I love 'missed connections' on Gumtree
Especially when you get gems such as this
www.gumtree.com/london/18/45480118.html

So my hugely interesting question for today, O internet, is this:
If you saw someone you liked on public transport/in a park/supermarket/place you go to to not feel alone and isolated...would you go up to them and speak to them or would you write a rather stalkerish post on Gumtree/craigslist in the hope that they will see it and fall in love with your fantastic writing skills and by proxy, you?
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 21 Sep 2009, 10:32, 52 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I love the freudian slip in that.
I'd probably steal their wallet and phone so I could find more about them and then start a prolonged period of romantic late night phone calls and send them home made presents.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 21 Sep 2009, 10:37, Reply)

"we both got on the bust"?
I wonder what's on his mind..._{it certainly wasn't the need to offer a more thoughtfully written and legible piece of prose}
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 21 Sep 2009, 11:05, Reply)

I'd club them
and drag them back to my cave by their hair
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 21 Sep 2009, 10:46, Reply)

I bet you have "clubbing" under the hobbies section of your CV.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 21 Sep 2009, 10:52, Reply)

I don't
but I might add it

Interests and Hobbies:
Music, reading, watersports, clubbing: seals, prospective mates, eating of bones (for the purpose of).
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 21 Sep 2009, 11:04, Reply)

Music, reading, watersports, clubbing: seals, prospective mates, eating of bones (for the purpose of).

I love horses.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Mon 21 Sep 2009, 11:21, Reply)

horses
Glen Campbell
( Cawl, Mon 21 Sep 2009, 11:24, Reply)

how did you get hold of my CV?

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 21 Sep 2009, 11:27, Reply)

I'm like a rhinestone cowboy.

( Cawl, Mon 21 Sep 2009, 11:28, Reply)

riding out on a horse at a star-spangled rodeo?

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 21 Sep 2009, 11:30, Reply)

Damn fuckin' straight.
Anyway, I gotta go now, roadtrip time, and my CDs are all burned.
( Cawl, Mon 21 Sep 2009, 11:33, Reply)

I find CDs work better
if you don't set them on fire

_{Sorry, my jokes aren't going to get any better today...}
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 21 Sep 2009, 11:35, Reply)

Getting cards and letters from people he doesn't even know
Thanks to the miracle of "missed connections" on Gumtree
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 21 Sep 2009, 11:34, Reply)

Letter's?
It's not your day today.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Mon 21 Sep 2009, 11:35, Reply)

ARGH!
I'm SO sorry about that. *ninja-edit!*
Won't happen again. Dear, oh dear, what's wrong with me today?
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 21 Sep 2009, 11:36, Reply)

Long list, or short list?

( Cawl, Mon 21 Sep 2009, 11:37, Reply)

Long list
I'll make you work for this one...
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 21 Sep 2009, 11:39, Reply)

