moar griddles
Right, all your griddle talk made me get mine out, as they say. I mixed the leftover mashed potatoes with enough plain flour to make a non-sicky dough then flattened it into wee rounds and cooked it on a dry griddle. Result: Norn Iron's best food EVAR - potato bread. Eat hot with loads of butter and maybe a nice sharp cheddar. It has the smell of home (warm potatoes rather than tractors and fertiliser bombs).

Question: have you ever been in an ambulance? (I had my first trip in one last Thursday at 2am.)
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 14 Dec 2009, 11:49, 95 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

The food sounds great
but no, I have never been in an ambulance.

Nor indeed have I ever been in hospital for anything other than an outpatient appointment. I consider myself very fortunate in this, and hope that the situation continues unchanged for quite some time.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 14 Dec 2009, 11:51, Reply)

Did you throw Catface down the stairs
and then go along with him in the ambulance constantly saying, he's so clumsy, he walked into a door, didn't you love, didn't you!
(Bazongaloid, Mon 14 Dec 2009, 11:51, Reply)

He DID walk into a door.
He's learned his lesson though.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 14 Dec 2009, 11:53, Reply)

The lesson being
always to open doors before walking through?
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 14 Dec 2009, 11:54, Reply)

No the lesson being
whatever crackface says, that's what your opinion is too.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 14 Dec 2009, 11:55, Reply)

*nods and winks*

( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 14 Dec 2009, 11:58, Reply)

I'm geuessing potato bread is what we call potato cakes then
And they're fucking gorgeous.
I may well make some tomorrow (but not in a griddle pan as I don't have one yet.)

I've been in an ambulance as a result of somebody else's emergency, but not my own.
What was up with you?
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 14 Dec 2009, 11:52, Reply)

In Scotland
we call them tattie scones.

And very nice they are too.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 14 Dec 2009, 11:54, Reply)

*giggles*
I might start using that term.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 14 Dec 2009, 11:55, Reply)

Tottie Scones - Food of Kings
No breakfast is complete without them.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Mon 14 Dec 2009, 11:55, Reply)

aye,
also good as the main bready constituent of an Ulster fry. (Soda farls also necessary.)
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 14 Dec 2009, 12:01, Reply)

Soda farls
That'll be like bannocks then?
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 14 Dec 2009, 12:05, Reply)

Why do you scottish people have to make everything sound rude!

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 14 Dec 2009, 12:07, Reply)

soda farl
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 14 Dec 2009, 12:07, Reply)

As I suspected -
Bannocks.

Hmm, I suppose that does sound a bit rude!

*giggles like a schoolboy*
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 14 Dec 2009, 12:10, Reply)

ach, a wee bit of haemorrhaging.
Stopped of its own accord but I did get to spend 5 hours in A&E with drunk, sick mental people (of which, for a change, I was not one).
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 14 Dec 2009, 11:57, Reply)

You're nails, girl! Hope you're ok now.
Oh, and Chickenlady reckons you and I should meet and trade bonkers family stories.
I think that's what she said. I was out-of-control-rotten at the time.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 14 Dec 2009, 11:59, Reply)

sounds like a great plan!

( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 14 Dec 2009, 12:00, Reply)

was round at my parent's yesterday
and caught a glimpse of the griddle pan that will be on its way to me at christmas.

I had to george foreman my steak last night. just wasn't the same :-/
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 14 Dec 2009, 11:55, Reply)

Is it just the ridges?
Is that what's so special about griddle pans, rather than a frying pan?
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 14 Dec 2009, 11:56, Reply)

my griddle pan has a smooth side
and a ridged side (for your pleasure).
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 14 Dec 2009, 11:57, Reply)

the ridges are a big part
also that you can get them insanely hot without fucking them up
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 14 Dec 2009, 11:58, Reply)

I have been in an ambulance
after I covered my face in searing-hot oil in an extravagant 4am drunken bacon-frying mishap.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 14 Dec 2009, 11:57, Reply)

what did you do, fall onto the frying pan?

( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 14 Dec 2009, 11:58, Reply)

I reckon he was loving the aromas so much
that he tipped the contents of the pan onto his face.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 14 Dec 2009, 12:00, Reply)

This is almost what happened.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 14 Dec 2009, 12:00, Reply)

I was pretending to be Ainslie Harriott
flicking my wrist and tossing my bacon in the pan. Showing off, basically, although everyone else had gone to bed.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 14 Dec 2009, 12:00, Reply)

You wanked in a pan?
I know there's a recession on, but really - sunflower oil isn't that expensive.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 14 Dec 2009, 12:06, Reply)

hehe tossing my bacon....

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 14 Dec 2009, 12:10, Reply)

Hahaha excellent

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 14 Dec 2009, 12:12, Reply)

For some reason
I'm imagining you trying to use your face as a frying pan. I assume this is not how it happened, but it sure makes for a funny mental image.
(wehttamman via B3ta for microwave, Mon 14 Dec 2009, 12:00, Reply)

that sounds delicious. I'm fucking starving now
When I used to hang about with crusty traveller types I knew a few people who actually lived in ambulances so I've been in several, but never as a 'customer'.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 14 Dec 2009, 12:00, Reply)

you're going home in a fucking ambulance sunshine!
I'm going home with my gf and my massive new tv as I have decided to take the next 2.5 days off work.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 14 Dec 2009, 12:02, Reply)

My smugness detector has just exploded

(Cancer Joy was short lived, Mon 14 Dec 2009, 12:04, Reply)

too fucking right
got to come in here tomorrow morning to see about my chartership stuff which is an arse, but other than that. get to fuck about and watch the new tv. in my pants
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 14 Dec 2009, 12:11, Reply)

Good lad. Enjoy!

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 14 Dec 2009, 12:13, Reply)

yeah, my mental ex used to drive an old Bedford ambulance.
The engine used to catch fire on a regular basis so he upgraded to an ex-post office van.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 14 Dec 2009, 12:02, Reply)

Odd family tale number 2:
My uncle Brian had a mobile shop that used to be a Telecom van (bright yellow, with the Telecom logo barely painted over.)
The cab of said vehicle was very rusty. One day, a 10-year-old Roota climbed into the cabin, put her foot through the rusty floor, landed foofoo-first onto the frame, and promptly passed out.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 14 Dec 2009, 12:06, Reply)

You should write a book.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 14 Dec 2009, 12:17, Reply)

Don't you mock my pointless anecdotes
I'll marmalise you and wrap you in tinsel
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 14 Dec 2009, 12:18, Reply)

Kinky.
No, I was being quite serious. Maybe a blog. But your stories are great.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 14 Dec 2009, 12:19, Reply)

Word on the street is that you have a blog...
I would have to do it anonymously or my family would disown me.
Especially the criminal ones.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 14 Dec 2009, 12:22, Reply)

you have an innate ability to make tales of ordinary life
both engaging and frequently hilarious. B3ta's Alan Bennett, only less wet and weedy.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 14 Dec 2009, 12:21, Reply)

Someone else could tell it funnier
But it's all completely true.
Maybe everyone's life is as Alan Bennett as mine but they just don't see it that way.
I'm SO wet and weedy!!
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 14 Dec 2009, 12:23, Reply)

Don't be so modest

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 14 Dec 2009, 12:33, Reply)

Honestly
I'm weeping and using an eight-day-old kitten to soak up my tears right now as I type.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 14 Dec 2009, 12:35, Reply)

Hahaha oh dear, not a little 'kittum'?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 14 Dec 2009, 12:38, Reply)

A total kittum
and a Victoria sponge.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 14 Dec 2009, 12:40, Reply)

Keep taking shots at Dylan mate...
...and you may well be taking a trip in one.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Mon 14 Dec 2009, 12:03, Reply)

hahaha no problem
He has a face like a gibbon's scrotum and a voice to match.

