Almost nothing, sadly.
I feel terminally unfulfilled and my epic level of underachievement, which didn't bother me at all until I became a father, is really weighing down heavily upon me. I was earmarked for so-called Big Things from a young age, but have singularly failed to deliver on any level. Becoming a father and sliding towards 40 are both adding to my unease and disappointment in myself.

But now I am hamstrung by the fact that I've done the same job for 15 years and to radically move industries would require a drastic paycut that is simply not possible.

I am trapped in a pretty shitty life. I have much to be grateful for, but I don't feel very fucking grateful most of the time. Sometimes I slightly envy the homeless bullshitters at Old Street station with their simple existence of super-strong drink and gangrene.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 15 Jan 2010, 10:32, 5 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

It must be an interesting perspective for them,
topping up their Tennent's Superpowers as they view the world from their fortress of Skolitude...
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 15 Jan 2010, 10:35, Reply)

I like this a lot

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 15 Jan 2010, 10:37, Reply)

Fabulous use of English. 10/10

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 15 Jan 2010, 10:38, Reply)

I feel almost exactly the same
However i get paid relatively very little for my contributions, but that is reflected in my input. However, that in itself is a vicious circle of boredom, inactivity and underachieving. I desperately need a new job, something in which I have a semblance of interest.

My wife is very driven and has achieved and surpassed every goal she has ever set herself. She comes home and start shooting the sit about what happened/is happening in her work and I can hold my own and even offer insights that her colleagues fail to spot. Then i think, fuck, i could work there, i could do that, i could get paid £40k, those folk sound like gormless cunts but have somehow managed to land on their feet and have been holding on for grim death ever since, terrified someone will find them out for the gormless cunts they actually are.

Over achieving and being in a job that exploits latent skills is a brilliantly positve position to be in. it can transform a person, make them walk more upright, enable them to look in the mirror and be happy with what they see. These things are out there, they just require faith in yourself.

However, the phrase, the cliche that is 'It's not what you know, it's who you know" rings loudly in me ears and the daily misery grinds me down a little more. I refuse to feel sorrow for myself though, because once you start down that road, then it's game over.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Fri 15 Jan 2010, 10:43, Reply)

Fucking shit, innit?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 15 Jan 2010, 10:52, Reply)

It's not good, at all
Let's get pished, caned and stoned instead.

Fuck it all.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Fri 15 Jan 2010, 10:55, Reply)

That's pretty shit
Do you live to work or work to live?

I used to be the former, but am much happier now it is the latter.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Fri 15 Jan 2010, 10:52, Reply)

I've always been very strictly the latter.
The idea that you can be defined by the way you pay for your home and food is fucking laughable but endemic in society. On the rare occasion I meet new people, the 'so what do you do?' question always comes up. I'd rather know 'what are you interested in? what makes you tick?' etc but I appear to be in the minority.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 15 Jan 2010, 11:05, Reply)

butting in
you're not the only one
(maggotriddendirtbox fast, feral and sharp as a tack since, Sun 17 Jan 2010, 2:41, Reply)

in my industry there seems to be an expectation that you will do the former
engineer isn't what you do, it's what you are.

fuck that shit.

it pays the bills and it's not too dull. if I could find something that would pay the same and be less boring or have less responsibility I would snap it up, despite my clearly engineering brain
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 15 Jan 2010, 11:07, Reply)

Engineers are a special case
You couldn't change engineer for accountant or solicitor in your statement.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Fri 15 Jan 2010, 11:14, Reply)

most accountants are people who trained as something else
then found out it didn't pay enough, so became accountants.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 15 Jan 2010, 11:16, Reply)

and consequently much duller

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Fri 15 Jan 2010, 11:22, Reply)

I know what you mean
I've been coasting along making the absolute minimum of effort for the last five years. Thankfully, I shall be escaping this hellpit in a few months (I hope) but I sort of then need to get another terminally unfulfilling IT job in a pretty rapid fashion lest my debt consume me.

I could go and do something else or get another qualification, but then my debts would consume. Boo hiss.

Still, no the upside, it's skive central here at the moment.
(barnaby_kettleworth, Fri 15 Jan 2010, 11:03, Reply)

Gutted

(PsychoChomp, Fri 15 Jan 2010, 11:23, Reply)