Christmassy moral dilemma
Normally I do not go overboard but ensure that immediate family are catered for in the Christmas present stakes. This year, however, owing to getting married, and an uncharacteristic (for me) credit card debt from last year, I suggested a pact with my family this year of only buying for each other's kids and not my Dad / siblings. I suggested this also because my brother's girlfriend isn't working just now and they have an overpriced rent and the demands of his ex girlfriend (and mother of his child's) general fuckwittery to contend with. And my sister had a hip replacement recently and is also not working at the moment, so things are a bit tight there. My Dad, also, is not in the rudest of health finance wise and didn't manage to get anyone anything last year.

So I discussed this with the family and they all agreed. Except I went to do the Santa run last night, and was given presents by my Dad, for me, the missus, and Sweary Junior.

Should I feel compromised by this, and get him something in return, or shrug it off and think, "Well, we agreed not to buy for each other weeks ago".

I had invited him down for Christmas dinner which he accepted initially and then decided he'd rather spend Christmas day on his own as "he needs to get used to being on his own" (him and his money thieving waste of space wife seperated earlier this year). So I feel a bit crappy about him being on his own this year anyway.

Your pixellated advice please. Or you could just tell al what a cocksucking, bullying cunt he is. He'd like that.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Sun 13 Dec 2009, 20:09, 17 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

If he lives close by and won't come over for Xmas,
and if you do feel compromised and that you should get him something, maybe take him a basket with mince pies, Christmas pud, a turkey or ham - that kind of thing.
then he's still gonna get a Christmas dinner, and it's a useful present.
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Sun 13 Dec 2009, 20:14, Reply)

He lives 50 miles away
I was going to go collect him on Christmas day and take him back on Boxing day.

But not a bad suggestion.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Sun 13 Dec 2009, 20:16, Reply)

I agree with the hamper type idea, or you could call him on Christmas morning and see how he's doing and go collect him if he wants you to

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Sun 13 Dec 2009, 20:23, Reply)

The only trouble with the former idea
as I've just remembered, is I'm having surgery on my right index finger this week and have already been told I won't be able to drive for a bit.

I could order him one though and get it delivered. That may be an option.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Sun 13 Dec 2009, 20:32, Reply)

Good luck with the surgery.
Another option, maybe give SwearyJr $10 (sorry, no pound sign) or whatever and have him pick out a present himself. That way, you're not obligated to get him anything, but he'd probably like it if the little 'un made an effort.
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Sun 13 Dec 2009, 20:35, Reply)

That's an idea...
Thanks.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Sun 13 Dec 2009, 20:37, Reply)

It'll be double-fair on christmas day, and to do 50 miles, you're looking at near-on £200 in total.
Do you have any closer family or mates of his you could get to visit him?
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sun 13 Dec 2009, 20:49, Reply)

My immediate family
all live in the same town and it's likely he will visit them on Christmas day. He just doesn't seem to want to do the family thing this year dinner-wise.

He was very quiet last night though. Not his usual self at all.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Sun 13 Dec 2009, 20:52, Reply)

Don't let him spend the day on his own.

( thealternativefact, Sun 13 Dec 2009, 21:01, Reply)

^this^
I am faced with the prospect of spending Christmas alone this year, and I'm not looking forward to it.
However, I'm too much of a stubborn cow to ask any of my friends if I can join them. I have found out that one of the local bars will be open, and I know a few people there so all of us lonely types will probably do a pot luck.
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Sun 13 Dec 2009, 21:06, Reply)

Some people sometimes like to be miserable.
Gives them time to think and stuff, he might actually prefer to be alone this year.

Personally, if I didn't know it would hurt others, I'd be the same this year.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sun 13 Dec 2009, 21:04, Reply)

Maybe you could use that to convince him to come out?
"I just want to be with my dad, please do this for me dad", it'll force him into it and he'll be cool once he's with you.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sun 13 Dec 2009, 21:05, Reply)

If he just fancied being on his own for the day, then fair enough.
But it might be more complicated than that.
( thealternativefact, Sun 13 Dec 2009, 21:05, Reply)

I did try last night to get him to come down.
And he was pretty adamant about not wanting to. So i'll leave it at that. I wouldn't want him to feel railroaded into something he doesn't want to do.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Sun 13 Dec 2009, 21:14, Reply)

That's fair enough.
And if he's got other family/friends he can visit, he'll probably be ok.

I just still have nightmares about the chick upstairs and what she did on Thanksgiving *shudders*.
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Sun 13 Dec 2009, 21:16, Reply)

He might of just forgot you agreed not to buy for each other.
Just mention it and say you haven't got him anything but get a token gift anyway.



And Woo! were going on holiday : )
( girlinthehole, Sun 13 Dec 2009, 20:55, Reply)

Yeahahknow!
I is very excite!
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Sun 13 Dec 2009, 20:57, Reply)