ey-oop
My eyes, my poor eyes. Unfortunately i had to spoon out both after seeing that tired old tittybag. Sweet jesus, now i know what my granny would look like naked.

But just imagine getting ALL the sex you could possibly ever want from that, all your fantasies condensed into one, slightly used, 300+ careful owners ex-model. Got the horn here, but i think it's just a side effect of my eyes being scooped out.

And doesn't captain saggy jowls look like a really haggard Charlie Boorman
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Tue 8 Dec 2009, 15:16, 1 reply, 16 years ago)

maybe he could work that into his edgy standup?
Or add lookalike work to his amazing cv?

WHAT A GIT
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 8 Dec 2009, 15:22, Reply)

Monty, if you had a beautiful ex-model girlfriend/wife
you could also attain that much sought after 'edginess' to your stand up routine...but i doubt neither you or I could organise AND headline a festival though. Come on, lets keep our feet firmly on the ground here, unless we are flying helicopters of course.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Tue 8 Dec 2009, 15:26, Reply)

A look at those mouldy old baps every morning
would remove any sense of humour I might have, before the day had properly begun - it would take a herculean effort to ever crack even a tiny smile - let alone deliver an edgy standup routine.

I think the poor fellow is to be applauded for putting on such a brave, albeit haggard, face.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 8 Dec 2009, 15:36, Reply)

It may have been driving all those fast cars
that made him go all 'Droopy Dog', and obviously the marathon sex sessions with his ex-model girlfriend/wife/sister/pet.

I see she sits for private srtists, is that another of saying she is being pimped out by Captain Leathery Chops?
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Tue 8 Dec 2009, 15:43, Reply)

maybe the deafening applause
at his miserable Pink Floyd tribute shows has caused his facial muscles to collapse?

WE JUST DON'T KNOW.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 8 Dec 2009, 15:46, Reply)

With your lifestyle, you'll look like that one day. *laughs*

( girlinthehole, Tue 8 Dec 2009, 15:48, Reply)

with my lifestyle, I'll be fucking DEAD
and good riddance to me. I never liked me anyway, smartarse pedantic cunt...
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 8 Dec 2009, 15:51, Reply)

Aw! you'll be missed.
You smartarse, pedantic cunt you.
( girlinthehole, Tue 8 Dec 2009, 15:56, Reply)

you developing a soft spot for our monty?
will he have to vie with chompy for your affections?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 8 Dec 2009, 16:00, Reply)

it was the Keats earlier
They FACKIN LOVE IT, they do
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 8 Dec 2009, 16:05, Reply)

I think BGB could 'entertain' both of them
and still have the energy to fix her xpelair
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Tue 8 Dec 2009, 16:06, Reply)

probably right
I bet she could suck a golf ball through a garden hose
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 8 Dec 2009, 16:08, Reply)

In the interests of science
I am prepared to put myself forward as a guinea pig, if you will, to test this theory. It's my selfless quest for knowledge, donchaknow.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 8 Dec 2009, 16:11, Reply)

are you a golf ball?
or a garden hose?

if not then I fail to see how that will work
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 8 Dec 2009, 16:14, Reply)

well, silhouetted,
it looks a bit like the former, stuck on the end of the latter...
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 8 Dec 2009, 16:21, Reply)

at least he won't be such an insufferably smug cunt about it

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 8 Dec 2009, 15:52, Reply)

Let's ask the cunt

(Cancer Joy was short lived, Tue 8 Dec 2009, 15:49, Reply)