I told this
to a few b3tans at the weekend, and it reminded me that I'd not actually told anyone else yet.

A few months ago I adopted a 2-year old kitteh from the RSPCA. Pic in replies.

After I bought him, I found out from his paperwork that he's actually a purebreed pedigree cat - a Russian Black. Now, pedigree to me means only one thing, and that's that he's absolutely spaztasically inbred.

So far, he's completely failed to banish any preconceptions I'd had about pedigree animals. He is without a doubt, the stupidest, most graceless cat I've ever come across.

He's completely perplexed by the catflap, and has to be shown every time how to use it. It's become an evening ritual - he paws the catflap gormlessly while mewing pathetically at it, and after about half an hour I walk over and push his head through it.

He attempted to jump onto my bed this morning (a whole 2 foot jump from the floor), missed, then slid off.

In short, he's completely full of epic fail.

It was only natural then that there was only one name I could give him. He's called Catface.
( rubberduck should only be used after consulting with your GP, Mon 31 Aug 2009, 10:57, 10 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Here he is
in his gormless glory.


( rubberduck should only be used after consulting with your GP, Mon 31 Aug 2009, 10:58, Reply)

Not smug
enough.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Mon 31 Aug 2009, 11:03, Reply)

^ This
Needs more lolwhacky
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 31 Aug 2009, 12:27, Reply)

Do you have any photos
of him being picked up by an older woman?
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 31 Aug 2009, 12:36, Reply)

Excellent work
*firm handshakes*
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 31 Aug 2009, 12:22, Reply)

Perhaps he has
a depth perception problem? Has he been tested for it?

Or it may in fact be your initial diagnosis of gormlessness. He IS cute though.
( warmfuzzies Isn't here, Mon 31 Aug 2009, 12:26, Reply)

Oh dear
It's been a long time since I last failed to jump on a bed.
( Captain V, Mon 31 Aug 2009, 13:42, Reply)

I once had two pedigree siamese cats
Their intellects put together would have (just about) made one decent retard.
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Mon 31 Aug 2009, 13:46, Reply)

Seeing as he's horribly inbred
Surely Norfolk would be a better name?
( Tedium Alduce me to interlow myself., Mon 31 Aug 2009, 15:52, Reply)

Could buy another one and call it Goode
Norfolk and Goode. Sorry.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Mon 31 Aug 2009, 16:37, Reply)