Noms
I've just dug all the meat from out of a lobster for a salad. It better be worth the fucking effort.

It didn't help the fact that the only thing I had to crack the claws was a rolling-pin
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 14:38, 24 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Lobster?
Giant fucking acquatic cockroaches.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 14:41, Reply)

you forgot the word "delicious" right there

( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 14:43, Reply)

^totally this

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 14:45, Reply)

the claw-meat
is a lot nicer than the tail which just tastes like a huge king prawn. Which are much cheaper and a lot less arseing about.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 14:50, Reply)

very true
the claw meat is best
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 15:08, Reply)

Fucking right

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 14:46, Reply)

It's delicious in the same way that being punched in the balls is erotic
I'm not going to judge if that's your thing, but you're clearly a mental.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 14:47, Reply)

I'm not taking anything you lot have to say seriously
you drink tea in the summer
what sort of nancy does that?
( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 15:19, Reply)

what happened Kristine?
you used to be cool
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 15:20, Reply)

I still am, you guys are just lame
pshaw
( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 15:23, Reply)

i haven't ever tried lobster
Do you think the £5 ones out of Aldi would be any good?
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 15:06, Reply)

It's lovely
I'd definitely give a £5 lobster a whirl. Let's face it, what have you got to lose?

A fiver, obviously, but you know what I mean.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 15:08, Reply)

The stuff from Aldi can be,
depending on what you buy, pretty high quality. Their Black Forest Ham is brilliant value for £2.30 a pack.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 15:10, Reply)

I've tried them
they are actually not bad. quite small, and a lot of faffing around though. Good for an impressive dish, but for taste and speed I'd go for king prawns
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 15:09, Reply)

Good man
I shall get one, and even if i freak the kids out with it for a bit and end up not liking it, then it will still have provided me with entertainment, and it's life won't have been completely in vain.

Last week in Sainsbo's the fish counter had a load of stuff reduced, with raw, shelled king prawns 10p for 100gr. I bought all that they had, 4 tubs worth, total cost 50p. Went back home and we prepared, cooked and ate the fucking lot with sweet chilli and satay dips.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 15:15, Reply)

takes a fucking age to thaw I warn you
because they come frozen in a tube of salt water. weird as hell. kind of looks like a giant, lobster-filled dildo.

that prawn experience sounds awesome
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 15:19, Reply)

Lobster filled dildo, hmmmm
There's an Xmas gift sorted right there!

Yes the prawns were over the top, as usually you get some, not too many. This time we must have had about 70, even so, when they were gone, i could probably have choked down another dozen or so. the warm satay sauce was good enough to drink....... and at the end, when all the prawn loveliness was gone, I did, like a fat wobbler.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 15:28, Reply)

excellent fat-bloking there

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 15:34, Reply)

I've seen them in Asda for a £4.
in the freezer near the fish counter.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 15:38, Reply)

Living in Cornwall has its advantages
and one is our neighbour the fisherman will sometimes bring some over to us. He always charges us 50p each saying something about money needing to legally change hands for lobster but I have no idea what he's on about. I just love cheap lobster!
( Peej, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 15:40, Reply)

arsehole
my mate has relatives in Scilly, and they eat lobster practically non-stop as far as I can tell.

the same guy's parents have a strawberry and asparagus farm. fucking awesome.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 15:49, Reply)

You can't go around calling people arsehole on the internet!
*flounces*
( Peej, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 16:19, Reply)

Lobster Death
Fellow b3tan Kip and I once tried to make lobster for dinner, which was all well and good except for the killing of the damn thing. It just would not die! We stabbed it through the back of its head with the knife and did the wiggling around thing but the poor bastard just kept moving its claws and shuffling around the chopping board. It oozed weird lobster juice and as we'd cut its face in half it was doing that weird jaw snappy thing like the bad guy out of Blade II. It was horrific. We eventually gave in and threw it in the pot, hoping that the heat combined with the really disfiguring facial injury would finish it off. Ten minutes later we lifted the pot lid and it was still moving.

I swear the whole time I could hear it screaming.

It was fucking delicious though.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 16:06, Reply)

I love lobster!
did you not have scissors? They work well to open up lobster.
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 16:38, Reply)