Slight w00t!
Mortgage lady doesn't seem to have touted on me and I got a reasonable valuation from her - it was slightly less than I hoped but that's more to do with the damp patch (fnarr) than my l337 gardening skillz. I am now going to make my ex an offer he can probably refuse, so keep your bits crossed.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Wed 7 Oct 2009, 16:42, 13 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

that's good news indeed
I was thinking, when you (and catface if you bring him) come down this way, rather than going for a pint, you should come to my gaff, for a smoke, and a cuppa. See me in my natural environment.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 7 Oct 2009, 16:46, Reply)

This is plan-like.
Do you have a guitar-shaped moat? I imagine that you do, and that you gaze upon it while eating croissants and browsing the newspaper on your balcony.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Wed 7 Oct 2009, 16:52, Reply)

He's got a pooey floor
and his mrs has a red bottom.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 7 Oct 2009, 16:52, Reply)

and he's half blind

( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Wed 7 Oct 2009, 17:01, Reply)

the hitting in the eye thing was some time ago
unless you are referring to something else...
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 7 Oct 2009, 17:03, Reply)

unfortunately not
the house I build for myself will have a guitar shaped pool with neck being a water slide.

I also don't have a balcony. If provided with croissants I will sit back and eat them smugly though.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 7 Oct 2009, 16:54, Reply)

Hooray for mortgage ladies!
Did you off to lend her catface for a weekend? If not, trying calling her back and see if that increases the offer.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 7 Oct 2009, 16:46, Reply)

I wish I'd thought of that.
He could have wowed her with his spreadsheet miracles.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Wed 7 Oct 2009, 16:52, Reply)

He could have showed her
how to make a spreadsheet to do all her mortgage calculations thus freeing up lots of office time for illicit frigging. She'd be dead grateful for that.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 7 Oct 2009, 16:53, Reply)

That's pretty much how he helped me out.
There's a business plan with franchises in there somewhere.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Wed 7 Oct 2009, 16:54, Reply)

Splendid :)
I'm sure you could further increase the value with the judicious placement of a garden gnome? You know, it would give your garden that certain "je ne sais quoi".
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Wed 7 Oct 2009, 16:46, Reply)

If it was a French gnome.
I only have a English one. He contributes I don't know what to the garden.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Wed 7 Oct 2009, 16:50, Reply)

Fertiliser?

( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Wed 7 Oct 2009, 16:53, Reply)