Hey look everyone a link
news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/wales/8364393.stm

What lies would you make up to get away with murder/who would you kill?
(PsychoChomp, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 16:55, 46 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

That is weird
Although I have been known to lash out in my sleep... not murdered anyone yet though...

*shifty eyes*
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Tue 17 Nov 2009, 16:58, Reply)

I've woken up to find someone looking over me
and punched them as hard as I could in the face, only to then realise that I was dreaming the face and find that it was in fact a wall.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 16:59, Reply)

Ouch!
When I was a kid I dreamt that I had gotten the hamster out of its cage and had it on my bed and then it fell off the bed… I woke up at this point, ran across the bedroom, turned on the light, waking my sister shouting ‘Ahhhh the hamster, I’ve lost the hamster’… then I realised it was a dream, turned off the light and shuffled embarrassed back into bed.
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Tue 17 Nov 2009, 17:03, Reply)

I tend to spasm ocasionally,
usually when I dream of falling or something.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 17:00, Reply)

this is quite common
particularly when dropping off to sleep
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 17:02, Reply)

The spasm/grab response stopped us falling out of trees when we lived in them.
possibly not true
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 17:05, Reply)

Kerry Katona
"I didn't think she was human"
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 16:58, Reply)

You wouldn't be able to fit your hands round her fat neck

(PsychoChomp, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 16:59, Reply)

I'd give it a damn good try

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 17:04, Reply)

Could I help?

(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Tue 17 Nov 2009, 17:06, Reply)

the more the merrier

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 17:06, Reply)

Huzah!
I could pelt her with Iceland meal deals!
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Tue 17 Nov 2009, 17:07, Reply)

I
would prefer hitting her with hammers, or axes.

Just to make sure
(Halfy By light alone, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 17:10, Reply)

I would love to hit Kerry Katona with a hammer
that would be one of the greatest pleasures a man could know.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 17:10, Reply)

*ahem*
man anyone
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Tue 17 Nov 2009, 17:12, Reply)

apologies
*doffs cap*
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 17:13, Reply)

No problem

(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Tue 17 Nov 2009, 17:17, Reply)

how has the sugar intake been today?
adequate?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 17:18, Reply)

Not too bad thanks
Not at my usual level, but I'm having pasta bake for tea tonight so its smiles all round today! :)
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Tue 17 Nov 2009, 17:22, Reply)

I could do that
after pelting her with the Iceland products
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Tue 17 Nov 2009, 17:11, Reply)

or
you could glue some iceland product to a hammer and combine the two?
(Halfy By light alone, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 17:26, Reply)

Now you're talking

(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Tue 17 Nov 2009, 17:27, Reply)

you could possibly construct
a large bludgeoning type instrument made entirely out of shit frozen food?
(Halfy By light alone, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 17:32, Reply)

that is not funny
Not remotely, it is terrible and quite sad for all involved

I think this weeks qotw has made me all over sensitive

edit: Paris Hilton, and besides any reason to kill her, truth or lie would be fine
(Halfy By light alone, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 17:02, Reply)

Cheer up mate,
they were welsh.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 17:03, Reply)

hahahaha
see That is funny
(Halfy By light alone, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 17:07, Reply)

*click*

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 17:14, Reply)

Michael McIntyre
I would claim that I was having a dream where I was watching some massive bell-end on tv and in a fit of rage I drove to his house, stabbed him 47 times in the face, put his body into the boot of his car, drove to the nearest cliff, set the car on fire and pushed it off the edge.

Then I woke up and to my amazement I had actually done it. There isn't a court in the land who would convict me.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 17:14, Reply)

If you need a character witness, mate.....

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 17:14, Reply)

Yes please
I also intend on having a dream about killing a fat unfunny cunt. When I wake up Chris Moyles will most probably be dead.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 17:18, Reply)

he seemed funny the first couple of times I saw him on tv
the skipping and swinging your arms thing is good, because it's true, but he is so annoying, and on everything.

he's not foul enough either.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 17:18, Reply)

It's the laughing at his own jokes that is the decider.
He's utterly convinced of his own hilarity and therefore needs taking down a peg or two. A drill to the kneecaps should suffice.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 17:21, Reply)

He's like the posh kid at school trying to tell a joke

( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 17:25, Reply)

I'll see your Michael McIntyre
and I'll raise you Jim Davidson
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Tue 17 Nov 2009, 17:20, Reply)

I prefer him to McIntyre
but then I prefer Pol Pot to McIntyre.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 17:21, Reply)

Aww
Poor MM
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Tue 17 Nov 2009, 17:27, Reply)

Will you need to make up some nonsense for killing Davidson?
I doubt it would even make it to court...YOU WOULD GET A MEDAL
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 17:22, Reply)

Nah
I'd just walk right up to him and hit him in the face with a brick. I figure the jury would be on my side.
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Tue 17 Nov 2009, 17:26, Reply)

His mate Chalky wouldn't like that

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 17:27, Reply)

Fuck 'em

(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Tue 17 Nov 2009, 17:27, Reply)

RACIST

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 17:28, Reply)

Fuck you too
No one stands in the way of my Davidson murder
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Tue 17 Nov 2009, 17:28, Reply)

I say, old gel
No need for that, what?

*puffs on pipe*
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 17:29, Reply)

Meh
Soz and all that jazz innit

I'm off home now, we'll discuss this further at a later date... until then

BOOOO-YAH!
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Tue 17 Nov 2009, 17:32, Reply)

I don't understand the point of telling a jury that it's "highly unusual"
Most jury people on duety probably have never been in a trial before, so any case would be unusual for them.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 17:47, Reply)