*rolls up sleeves and 'puts 'em up'*

EDIT: actually he looks like Lindow Man
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 14 Dec 2009, 12:15, Reply)

Bounder! Cad!
Choose your weapon Sir.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Mon 14 Dec 2009, 12:20, Reply)

I choose 'Rainy Day Women 12 & 35' or whatever it's called.
I won't hit you with it - just play it to you. That should do it.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 14 Dec 2009, 12:22, Reply)

Hahaha! You total and utter cunt.
I hate that song and always hit 'skip track' when I play Blonde on Blonde; so well played Monty.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Mon 14 Dec 2009, 12:25, Reply)

GOTCHA

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 14 Dec 2009, 12:31, Reply)

Crackers....
...is this also known as 'Farl'?
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Mon 14 Dec 2009, 12:05, Reply)

Ah no, it is a food to be eaten alongside the farl.
Potato bread is, however, also known as fadge.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 14 Dec 2009, 12:09, Reply)

That is perfect!
A pun-monster could run with that for days.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Mon 14 Dec 2009, 12:10, Reply)

Stop this celtic pornification of food!

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 14 Dec 2009, 12:10, Reply)

You should taste my white pudding!

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Mon 14 Dec 2009, 12:11, Reply)

Would you like some of my skirlie?
Before I give you a helping of cranachan.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 14 Dec 2009, 12:12, Reply)

Seriously.
All we have is scouse and pobs.
We don't do rude with our food.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 14 Dec 2009, 12:13, Reply)

And in Scotland
a griddle is known as a girdle.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 14 Dec 2009, 12:12, Reply)

Best accompanied by a big sausage or two.
(But then, isn't everything?)
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 14 Dec 2009, 12:13, Reply)

Sounds like
my bannocks would complement your fadge nicely!
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 14 Dec 2009, 12:13, Reply)

My plans for the day are now for all purposes and intents shot to shit, so I shall stay and play a while on here
I've got some bacon and mashed potato going on the griddler and the flat smells less of bleach and other assorted chemicals that my tidy flatmate likes to use to deter my messy flatmate from touching things.

I've been in an ambulance a few times. Most memorable was the time I was in school, tried to high jump the tennis net, missed and landed on my kneecap, shattered it and had an asthma attack. Yes I am a massive spastic.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 14 Dec 2009, 12:10, Reply)

Did they put the sirens on for that?
I'm disappointed by the lack of sirens - I wasn't emergency enough.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 14 Dec 2009, 12:12, Reply)

They arrived with sirens and lights agogo, but switched them off once I was in the back. I was really quite disappointed.

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 14 Dec 2009, 12:13, Reply)

Are your plans shot to shit because you're a massive spastic
Or because of circumstances beyond your control?
Either way, enjoy it.
(Do you have Gizmond back?)
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 14 Dec 2009, 12:12, Reply)

Circumstances beyond my control :(
Nope, might get him this evening, but if not it'll be tomorrow now.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 14 Dec 2009, 12:14, Reply)

Aw dude
That sucks.
Oh, and if you don't want your face ripped off, get him tonight.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 14 Dec 2009, 12:15, Reply)

I've been in an ambulance!
I cracked the back of my head open and they put a dressing on it and then wrapped a bandage around my head so that I looked like Pudsy. My sympathetic friend riding in the ambulance only stopped laughing long enough to take a picture. Then when my boyfriend arrived at the hospital he said I looked like a Japanese Kamikaze warrior and wanted to draw a red circle on the bandage.

Bastards.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 14 Dec 2009, 12:19, Reply)

I can't get past Pudsey
I just want to hug you.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 14 Dec 2009, 12:24, Reply)

I was an angry Pudsey
the one who drinks all the free champagne at the after party and then turns over tables when it runs out and calls Lenny an N word.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 14 Dec 2009, 12:33, Reply)

Now I fancy you, Puds...

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 14 Dec 2009, 12:36, Reply)

haha
I think the ambulance guys were quite pleased because the cause of my head cracking was falling off my pole in pole fitness class so they got to come into the studio and see all the pole dancers.

