Ah cool!

I use your mum as some sort of wheel along Marry Poppins bag, that I can pull 6ft lamp shades out of her fanny. It's like a lucky dip most of the time, sometime matchboxes, most of the time Dyson products. One time I heard a rumble so I opened up her pleasure tomb and Indiana Jones came out, just before her legs could close again he reached inside and grabbed his hat before the crash of her closing fuck slabs made the entire forest of birds take flight.
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 15:07, 1 reply, 16 years ago)

Yeah', well, your mum made me rich beyond my wildest dreams.
I covered some coal in tinned tuna* and she gobbled it up in one go. A month later, a 12" diamond popped out, so I sold it in an auction. In the mean time, I had to plug up the gap with something but I couldn't find anything. She told to look under the spare bed-sheets that are in the third draw from bottom, and I found a twelve inch black rubber dildo (with a ripcord and petrol tank), and it fit perfectly. She was well pleased by that.


* Her favourite food, because it reminds her on the time she once spread her legs and her baby boy popped out, she hasn't opened her legs before or since then. She's to scared to open her legs incase another one pops out... her walk is a bit funny, not 'haha' funny, but '=/' funny.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 15:13, Reply)

Your mum hooked you out after 12 weeks of pregnancy with a stiletto heel
You haven't grown since that's why you look like an abortion wrapped in clingfilm. Your mum tried to carry you but you'd just wriggle off like some sort of fast spasticated slug and eat all the cabbages from next door's garden.

/good cuss fight old bean *handshakes*
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 15:17, Reply)

Yeah', well, yeah', well..... Your mum is a very pleasent person.
She once went skinny-dipping on a beach, and it was all fine 'till Greenpeace showed up. They decided rather than drag her back into the sea, "It would be less cruel to put her down", so they whacked her over the head with a shovel a few times. She then explained to them that she was in fact a land mammal and not the sea mammal they confused her for. But unfortuantly, the damage was done, and that's why her offspring have faces like they've been stoved in, and all did "Studdy Support" instead of the 8 GSCEs like everyone else in his class.

/Hah, nice one, love these *firm handshakes*
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 15:25, Reply)

haha :D
Your Mum and Dad are Peter Beardsley's shins.
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 15:26, Reply)

I had to google him,
Why would an england player have a bowl hair cut (as in, put the boal on the head and cut everything that isn't inside the boal) ?
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 15:42, Reply)

Why did you spell bowl differently?
What's going on in your head gonz?
( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 15:47, Reply)

I just don't know =(

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 15:48, Reply)