would imply.
( Maladicta, Mon 24 Aug 2009, 21:55, Reply)

Hmm...ladies
I feel a film coming on...
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Mon 24 Aug 2009, 22:02, Reply)

My starting fee is over 9000 pounds
and a basket of 10 blue tortoiseshell kittens.
( Maladicta, Mon 24 Aug 2009, 22:05, Reply)

£9k
Is the training budget that I was trying to balance for work when I got bored and came on here.

I have one tortie kitten that you could borrow.

I have a meeting with the directors on Wednesday morning. Can I explain to them that I've spent the hole in the training budget on a grunty-flick?
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Mon 24 Aug 2009, 22:21, Reply)

But just think of the morale-boost you could give the company if that film did come to fruition.

( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Mon 24 Aug 2009, 22:26, Reply)

Less royalties, parts and labour, constant supply of cake,
biscuits, on-tap internets, own trailer with jacuzzi...
( Maladicta, Mon 24 Aug 2009, 22:28, Reply)

Oh for fuck's sake
It's a porn film.

Lie back, enjoy it and be grateful for the £150 I might give you.

Alternatively send me your maids outfit and I'll find a crack-addled whore to take your place.

Is it wipe-clean or will I have to pay for the laundry as well?
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Mon 24 Aug 2009, 22:36, Reply)

I have ideas above my station. Very much so.
Dry-clean only, and I'm not even sure where the damned thing is!
( Maladicta, Mon 24 Aug 2009, 22:44, Reply)

We do sell
Some rather fetching undergarments and a couple of years ago we made a brief, and spectacularly unsuccessful foray into the "adult goods" market.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Mon 24 Aug 2009, 22:29, Reply)

Show me the knickers!

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 24 Aug 2009, 22:41, Reply)

^ This

( Maladicta, Mon 24 Aug 2009, 22:44, Reply)

They're in here somewhere
www.bonprixsecure.com/uk/Lingerie-2-shop.htm?id=1326600765068874146-0-4a9309c2&directLandmark=topleiste&directLandmarkP=%26name%3DBigSort%3D2

Or, you'll find the same at:-

www.oli.co.uk/web/main/home.asp?N=4294965277&cm_mmc=CJ-_-CJ-_-AW08-_-Oli&ordermedia=EW092&name=10PERCENT&entry=3&AID=10573714&PID=2459930

The same stuff in a different bag.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Mon 24 Aug 2009, 22:45, Reply)

Want want want.

( Maladicta, Mon 24 Aug 2009, 22:57, Reply)

^ yeah, what she said

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 24 Aug 2009, 23:05, Reply)

If I've got my French and German stereotypes right
we could be in for a winner here!
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Mon 24 Aug 2009, 22:12, Reply)

Need MOAR costumes!

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 24 Aug 2009, 22:05, Reply)

There's quite a few, I must say.

( Maladicta, Mon 24 Aug 2009, 22:11, Reply)

Not just that
but you'd have to imagine what she did to get out of line in the first place.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Mon 24 Aug 2009, 21:29, Reply)

And here
my imagination fails me.
( Maladicta, Mon 24 Aug 2009, 21:34, Reply)

Perhaps she was trying to spank the person who ended up spanking her.

( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Mon 24 Aug 2009, 22:02, Reply)

That to me implies that the film was recorded on the move
and midway they crossed the border into Soviet Russia.
( Maladicta, Mon 24 Aug 2009, 22:04, Reply)

.
Step 1: Steal underwear
Step 2: Get chased by owner who spanks you whilst chasing you and cross border into Soviet Russia
Step 3: Sell underwear to the Russian Black market. Profit!
Step 4: Spank underwearless former owner just for the fun of it.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Mon 24 Aug 2009, 22:17, Reply)

Step 5: ??
Step 6: PROFIT!
( Maladicta, Mon 24 Aug 2009, 22:19, Reply)

Step 5:
eBay?
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Mon 24 Aug 2009, 22:30, Reply)

For great justice!

( Maladicta, Mon 24 Aug 2009, 22:44, Reply)

I'm sticking at step 2 thanks

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 24 Aug 2009, 22:30, Reply)