Ahhh.... bad experience?
I loved house-sharing a few years back, but I guess it depends on who your housemates are
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 16 Nov 2009, 15:52, 1 reply, 16 years ago)

Nothing worse than the average house-share experience (apart from a video cassette launched at my head)
But I'm just so much happier since I took a second job and kept the flat to myself.
I love my best mate but I couldn't live with her for too long. And some people seem really keen to have you as a surrogate relative/partner just because you live in the same house.
I prefer dancing round in my trolleys to checking cleaning rotas. I hope I never have to go back.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 16 Nov 2009, 15:56, Reply)

Yeah
Can't say I ever had a particularly bad experience with my housemates, they were all kinds of lovely, but there's nothing quite like dropping trough and curling one out as soon as you get through the door
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 16 Nov 2009, 15:57, Reply)

Indeed
Nobody to judge you...
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 16 Nov 2009, 16:01, Reply)

I love living on my own too
That feeling of locking the door when you get in is great, and going to bed knowing that nobody is going to stumble in drunk, turn the tv on, start cooking...

I never want to share EVER again.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Mon 16 Nov 2009, 16:02, Reply)

but who holds you when you cry at night?

( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 16 Nov 2009, 16:04, Reply)

*raises hand*

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 16 Nov 2009, 16:04, Reply)

Awwww....
but who's going to hold me? I feel so lonely getting into my big empty bed
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 16 Nov 2009, 16:05, Reply)

don't try and kid us
you sleep in a basket curled up with your nose against your bum
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 16 Nov 2009, 16:09, Reply)

Except when I'm lying in front of the door
dreaming about chasing internet tail
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 16 Nov 2009, 16:10, Reply)

and who's gonna drive you hooooooooooome...




...tonight?
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 16 Nov 2009, 16:10, Reply)

*cries*
That is such a sad song
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 16 Nov 2009, 16:11, Reply)

the little ting-a-ling bits are as sad as the lyrics
*goes and puts it on*
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 16 Nov 2009, 16:11, Reply)

I've got a lump in my throat now
somebody change the subject, hasn't anyone got AIDs or a dead relative I can mock? Please?
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 16 Nov 2009, 16:13, Reply)

I've got a dead nana
Is that any good?
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 16 Nov 2009, 16:16, Reply)

Nana like grandmother
or nana like banana?
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 16 Nov 2009, 16:16, Reply)

Grandmother
She wasn't one for fruit
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 16 Nov 2009, 16:19, Reply)

Cremated or buried?

( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 16 Nov 2009, 16:21, Reply)

Buried
In March.
She'll be useless by now.
EDIT: it was the beginning of April.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 16 Nov 2009, 16:23, Reply)

Not true
they put all sorts in there to keep 'em fresh for years, just in case they need to exhume the body. Where's she buried? I may need to pay the saucy old tart a visit
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 16 Nov 2009, 16:24, Reply)

Liverpool
She was well saucy, boozy, hard as nails, speaking voice like rusty knives, singing voice like an angel.
I've just described myself.
Shit.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 16 Nov 2009, 16:28, Reply)

It's alright though
I'd rather wait til you're cold
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 16 Nov 2009, 16:29, Reply)

Aww
Thankfully I have never had to flatshare, I have heard scary things and I have a book called 'I lick my cheese' which is a book of notes made by people who have flatshared - its very funny! :)
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Mon 16 Nov 2009, 16:28, Reply)

Hahaah I lick my cheese oh hahahaha
My uncle used to lick each of his roast potatoes to prevent Grange Hill banger-style theft at the table.

That has tickled me that has...
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 16 Nov 2009, 16:30, Reply)

Hehehe I used to do the same thing
so my brother didn't steal off my dinner plate. I don't care who you are, its never appropriate to take food off someone elses plate! IF YOU WANTED CHIPS YOU SHOULD HAVE BLOODY BROUGHT THEM!!

The book is rather funny - a good stocking filler! :)
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Mon 16 Nov 2009, 16:33, Reply)

You know what else is a good stocking filler?
Legs.

Preferably severed. I think my weekend happy has worn off :C
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 16 Nov 2009, 16:35, Reply)

Indeedy
Awww no more weekend happy for you... bloody Mondays!
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Mon 16 Nov 2009, 16:37, Reply)

Yeah
and I just saw your post up there^^ I've had no chocolate or sugar today, what is wrong with the world?!
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 16 Nov 2009, 16:39, Reply)

Its no longer filled with
rainbow sugar coma happy... its all cold and dark and dismal! Boooo!
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Mon 16 Nov 2009, 16:42, Reply)

I'm going to punch a kitten

( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 16 Nov 2009, 16:46, Reply)

I've already done this
I don't feel any better for it.
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Mon 16 Nov 2009, 16:48, Reply)

Alright
I'll try punching a pussy instead. I just hope I don't lose my hand
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 16 Nov 2009, 16:51, Reply)

bloody hell
that's a very unwomanly attitude you have there.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 16 Nov 2009, 16:38, Reply)

Meh
Its annoying. I like bad food but my stupid dieting friends always want what they're not allowed... 'Oh I'm on my points so I shouldn't'.

