they are awesome
croissant filled with some kind of almond paste. delicious. much better than gay, lame pain-au-chocolat
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 30 Sep 2009, 15:03, 1 reply, 16 years ago)

I've never even heard of this
where can I get one? Or do I have to squirt my own almond juice into a french pastry?
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 30 Sep 2009, 15:04, Reply)

I'd recommend the marks and spencer ones
because I had one recently and it was really good.

from the bit where you pick up the item with tongs and put it in a bag, rather than the pre-packed nonsense
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 30 Sep 2009, 15:04, Reply)

Ah, now I see
I'm too poor for Marks and Spencers, I'm going to have to crush my own nuts in a little french bread
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 30 Sep 2009, 15:06, Reply)

they're under a quid each
you should try it
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 30 Sep 2009, 15:07, Reply)

A whole pound?
There's an M&S just down the road from me, but I'm far too lazy to walk all that way just to see middle-aged women fawning over grotty pants and microwave ready meals.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 30 Sep 2009, 15:09, Reply)

really?
just think of the wank-fodder
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 30 Sep 2009, 15:11, Reply)

You're right, I'm not above this kind of thing at all
I'll be arrested for touching myself in the wine aisle by four
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 30 Sep 2009, 15:12, Reply)

there's the bert monkeysex we all know and love

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 30 Sep 2009, 15:12, Reply)

Shucks
You're too sweet.

When they take me away I'll be telling them that you're the one who forced me, a poor, defenceless mong, into sexually assaulting a croissant
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 30 Sep 2009, 15:15, Reply)

that's fine
I'll plead insanity. the uncontrollable laughter will help my case.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 30 Sep 2009, 15:17, Reply)

There's a ladybird in my keyboard!
He should be ok though, as long as I don't type the letter 'x'

...oh fuck, he's dead
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 30 Sep 2009, 15:19, Reply)

hahaha

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 30 Sep 2009, 15:20, Reply)

D:

( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 30 Sep 2009, 15:20, Reply)

It's ok
he just flew out. Landed on my neck though the stupid fucker, so now he really is dead
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 30 Sep 2009, 15:22, Reply)

he wanted to love you and all you did was squash him :'(
rip laydee brd alwais in r harts
( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 30 Sep 2009, 15:25, Reply)

WAIT!
It's crawling along the floor! He's not dead, just severely injured!

Hooray for persistant insects!

*stamp*
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 30 Sep 2009, 15:26, Reply)

you really are a mad bastard aren't you?

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 30 Sep 2009, 15:30, Reply)

I think he's just lying
QOTW King, right there
( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 30 Sep 2009, 15:34, Reply)

It was all true
except I didn't stamp on him, I'm not that cruel
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 30 Sep 2009, 15:36, Reply)

Not at all
I'm going to give him a proper funeral and everything. I've named him Jeffrey, I just need to find a tiny box
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 30 Sep 2009, 15:34, Reply)