Ok...
Academic problem
Acculturation problem
Acute stress disorder
Adjustment disorder
Adolescent antisocial behavior
Adult antisocial behavior
Adverse effects of medication-not otherwise specified
Age-related cognitive decline
Agoraphobia without history of panic disorder
Alcohol-related disorder
Amnestic disorder
Amphetamine (or amphetamine-like)-related disorder
Anorexia nervosa
Antisocial personality disorder
Anxiety disorder
Anxiolytic-related disorder
Asperger syndrome
Attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder
Atypical autism
Autistic disorder
Autophagia
Avoidant personality disorder
Bereavement
Bibliomania
Binge eating disorder
Bipolar disorder
Boanthropy
Body dysmorphic disorder
Borderline intellectual functioning
Borderline personality disorder
Breathing-related sleep disorder
Brief psychotic disorder
Bulimia nervosa
Caffeine-related disorder
Cannabis-related disorder
Catatonic disorder
Childhood antisocial behavior
Childhood Disintegrative Disorder
Chronic motor or vocal tic disorder
Circadian rhythm sleep disorder
Cocaine-related disorder
Cognitive disorder
Communication disorder
Conduct disorder
Conversion disorder
Delirium
Delusional disorder
Dementia
Dependent personality disorder
Depersonalization disorder
Depression
Depressive disorder
Derealization
Developmental coordination disorder
Disorder of infancy, childhood, or adolescence-not otherwise specified
Disorder of written expression
Disruptive behavior disorder
Dissociative amnesia
Dissociative disorder
Dissociative fugue
Diogenes syndrome
Dissociative identity disorder (DID)
Down Syndrome
Dyspareunia
Dyssomnia
Dysthymic disorder
Eating disorder-not otherwise specified
Echolalia
Echopraxia
Emotional disorder
Encopresis
Enuresis (not due to a general medical condition)
Erotomania
Exhibitionism
Expressive language disorder
Factitious disorder
Feeding disorder of infancy or early childhood
Female and male orgasmic disorders
Female sexual arousal disorder
Fetishism
Fregoli delusion
Frotteurism
Ganser syndrome
Gender identity disorder
Generalized anxiety disorder
General adaptation syndrome
Hallucinogen-related disorder
Histrionic personality disorder
Huntington's disease
Hypoactive sexual desire disorder
Hypomanic episode
Impulse control disorder-not elsewhere classified
Inhalant-related disorder
Insomnia due to a general medical condition
Intermittent explosive disorder
Joubert syndrome
Kleptomania
Learning disorders
Lima syndrome
Major depressive disorder
Major depressive episode
Male erectile disorder
Malingering
Manic episode
Mathematics disorder
Medication-related disorder
Mental disorder-not otherwise specified due to a general medical condition
Mental Retardation
Mixed episode
Mixed receptive-expressive language disorder
Mood disorder
Mood episode
Motor skills disorder
Munchausen's syndrome
Munchausen's syndrome by proxy
Narcissistic personality disorder
Narcolepsy
Neglect of child
Neuroleptic-related disorder
Nicotine-related disorder
Nightmare disorder
Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD)
Obsessive-compulsive personality disorder (OCPD)
Occupational problem
Oneirophrenia
Opioid-related disorder
Oppositional defiant disorder (ODD)
Pain disorder
Panic attack
Panic disorder with agoraphobia
Panic disorder without agoraphobia
Paranoid personality disorder
Paraphilia
Parasomnia
Parent-child relational problem
Partner relational problem
Pathological gambling
Pedophilia
Perfectionism
Personality change due to a general medical condition
Personality disorder
Personality disorder-not otherwise specified
Pervasive developmental disorder (PDD)
Pervasive Developmental Disorder-Non Otherwise Specified (PDD-NOS)
Phase of life problem
Phencyclidine (or phencyclidine-like)-related disorder
Phonological disorder
Physical abuse
Pica
Polysubstance-related disorder
Post-traumatic embitterment disorder (PTED)
Posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD)
Premature ejaculation
Primary hypersomnia
Primary insomnia
Psychological factor affecting medical condition
Psychotic disorder
Psychotic disorder-non otherwise specified
Pyromania
Reactive Attachment Disorder of infancy or early childhood
Reading disorder
Relational disorder
Relational problem
Religious or spiritual problem
Residual schizophrenia
Rett's disorder
Rumination syndrome
Schizoaffective disorder
Schizoid personality disorder
Schizophrenia
Schizophreniform disorder
Schizotypal personality disorder
Sedative-, hypnotic-, or anxiolytic-related disorder
Selective mutism
Separation anxiety disorder
Severe mental retardation
Sexual abuse of adult
Sexual abuse of child
Sexual arousal disorder
Sexual aversion disorder
Sexual desire disorder
Sexual disorder
Sexual dysfunction
Sexual pain disorder
Sexual sadism
Shared psychotic disorder
Sibling relational problem
Sleep disorder
Sleep terror disorder
Sleepwalking disorder
Social phobia (Social anxiety disorder]]
Somatization disorder
Somatoform disorder
Specific phobia
Stereotypic movement disorder
Stuttering
Substance-related disorder
Tardive dyskinesia
Tic disorder
Tourette's disorder
Transient tic disorder
Transvestic Fetishism
Trichotillomania
Vaginismus
Vascular dementia
Voyeurism
( Cawl, Mon 21 Sep 2009, 11:43, Reply)

tl;dr

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Mon 21 Sep 2009, 11:46, Reply)

Exactly.

( Cawl, Mon 21 Sep 2009, 11:47, Reply)

You're shit at the internet

(PsychoChomp, Mon 21 Sep 2009, 11:54, Reply)

You've only just realised?

( Cawl, Mon 21 Sep 2009, 11:56, Reply)

You also appear to be shit at going on road trips.