I don't understand the point in having these mystical 'food points'... does it not count if the food is stolen from someone else’s plate?

Anyone taking from my plate is liable to get a forking
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Mon 16 Nov 2009, 16:41, Reply)

that is how most women's minds work
if they are just pinching one or two then it doesn't count. similarly crumbs (as from a cake) don't count.

fortunately when my other half decided to lose some weight via weightwatchers she got stuck in and lost like 3 stone in a short space of time, rather than dithering and scoffing stuff when she shouldn't.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 16 Nov 2009, 16:44, Reply)

Well good for her! :)
That's the thing. If you're going to do it, great, crack on, but do it properly or what's the sodding point.
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Mon 16 Nov 2009, 16:46, Reply)

exactly
it was quite amusing, neither of us really noticed that we'd both been packing some extra weight until we saw some photos from my brother's wedding.

we were like "christ, when did we become fat fuckers?" (in my case I added the word again to the end) and set about it.

piece of piss.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 16 Nov 2009, 16:51, Reply)

Hehe
It is one of those things that creeps up on you. Thankfully I tend to notice if I put on even a tiny bit of weight and I can sort it out relatively easily. One day my body will decide to punish me for the misuse though... then I'll become a fat fucker!
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Mon 16 Nov 2009, 16:56, Reply)

that's the best way
not ending up a fat fucker, that's a bit rubbish
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 16 Nov 2009, 17:01, Reply)

Forking?
Go on, Flim. I like it when you talk dirty, tel me all about how you'll fork your friends
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 16 Nov 2009, 16:47, Reply)

Rudes
You know what I meant you silly!
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Mon 16 Nov 2009, 16:50, Reply)

Yeah
so how many prongs on this fork of yours, will you be sticking three or four in them?
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 16 Nov 2009, 16:51, Reply)

^this is the reason why there's not many women on the internet.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 16 Nov 2009, 16:54, Reply)

Yeah
it has nothing to do with their low IQs, or the fact that it's mostly for geeks with superiority complexes who can't get girlfriends
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 16 Nov 2009, 16:56, Reply)

The internet stopped being for geeks about the time AOL was popular.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 16 Nov 2009, 16:57, Reply)

You keep telling yourself that
but the only non-geek websites are the social networking ones, and they're for retards
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 16 Nov 2009, 16:58, Reply)

AOL IS AND WILL ALWAYS BE POPULAR!!!

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 16 Nov 2009, 17:00, Reply)

Not as popular as it was when Connie was in the advert

( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 16 Nov 2009, 17:01, Reply)

Hehehe geek!
S'alright though, I figure I'm a geek girl with a shopping addiction. Most of my girly friends think I'm a bit odd and that I know too much about films, weird music and comics... surely that’s the definition of a geek?
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Mon 16 Nov 2009, 17:02, Reply)

yeah
GEEK!
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 16 Nov 2009, 17:03, Reply)

*shrugs*
I don't mind :)
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Mon 16 Nov 2009, 17:05, Reply)

I was just going to say
"nothing wrong with that" but I couldn't allow myself to
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 16 Nov 2009, 17:06, Reply)

:-P

(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Mon 16 Nov 2009, 17:09, Reply)

;-)

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 16 Nov 2009, 17:20, Reply)

Hahaha
I suppose I did walk into it
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Mon 16 Nov 2009, 16:59, Reply)

But my replies didn't even make sense
I love that Chompy takes my posts so literally though, it's almost alleviating the fact that I'm bored shitless
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 16 Nov 2009, 17:04, Reply)

I wouldn't worry too much
few things do make sense on B3ta
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Mon 16 Nov 2009, 17:07, Reply)

You are right
of course
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 16 Nov 2009, 17:12, Reply)

Hahahaha
I rest my case
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Mon 16 Nov 2009, 17:14, Reply)

hahahahaha

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 16 Nov 2009, 17:20, Reply)

I think my retinas are fucked

( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 16 Nov 2009, 17:23, Reply)

from what?

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 16 Nov 2009, 17:24, Reply)

Staring at a screen all day
all the white bits are starting to look like a hazy yellow
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 16 Nov 2009, 17:25, Reply)

I know what you mean
the lights in my office are awful, and when it's dark outside they really fuck with your eyes
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 16 Nov 2009, 17:27, Reply)

I think it's one of those images that gets stuck on your retina
If you stare at something white all day, eventually it burns itself on their permanently and fucks everything else
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 16 Nov 2009, 17:30, Reply)