New jeans and trainers
to make me EVEN sexier
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 30 Oct 2009, 16:12, 2 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

arseless chaps
and poof clogs more like it
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Fri 30 Oct 2009, 16:16, Reply)

Spot on
I buy my poof clogs from Morrisons
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 30 Oct 2009, 16:25, Reply)

I hope you're going to do as I suggested earlier,

(Bazongaloid, Fri 30 Oct 2009, 16:21, Reply)

Die of cock cancer?
I'm working on it, do you know if there's a male equivalent of the pamplona virus?
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 30 Oct 2009, 16:25, Reply)

No, not that
I want you to give your mrs one from me.

As I said:

"I want you to hold on to those wonky tits and shout "This ones for the Geordie!" Before cracking her pelvis."
(Bazongaloid, Fri 30 Oct 2009, 16:26, Reply)

Yep, I saw that one
I'm going to scream 'THIS ONE'S FOR THE NON-GEORDIE' right in her face as I come, and if she asks what the hell it's all about I'll give her a slap.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 30 Oct 2009, 16:30, Reply)

Then give her a mexican avalanche.

(Bazongaloid, Fri 30 Oct 2009, 16:32, Reply)

I live in a flat
I'd have to drag her out into the hall, and kick her down four flights of stairs.

I'm liking this idea
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 30 Oct 2009, 16:38, Reply)

You know what you have to do.

(Bazongaloid, Fri 30 Oct 2009, 16:45, Reply)

She deserves it, the bitch
with her studying so hard towards her degree and working every hour she can to get by, I'm lucky to get five texts a day from her these days. Selfish cow.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 30 Oct 2009, 16:47, Reply)

When she gets to the bottom
you should follow her down and then do her up the bum.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 30 Oct 2009, 16:49, Reply)

Thrusting her back up the stairs as I go

( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 30 Oct 2009, 16:58, Reply)

that bitch
I've got half a mind to give her a rusty fish-hook
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 30 Oct 2009, 16:49, Reply)

What despicable sex practice is this?

( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 30 Oct 2009, 16:58, Reply)

whilst reaming them from behind
insert a finger into their brown eye, whip it out and use it like a fish hook in the corner of their mouth
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 30 Oct 2009, 16:59, Reply)

Pffft
Brilliant
(Bazongaloid, Fri 30 Oct 2009, 17:00, Reply)

going to be trying that one out?

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 30 Oct 2009, 17:05, Reply)

His Mrs would lose her whole hand if she tried it on him
as she pounded him with her strap-on cucumber
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 30 Oct 2009, 17:08, Reply)

Eurgh
that's wonderful
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 30 Oct 2009, 17:02, Reply)