A Question
I have seventeen raisins in one hand, and I insert the other hand into a cow, then invest my raisins in milk shares. Breaking a bottle of German white wine over the shin of my Aunt Boris, I head North relative to that which is not North. If I drink the water from the Doric well to my left, what colour is the bear?

_{Sorry, it's going to be one of those days...}
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 30 Oct 2009, 13:18, 28 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Brown

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 30 Oct 2009, 13:19, Reply)

Good answer

(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 30 Oct 2009, 13:20, Reply)

I'm not just a Charles 1st lookalike you know

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 30 Oct 2009, 13:22, Reply)

Not just a Charles I lookalike
but also an expert in the colouring of unexpected bears. I am impressed.
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 30 Oct 2009, 13:23, Reply)

Arthur

( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Fri 30 Oct 2009, 13:22, Reply)

Arthur?
Is this one of these made-up girly colours like 'Teal' or 'Periwinkle?'
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 30 Oct 2009, 13:24, Reply)

No
that's his name.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Fri 30 Oct 2009, 13:26, Reply)

Your wisdom impresses me.
Would this be the same Arthur who was spurned by his father, who had wanted a hermaphrodite but was forced to make do with a son? The same Arthur, who his mother had wanted to call Heinrich, but the father had insisted on ArthurMartha in the hope of this dual-sexed bearchild, only to be forced to settle on Arthur after close inspection of the newborn revealed it only had a cock?
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 30 Oct 2009, 13:28, Reply)

Yes, him.

( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Fri 30 Oct 2009, 23:31, Reply)

black and white

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 30 Oct 2009, 13:22, Reply)

No
I have recently upgraded to colour eyesight.
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 30 Oct 2009, 13:28, Reply)

white

( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 30 Oct 2009, 13:23, Reply)

Racist

(Bazongaloid, Fri 30 Oct 2009, 13:30, Reply)

BURN THE RACIST!
Cleanse this thread of its impurities!
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 30 Oct 2009, 13:36, Reply)

You are eaten by a grue

(Bazongaloid, Fri 30 Oct 2009, 13:29, Reply)

My word.
Fine ninjaing there.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Fri 30 Oct 2009, 13:30, Reply)

shut it you

(Bazongaloid, Fri 30 Oct 2009, 13:30, Reply)

I wouldn't have noticed if I hadn't been in the process of getting all pedantic.

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Fri 30 Oct 2009, 13:35, Reply)

all pedantic my trousers off and a nice handful of vaseline.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 30 Oct 2009, 13:36, Reply)

And?
I keep telling you people, my boss is hot. You'd do the same.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Fri 30 Oct 2009, 13:37, Reply)

In her office?

(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 30 Oct 2009, 13:39, Reply)

There's no point doing it anywhere else,
I wouldn't be able to see.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Fri 30 Oct 2009, 13:41, Reply)

I guess she must be used to it by now
"...sorry, Wookiee, could you fwap a bit more quietly, this is an important phone call"
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 30 Oct 2009, 13:42, Reply)

Infra-Red
And the penguin is ultra-violet.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Fri 30 Oct 2009, 13:36, Reply)

Whoa, whoa,
Hold on a cotton-pickin' minute. Everyone knows penguins are a strong X-ray source. Unless you cooled the penguin down to a sufficiently low temperature to shift the peak of its Planck curve into the UV...?

Happy candle day as well, by the way.
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 30 Oct 2009, 13:38, Reply)

Thanks
Penguins live in the Antarctic, and are hence cooled. They used to live in warmer climates but their x-ray emissions were the cause of too much mass-voyeurism so they were rounded up and herded to the South Pole.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Fri 30 Oct 2009, 13:47, Reply)

It's terrible when people abuse the power of penguins in such a fashion
But I see a brave, nostalgic few still return to the shores of South Africa every so often.
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 30 Oct 2009, 13:53, Reply)

And Australia
They have little fairy penguins.
( SpikeyPickle wishes he was mabazaritchie, Fri 30 Oct 2009, 14:32, Reply)