He told me my pulse was like a swinging brick. Apparently that's a good thing!
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 14 Dec 2009, 12:39, Reply)

I read that as 'swinging cock'
I really ought to go and do some knitting or something.
I wanted to learn that pole-ness, but I was too intimidated worrying what the other people in the class would be like.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 14 Dec 2009, 12:42, Reply)

Everyone I've learned with
are there for the exercise rather than the sluttiness so we all get on. I don't really like the stripper side of it so I avoided any places that taught lapdancing as well, the place I go is all about the acrobatics. I teach it in Manchester but that's a bit of a trek for you!
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 14 Dec 2009, 14:48, Reply)

Ambulance ride?
Oh yes. After knocking myself unconscious on the bathroom wall at 8.30 pm at my own house warming party.

Woke up in hospital 3 hours later having had my stomach pumped. Would. Not. Recommend.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 14 Dec 2009, 12:25, Reply)

Why did they pump your stomach?

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 14 Dec 2009, 12:26, Reply)

Because I'd been on the ale since 9am I'd imagine.
I never though to ask them at the time. When i was discharged and got back to the party, I cracked another can open.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 14 Dec 2009, 12:28, Reply)

You absolute dog!

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 14 Dec 2009, 12:29, Reply)

Hey, I'm northern.
Got a reputation to uphold, you know.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 14 Dec 2009, 12:33, Reply)

I'd love to be hardcore
I'm just a shambles.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 14 Dec 2009, 12:36, Reply)

^ PUNK ROCK
Good work there mate. Integrity, that's called.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 14 Dec 2009, 12:32, Reply)

Oddly enough
I didn't make it to college the next day.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 14 Dec 2009, 12:35, Reply)

Oh - in that case you are a right ponce.

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Mon 14 Dec 2009, 12:45, Reply)

Totally been exposed.
Thank you, Tuggers. Now the internet will know that I am, in fact, a soft shandy drinking sham, who never goes out without a coat of some kind, and my personal details attached to a chain around my neck in case I get lost.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 14 Dec 2009, 12:52, Reply)

Yes several times
My brother is Epileptic. When he has a fit with me I make him comfortable wait until he comes round then put him to bed. When he has a fit in the street people panic and call an ambulance. Several times i have been phoned, got there before them and then had the ride to hospital despite me telling them its really not necessary. He just finds it very embarrasing as he has then all the time, sometimes alone and he has never actually needed hospital treatment. Its not their fault though, they aren't to know.
( Peej, Mon 14 Dec 2009, 12:30, Reply)

You should put him in a bath full of water.
Then chuck your washing in.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 14 Dec 2009, 12:34, Reply)

or add hot water and vegetables
Then you can call him Stu.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Mon 14 Dec 2009, 12:46, Reply)

He'd stretch it thrashing about
and he doesn't separate colours or use fabric softener. He'd probably choke on a sock.
( Peej, Mon 14 Dec 2009, 13:31, Reply)

Pfffft
proper officelol right there.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 14 Dec 2009, 15:02, Reply)

Yes, I have been in an ambulance
6 years ago I visited my then girlfriend at uni and somebody spiked her drink. We werent drunk and we hadnt taken drugs. A medic turned up and berated me for wasting his time, then an ambulance turned up and the paramedic berated me for not calling them sooner. The hospital staff treated us like shit and the doctor clearly didnt belive that we hadnt taken drugs (we didnt even smoke).

Worst night of my life.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Mon 14 Dec 2009, 12:33, Reply)

I have been in an ambulance twice.
Once when I was little and fell off a wall and broke my tuppence and also about 10 years ago when I had a very bad panic attack on the way to work.

I'm working on getting a go in one of those flying ambulance.
( girlinthehole, Mon 14 Dec 2009, 12:58, Reply)

Ambulance twice
Once after I had a drink spiked with an illegal substance & then a few years later when I had my first epileptic seizure; well, 2 one after another (at the grand age of 34).
(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Mon 14 Dec 2009, 13:06, Reply)