that sounds delicious. I'm fucking starving now
When I used to hang about with crusty traveller types I knew a few people who actually lived in ambulances so I've been in several, but never as a 'customer'.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 14 Dec 2009, 12:00, 3 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

you're going home in a fucking ambulance sunshine!
I'm going home with my gf and my massive new tv as I have decided to take the next 2.5 days off work.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 14 Dec 2009, 12:02, Reply)

My smugness detector has just exploded

(Cancer Joy was short lived, Mon 14 Dec 2009, 12:04, Reply)

too fucking right
got to come in here tomorrow morning to see about my chartership stuff which is an arse, but other than that. get to fuck about and watch the new tv. in my pants
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 14 Dec 2009, 12:11, Reply)

Good lad. Enjoy!

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 14 Dec 2009, 12:13, Reply)

yeah, my mental ex used to drive an old Bedford ambulance.
The engine used to catch fire on a regular basis so he upgraded to an ex-post office van.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 14 Dec 2009, 12:02, Reply)

Odd family tale number 2:
My uncle Brian had a mobile shop that used to be a Telecom van (bright yellow, with the Telecom logo barely painted over.)
The cab of said vehicle was very rusty. One day, a 10-year-old Roota climbed into the cabin, put her foot through the rusty floor, landed foofoo-first onto the frame, and promptly passed out.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 14 Dec 2009, 12:06, Reply)

You should write a book.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 14 Dec 2009, 12:17, Reply)

Don't you mock my pointless anecdotes
I'll marmalise you and wrap you in tinsel
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 14 Dec 2009, 12:18, Reply)

Kinky.
No, I was being quite serious. Maybe a blog. But your stories are great.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 14 Dec 2009, 12:19, Reply)

Word on the street is that you have a blog...
I would have to do it anonymously or my family would disown me.
Especially the criminal ones.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 14 Dec 2009, 12:22, Reply)

you have an innate ability to make tales of ordinary life
both engaging and frequently hilarious. B3ta's Alan Bennett, only less wet and weedy.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 14 Dec 2009, 12:21, Reply)

Someone else could tell it funnier
But it's all completely true.
Maybe everyone's life is as Alan Bennett as mine but they just don't see it that way.
I'm SO wet and weedy!!
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 14 Dec 2009, 12:23, Reply)

Don't be so modest

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 14 Dec 2009, 12:33, Reply)

Honestly
I'm weeping and using an eight-day-old kitten to soak up my tears right now as I type.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 14 Dec 2009, 12:35, Reply)

Hahaha oh dear, not a little 'kittum'?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 14 Dec 2009, 12:38, Reply)

A total kittum
and a Victoria sponge.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 14 Dec 2009, 12:40, Reply)

Keep taking shots at Dylan mate...
...and you may well be taking a trip in one.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Mon 14 Dec 2009, 12:03, Reply)

hahaha no problem
He has a face like a gibbon's scrotum and a voice to match.

*rolls up sleeves and 'puts 'em up'*

EDIT: actually he looks like Lindow Man
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 14 Dec 2009, 12:15, Reply)

Bounder! Cad!
Choose your weapon Sir.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Mon 14 Dec 2009, 12:20, Reply)

I choose 'Rainy Day Women 12 & 35' or whatever it's called.
I won't hit you with it - just play it to you. That should do it.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 14 Dec 2009, 12:22, Reply)

Hahaha! You total and utter cunt.
I hate that song and always hit 'skip track' when I play Blonde on Blonde; so well played Monty.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Mon 14 Dec 2009, 12:25, Reply)

GOTCHA

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 14 Dec 2009, 12:31, Reply)