I'm totally revamping my CV
and as such have lost the will to live. There's probably only a lone goose reading this and his webbed feet and feathery fingers mean he probably will make as much sense as Catface on sherry if he does reply.

I may resort to talking to myself here later
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 12 Oct 2009, 22:34, 24 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Nothing to see here...
...move along.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Mon 12 Oct 2009, 22:35, Reply)

*looks*
I think I see something... it is very very small though
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 12 Oct 2009, 22:38, Reply)

Look...
...it's very cold here, alright?
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Mon 12 Oct 2009, 22:40, Reply)

I hate writing CV's

(PsychoChomp, Mon 12 Oct 2009, 22:36, Reply)

CV's what?

(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Mon 12 Oct 2009, 22:36, Reply)

I'm in that stage
of trying to make "made a fancysmanchy spreadsheet" sound professional and inspiring.

I am almost making myself vomit with the amount of rubbish CV talk I am spewing
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 12 Oct 2009, 22:37, Reply)

It's not easy, especially if you feel like you're overselling yourself.
Maybe put it to one side and wait until inspiration strikes.

Are you dole at the moment or just looking to advance your career?
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Mon 12 Oct 2009, 22:39, Reply)

Well my work
refuse to give me a measly £500 raise even though I am on considerably less than everyone else and was described as my manager as "the backbone of the department" well they can wibble about like invertebrates because I've had enough. The job I've seen has the exact same job title I have now and pays 2500 more.
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 12 Oct 2009, 22:43, Reply)

Stick it to the man
Stick it in his arse.
( Captain V, Mon 12 Oct 2009, 22:52, Reply)

What Capt V said ^
Sounds like they need to be cnuted in the funk.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Mon 12 Oct 2009, 22:57, Reply)

I am pretty racked off
*angry badgering*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 12 Oct 2009, 22:59, Reply)

It's understandable...
...I assume they know the score with you? If they're prepared to give everyone else raises except you then either they're banking on you putting up and shutting up or they expect you to vacate the role.

If its the latter then they'll have to fork out the same to advertise or pay a recruiter. Makes no sense to me.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Mon 12 Oct 2009, 23:02, Reply)

They know the score
the excuse was loads of crap about "kPIs" and no raises would be given until these were implemented and achieved. Obviously my own inititive and implementation of several (frankly brilliant) new processes count for nothing
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 12 Oct 2009, 23:09, Reply)

CHCB told me I had to come and chat to you
As you're doing a CV, mention me and I've not been on b3ta in ages.

CV writing is NOT fun.
( Captain V, Mon 12 Oct 2009, 22:41, Reply)

CAAAATFAAAAAAAACe
How's your job hunt going? Say hi to CHCB for me!
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 12 Oct 2009, 22:44, Reply)

You have a gaz!
My job hunt is going ok. I found an advert today for a job doing exactly what I was doing in my last job. The agent seemed pretty keen and I'm meeting him tomorrow afternoon.
( Captain V, Mon 12 Oct 2009, 22:51, Reply)

*motorboats everyone in this thread*
A friend of mine from 20 years ago was applying for a job in the fire service. There was a section on the application form asking something like, "Do you have any particular skills/attributes that you could contribute to this job?" To which my pal responded, "Oh yes, I can whistle and hum at the same time!"
He could, you know.
He didn't get an interview.
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Mon 12 Oct 2009, 22:55, Reply)

HEY MA!
I think he should have wrote

"I am fireproof"
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 12 Oct 2009, 22:56, Reply)

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!!!
"He should have written", not "He should have wrote......."
I thought I'd brought you up to respect and adhere to correct grammar young lady? Now, off to bed with you and we'll talk about this in the morning. No cocoa either!
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Mon 12 Oct 2009, 23:37, Reply)

I like this^
I should try putting that on my CV.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Mon 12 Oct 2009, 23:03, Reply)

They don't use the term "CV" in the US,
so my resume has "Curriculumn Vitae" written across the top in bold. It garners attention.

Good luck!
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Mon 12 Oct 2009, 23:06, Reply)

Thanks WBM :)
How's you? Maybe I will write "Not a resume!" across the top of mine :p
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 12 Oct 2009, 23:09, Reply)

I'm good!
Had an epic weekend and things are good on the home front. Got 6 people coming over for dinner tonight and to watch the big "football" (American Football) game - we call it Monday Night Football.

Feel free to send me your CV if you want - I've been in charge of employing people many a time, and I know as a potential employer what I look for (I currently have an ad out for staff for my new job).
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Mon 12 Oct 2009, 23:15, Reply)

Thanks
It's not looking like it's going to be finished anytime soon though!

Ooh football night sounds awesomes
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 12 Oct 2009, 23:17, Reply)