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Mon 21 Sep 2009, 11:56, Reply)

Yeah.
I'll be off soon. Not soon enough, perhaps, but soon-ish.
( Cawl, Mon 21 Sep 2009, 11:58, Reply)

If she does get in touch
he will hug her and pet her and call her George.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 21 Sep 2009, 10:50, Reply)

My locals one has some gems
exeter.gumtree.com/exeter/01/43334901.html
( Peej, Mon 21 Sep 2009, 11:05, Reply)

Ha!
That's priceless...
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 21 Sep 2009, 11:06, Reply)

I knew there was something funny about the people of Paignton

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 21 Sep 2009, 11:08, Reply)

My personal adverts never got many promising replies
But I got a few odd replies when I told people I was into jazz singing and water-skiing...
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 21 Sep 2009, 11:07, Reply)

How unusual.
I didn't realise they did personal ads in the nineteenth century.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Mon 21 Sep 2009, 11:09, Reply)

...you've lost me there
Am I missing something?
EDIT: Are you making light of the fact that I've just posted a really old joke?
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 21 Sep 2009, 11:10, Reply)

Yes, yes I am.

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Mon 21 Sep 2009, 11:20, Reply)

Yes.

( Cawl, Mon 21 Sep 2009, 11:21, Reply)

Gadzooks!
Now they're all ganging up on me.

Methinks I had best retort with some newer and more modern witticism, the like of which this electronic conversation service might never have witnessed before...

*tries to come up with a Maddie joke*
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 21 Sep 2009, 11:25, Reply)

It would be nice to think
I wouldn't resort to making a stalkerish post on said websites like that travesty of an example, but I'm also usually far too shy to ask a random stranger for their number. So, MTFU and getting on with my life is really the only remaining option for me.
It has to be said though, that had my eyes met someone elses for one sparkling, tweety-bird filled second, and I'd spent some considerable time browsing gumtree, london paper etc and actually found that person... if the ad had been written like that I wouldn't have replied, no matter how overwhelmingly, momentarily in love I was. Bloody cretin.

Also, are you no longer having a birthday b3ta bash? sadface.
(berk, Mon 21 Sep 2009, 11:25, Reply)

Here's one from Milton Keynes
miltonkeynes.gumtree.com/miltonkeynes/18/43265118.html

HE SOUNDS LIKE A CATCH
(PsychoChomp, Mon 21 Sep 2009, 11:28, Reply)

What did you buy from the game shop then?

( Cawl, Mon 21 Sep 2009, 11:29, Reply)

ABOUT 1.30 / 2 OCLOCK PM
You know the shops aren't open at 1:30am don't you.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 21 Sep 2009, 11:31, Reply)

He appears to be unfamiliar
with the word "were".
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 21 Sep 2009, 11:31, Reply)

it's written a bit like a retarded telegram.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 21 Sep 2009, 11:33, Reply)

People at work insist I was the subject of one in the Metro recently.
I am dubious, but am on the lookout for the "girl in the brown leather jacket" so I can demand that she explain what she meant by calling me "arty".
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Mon 21 Sep 2009, 11:35, Reply)

Arty= "gay looking"

(PsychoChomp, Mon 21 Sep 2009, 11:35, Reply)

Exactly.

( Cawl, Mon 21 Sep 2009, 11:36, Reply)

That is how I have interpreted it.
I don't want no fag-hags.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Mon 21 Sep 2009, 11:36, Reply)

But they want you.
All over their shopping-trips.
( Cawl, Mon 21 Sep 2009, 11:39, Reply)

I give good shop.

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Mon 21 Sep 2009, 11:42, Reply)

"gay",
I think.
( Cawl, Mon 21 Sep 2009, 11:35, Reply)

When I was 19...
There was a gorgeous lad on my bus. Egged on by my on-off girlfriend at the time, as I got off the bus I dropped a piece of paper with a little note and my number. The landline at my parents' house.
He phoned me and left his name with my mum.
Three times.
I was not home on any of those occasions.
I did not have a mobile phone.
At one point I did 1471 and called back but chickened out.
He stopped calling. I did see him in a pub about a year later but I just legged it out. Probably best it didn't happen.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 21 Sep 2009, 11:39, Reply)

Ah, bless

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 21 Sep 2009, 11:44, Reply)

Hah, at least I'm not THIS one
liverpool.gumtree.com/liverpool/14/42672614.html

I fancy he watched wistfully throught he bars on his window as she floated by, a vision in tangerine...
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 21 Sep 2009, 11:48, Reply)

I would do nothing and wallow in self-pity and apathy instead.

( thealternativefact, Mon 21 Sep 2009, 12:06, Reply)

It's generally for the best

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 21 Sep 2009, 12:16, Reply)