Best song lyric ever?
I've just been reminded of this classic from the Macc Lads:

"She said I was good looking and I looked a bit like George Michael,
But she didn't want fucking, she were on her menstrual cycle!"

And also

"There's crack over there, their sittin' on benches,
Two of 'em are dead fit and one of them's got dentures".

Genius.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 16 Oct 2009, 20:11, 16 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

You do need a certain refined character to enjoy the Macc lads.
And I has it.
( girlinthehole, Fri 16 Oct 2009, 20:17, Reply)

and a big knob

(omnishambles ™ has been fucking things up big style since, Sun 18 Oct 2009, 10:39, Reply)

I make her wear nothing but handcuffs & heels
And I beat it like a cop
Rodney King baby yeah I beat it like a cop
( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 16 Oct 2009, 20:22, Reply)

whos this by ?

( willenium Fist bump for verification, Fri 16 Oct 2009, 22:51, Reply)

Oh Yes.
"Well she wore big knickers and she worked on t' sewage faaaarm
I put me hand down her jeans and I nearly lost half me aaaaarm."
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Fri 16 Oct 2009, 20:51, Reply)

"But after ten pints she looked quite fit,
Couldn't wait to get me 'ands on 'er flabby tits
Sweaty Betty!"
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 16 Oct 2009, 20:56, Reply)

.
"She had a huge vagina
Sweaty Betty - could fit a bus inside her."

And also

"Me Vauxhall Viva's all covered in rust
But you can't pull a bird on the 29 bus."
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Fri 16 Oct 2009, 21:00, Reply)

Wasn't it something like...

"I can't believe the size of her bum,

She could play for Wigan at the back of the scrum"

ah, my childhood memories flooding back.

Cheers
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Fri 16 Oct 2009, 22:38, Reply)

"I fell out of favour with heaven somewhere
and I'm here for the hell of it now."
( Maladicta, Fri 16 Oct 2009, 20:56, Reply)

Oh, that's my line too...
But you got there first and we've been here before, so I'll settle for "sometimes I bounce off the walls, and sometimes my head hits the floor". Good choice kid.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Sat 17 Oct 2009, 0:53, Reply)

Tenuous claim to fame
I went to college with a girl who went out with a bandmember's brother.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Fri 16 Oct 2009, 21:56, Reply)

"If I'm leaving with a broken heart, your leaving with a broken nose"
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Fri 16 Oct 2009, 22:49, Reply)

Well I'm back, I've got a cock made out of platinum
I've got money coming out of the sky
I've got the world's last piece of chocolate
I've got the full moon in my eye

Wall of Fire by Monster Magnet
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Sat 17 Oct 2009, 9:23, Reply)

edna gratton
nuff said!
(Stringy, Sat 17 Oct 2009, 13:14, Reply)

how about
your mums quite fit

apart from the missing tit

i quite like your sister

with her big sweaty bifter
(omnishambles ™ has been fucking things up big style since, Sun 18 Oct 2009, 10:38, Reply)

Animal Testing
I believe in animal testing
MOOO!
Thats a cow

The contest stops now!
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 19 Oct 2009, 15:01, Reply)