Hands up who shagged a mental last night, then?
Surely not just me? :o(
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 13 Nov 2009, 9:03, 65 replies, latest was 17 years ago)

Oh, you goon.
I had a wank. I think that probably counts.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 13 Nov 2009, 9:06, Reply)

Ha! Quality reply right there

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 13 Nov 2009, 9:07, Reply)

I shagged one two nights ago.
But then I was stupid enough to marry her.
( Peej, Fri 13 Nov 2009, 9:07, Reply)

Ask me if I'm surprised.
GO ON AND ASK ME!!!!
( girlinthehole, Fri 13 Nov 2009, 9:08, Reply)

I'm sorry
I've let myself down. I've let you down, but worst of all, I've let my beloved /OT down.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 13 Nov 2009, 9:10, Reply)

cut it off...
right back to the pubes
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Fri 13 Nov 2009, 9:11, Reply)

She bought me dinner
got me pissed then produced an 1/8 of flake and suggested we nipped into my flat to 'try it out'.

Damn woman knows my weak points better than I do.

*hangs head*
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 13 Nov 2009, 9:15, Reply)

well when you put it like that,
you were caught in the headlights old bean, helpless.

i think your previous description of her being 'a mental', is way off the mark, this is lady who knows her prey, and how to snare it. ;-)
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Fri 13 Nov 2009, 9:19, Reply)

A more devious harridan I have yet to meet

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 13 Nov 2009, 9:22, Reply)

She's pure evil
it's the only explanation
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 13 Nov 2009, 9:23, Reply)

errrrrmmm..
She was casually carrying around £100 worth of coke? Very fucking dodgy.
(raymond "three griddle pans" luxury yacht lovin' the christmas action, Sat 14 Nov 2009, 14:40, Reply)

Isn't it great when you ejaculate inside someone
and then INSTANTLY regret it....
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Fri 13 Nov 2009, 9:10, Reply)

Can't you just find someone else to play hide the sausage with instead of the nutter?

( girlinthehole, Fri 13 Nov 2009, 9:13, Reply)

No
I have a 22 year old Polish girl whom I could boff without any trouble, but I think she might be even more mental than the other one. She punched another girl in the face at work.

HANG ON!! WE'RE MADE FOR EACH OTHER!
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 13 Nov 2009, 9:19, Reply)

I love how you 'have'
a 22 year old Polish girl... do you have her 'Fritzled' in cellar?

Did you order her on the internet?
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Fri 13 Nov 2009, 9:26, Reply)

I meant 'on reserve' or 'on the back burner'
I realise this makes me come across as a terrible cad, but it's not quite like that. I've never led her on, but she has been quite literally begging for it for some time now.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 13 Nov 2009, 9:38, Reply)

no need to explain
although it is a shame to keep the young maiden in a state of quivering anticipation
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Fri 13 Nov 2009, 9:42, Reply)

no shag
but I did meet a b3tan :)
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 13 Nov 2009, 9:13, Reply)

to be fair to you monty
from that picture you showed us, she is hot. Most men would have done the same.

she also got you drunk and plied you with drugs. How could you not succumb to that?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 13 Nov 2009, 9:14, Reply)

EXACTLY
I'm a victim in all of this.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 13 Nov 2009, 9:17, Reply)

She sounds like the perfect woman
EXCEPT FOR THE FACT SHE'S BATSHIT CRAZY.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 13 Nov 2009, 9:19, Reply)

you know the rules
hot, clever or sane, can't have all three
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 13 Nov 2009, 9:22, Reply)

How about slightly ok looking, not stupid and sane?

( girlinthehole, Fri 13 Nov 2009, 9:24, Reply)

In that situation
they will be tolerably insane ;-)
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 13 Nov 2009, 9:32, Reply)

link to pic pls?
:D
( Peej, Fri 13 Nov 2009, 9:23, Reply)

Ahem


Now imagine a huge mountain of cocaine in front of her.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 13 Nov 2009, 9:25, Reply)

Well at least you'll finally be free of her when she's old and ugly.
IN 50 YEARS!!!
( girlinthehole, Fri 13 Nov 2009, 9:27, Reply)

Yeah thanks for that
The thought had occurred to me, once or twice.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 13 Nov 2009, 9:43, Reply)

Mental or not
I would!
( SpikeyPickle wishes he was mabazaritchie, Fri 13 Nov 2009, 10:10, Reply)

:)
I hereby find you, NOT GUILTY
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Fri 13 Nov 2009, 9:27, Reply)

I have prepared a statement
'I'm just glad that the judge saw sense and now I just want to get on with my life and put this whole terrible ordeal behind me. Justice has been done today. Thank you, no questions please'

*bundles into waiting car with lawyer*
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 13 Nov 2009, 9:30, Reply)

Until the next time.

