I just went to ride the porcelain bus
to find that a previous passenger had left something unflushed.

I kid you not, this turd was a sphere about 3 inches across. The guy must have been reamed by a fucking elephant's trunk to be able to pass something of that magnitude!

Felt I had to share it with you lot.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 9 Sep 2009, 16:16, 15 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

A solid sphere?
Or a 'pat'?
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 9 Sep 2009, 16:26, Reply)

I didn't examine its integrity that closely
It certainly wasn't flat though, it definitely had some volume to it
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 9 Sep 2009, 16:34, Reply)

Wow
I bet it was just a liquid stream that had become semi-spherical on landing.
The alternative is terrifying.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 9 Sep 2009, 16:35, Reply)

I once shat an almost perfect cube, around 2 inches a side.
It was fucking painful.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Wed 9 Sep 2009, 16:35, Reply)

Stop eating your Lego creations.

( thealternativefact, Wed 9 Sep 2009, 16:36, Reply)

But they're so colourful!

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Wed 9 Sep 2009, 16:37, Reply)

Perhaps disguising vegetables as Lego is the way to go.

( thealternativefact, Wed 9 Sep 2009, 16:40, Reply)

Woah, you've stumbled upon something there...
Building bricks made out of shit. Loggo!
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 9 Sep 2009, 16:38, Reply)

Yeh, great.
Not coming to play at your house.
( thealternativefact, Wed 9 Sep 2009, 16:39, Reply)

Imagine how they'd look if you ate a Wham Bar first...

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 9 Sep 2009, 16:40, Reply)

Mmm...snacks.

( thealternativefact, Wed 9 Sep 2009, 16:40, Reply)

I found something like that once.
About a similar size... I can only assume one of my colleagues had been chowing down on tennis balls.
( jim_bob can herd cats., Wed 9 Sep 2009, 16:55, Reply)

it was the size of a tennis ball
it boggled the mind
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 9 Sep 2009, 16:56, Reply)

Same as the one I found.
How the person in question was able to walk straight afterwards I don't know.

But I did feel a little bad letting the cleaning guy know about the offending obstruction...
( jim_bob can herd cats., Wed 9 Sep 2009, 17:04, Reply)

ugh - memories....
My old pal Jethro went on a ski trip to Italy, by coach, with a carrier bag of jelly-type sweets. He ate them all throughout the journey - the coach lavatory was broken. When he arrived at his destination he curled one out that was without doubt 50cm long. Sadly I know this because he produced an enlarged black and white photo of the behemoth. It came out of the U bend, went at least twice round the bowl and stuck upright about 15-20cm into the air. Think a thin forearm rising from the pan.

Some things you can't un-see....
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 Sep 2009, 17:29, Reply)