( girlinthehole, Fri 13 Nov 2009, 9:31, Reply)

indeed
"If I have the pleasure of your company again Mr Boyce, you will have to produce SIGNIFICANTLY more gratuitous arty black and white photo's to secure your freedom. Let this be a warning"

Case dismissed
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Fri 13 Nov 2009, 9:36, Reply)

evil eyes
she might be hot but something about her screams "stay away". Got the look of someone who knows how good looking they are all too well.
(raymond "three griddle pans" luxury yacht lovin' the christmas action, Sat 14 Nov 2009, 14:43, Reply)

You dick,
I think this means you can't moan about her on here for two weeks.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 13 Nov 2009, 9:54, Reply)

I'd like to listen to her moaning ;0)

( SpikeyPickle wishes he was mabazaritchie, Fri 13 Nov 2009, 10:12, Reply)

'you never give me enough money'
'you're a shit dad and a loser'

that sort of thing?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 13 Nov 2009, 10:13, Reply)

Not quite
I think I'd be quite sad to be told that sort of thing.
( SpikeyPickle wishes he was mabazaritchie, Fri 13 Nov 2009, 10:19, Reply)

It's not great, old boy
Not great at all.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 13 Nov 2009, 10:20, Reply)

I imagine not
The missus once said I was a shit dad as a joke - she hasn't done that again as, although I knew she was joking, it did really hurt.

The Aussie-ex tells me I'm a shit dad sometimes but she's a bit mental (and I don't think she really means it to be fair)
( SpikeyPickle wishes he was mabazaritchie, Fri 13 Nov 2009, 10:33, Reply)

You tit.
That is all.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 13 Nov 2009, 9:59, Reply)

Did you see the pic above?
I calling this as fair. A decent meal, alcohol, charlie and a top looking wench? He lives my life (except my missus isn't mental)
( SpikeyPickle wishes he was mabazaritchie, Fri 13 Nov 2009, 10:11, Reply)

Yes she is!
And I admit, I don't blame him for doing it, I just can't see this going well in the long run.

Sorry mate.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 13 Nov 2009, 10:14, Reply)

Gay
Where's your sense of adventure?
( SpikeyPickle wishes he was mabazaritchie, Fri 13 Nov 2009, 10:19, Reply)

Last time you said that
I stopped farting, there was no friction left whatsoever, I sounded like a wind tunnel.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 13 Nov 2009, 10:28, Reply)

Full marks for the Helen Keller post btw

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 13 Nov 2009, 10:49, Reply)

Thank you!

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 13 Nov 2009, 10:57, Reply)

Don't praise him!
He is not worthy. A typical converation in real life goes like this:

Me: Fancy a few beers tomorrow night?
AA: No thanks, I staying in to watch DVDs with a man because I'm such a massive gayer!

He will be getting no praise from me.
( SpikeyPickle wishes he was mabazaritchie, Fri 13 Nov 2009, 11:07, Reply)

Typical?
I've done it once!

And I'm only staying in because I have no money! Stupid Halloween taking all my money!
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 13 Nov 2009, 11:16, Reply)

that does sound fucking gay
sorry.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 13 Nov 2009, 11:18, Reply)

Have you thought about chemical castration?
It might be the only way to prevent your damaging urges.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 13 Nov 2009, 10:14, Reply)

Is it expensive?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 13 Nov 2009, 10:16, Reply)

If you pretend to be a paedo you might get it for free

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 13 Nov 2009, 10:20, Reply)

'pretend'?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 13 Nov 2009, 10:24, Reply)

Totally gratis...

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 13 Nov 2009, 10:25, Reply)

Oh dear...
let me be the first to judge you harshly

*Judges harshly*
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Fri 13 Nov 2009, 12:25, Reply)

Oi! Get to the back of the queue!

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 13 Nov 2009, 12:33, Reply)

I hope you are at the front of that queue
*continues to judge harshly from the back of a queue that resembles Heathrow Terminal 5 check-in desk queue on the busiest day of the year with only one member of check-in staff available*
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Fri 13 Nov 2009, 12:42, Reply)

Not me.
I've given up shagging crazy women. My tolerance for them is gone. The second she starts getting mental I'll send her packing- the last few women in my life have taught me a lesson. Life is too short for drama.

Might be why I'm still single after nine years of divorce.
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Fri 13 Nov 2009, 14:26, Reply)