I'm saving up most of my moaning
For a new psychiatrist. Just got notice that I can change to someone different to the scary uber-bitch (I suspect repressed lesbian) I've had for the last nine years. I wrote a long letter outlining her short-comings in bullet-point fashion and got a lot of sympathy from the local trust, I'm fairly sure because of her reputation. For the first time I'm going to be totally honest about my life and try to sort things out. Been lying about how things are fine for far too long.

Just had a week to myself, that I was looking forward to for some me-time, but I've spent the days hungover, depressed and ill and the evenings literally staggeringly drunk. The whole week I hardly moved from the house, saw no-one (no friends round here) and it sent me a bit (more) crazy. Right now I feel like I'm on death's door.
(Fancy a weekend on my Raymondo Luxury Yacht?, Sat 30 Jan 2010, 16:35, 3 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I had guessed your demeanour by your erratic and confusing posts : )
Or you were just being lolwacky.
( girlinthehole, Sat 30 Jan 2010, 16:38, Reply)

Both
Was mortifying remembering them every morning, and there's probably worse ones I don't remember.. ah well probably entertained someone!
(Fancy a weekend on my Raymondo Luxury Yacht?, Sat 30 Jan 2010, 16:48, Reply)

9 years!
good luck with the next bit. It's all a bit scary telling people the truth about how things really are

I'm usually OK on my own, but if you have no goals or tasks or deadlines, everything gets a bit spoolly and unfocused.
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 30 Jan 2010, 16:41, Reply)

What I'm most scared about
Is the new consultant being like the old one. A proportion of psychiatrists are scary bastards who give a strong impression that they hate their patients. I've met real life nurse Rachetts too. Mental Health care is a weird buisness. If they turn out to be a nice, reasonable person then it'll be fine. It's all nothing I don't talk about with close friends (when I get to see them).

And yeah, I need to be more active and, like, do stuff, but have grown so damn lazy over the years.
(Fancy a weekend on my Raymondo Luxury Yacht?, Sat 30 Jan 2010, 16:58, Reply)

The few I've had dealings with have been helpful and easy to talk to.

( girlinthehole, Sat 30 Jan 2010, 17:01, Reply)

I've had three awful ones
My family and other patients who met them agreed. I think it's this area. I've either got a massive Madame Bovary complex or the West Midlands is a magnet for shitcunts. It's probably a bit of both.
(Fancy a weekend on my Raymondo Luxury Yacht?, Sat 30 Jan 2010, 17:04, Reply)

You know what the best solution would be?
Just stop being such a fucked up mental head. Works for me.
(Bazongaloid, Sat 30 Jan 2010, 17:06, Reply)

Righty-oh
Reminds me that Blaireau had a 10-point plan for that - I'll dig it out of the archives - what an online angel.
(Fancy a weekend on my Raymondo Luxury Yacht?, Sat 30 Jan 2010, 17:12, Reply)

Just look at my profile
I preserved it for posterity
(Bazongaloid, Sat 30 Jan 2010, 17:14, Reply)

I've only every been to a relationship counselor
and she was nice. I didn't really like the whole 'talking about things' but much, though. I would have though psychiatrists would be more 'people' people, since that's what they do
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 30 Jan 2010, 17:06, Reply)

What they do a lot of
is try to find the right medication. Sometimes they sign forms to hospitalise patients against their will and inject them in the arse with zombifying drugs. It's tricky moral territory and I think a lot have grown cynical. A bit like with the police, you get good ones and nasty ones.
(Fancy a weekend on my Raymondo Luxury Yacht?, Sat 30 Jan 2010, 17:14, Reply)

Oh, nasty.
My psych has just been lovely, though I think I might be outgrowing her (being a child one...) I don't think I'm bad enough to transfer to the one college offers, I'm just getting low level "chats" with my psych each time I get a prescription. Which reminds me, I better book another one.
I know of people who have had bad psychs (by that I mean people they don't get on with...) and moved, and have got a lot better.

At the moment, I'm telling myself I'm happy, and I feel happy some of the time (which is fucking odd...) but I've had a couple of very VERY dark patches this week. Luckily confined to about half an hour, and where I've been out, so I've not been tempted to do anything bad.
Doesn't stop the temptations that Waterloo bridge causes :D

Best of luck to you. Hope things improve.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Sat 30 Jan 2010, 18:33, Reply)

There isn't a KFC on Waterloo bridge.

(Bazongaloid, Sat 30 Jan 2010, 18:41, Reply)

Obviously there should be.

( girlinthehole, Sat 30 Jan 2010, 18:47, Reply)

The Royal Lifeboat thing is situated just under it.
Therefore that would not be my bridge of choice. Rescue would be close at hand, and shit would get even more serious.

Let it just be known I have never seriously considered jumping off Waterloo Bridge. I have assessed it and anyway I get urges to throw myself under busses and off tall things even when not having a lolmental episode.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Sat 30 Jan 2010, 18:49, Reply)

THere's a McDonalds in Waterloo station though
How are you Mr Geordie?
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Sat 30 Jan 2010, 18:47, Reply)

Waterloo station is beautiful
I'd go and stand there if I was getting urges to throw myself off the bridge
(Fancy a weekend on my Raymondo Luxury Yacht?, Sat 30 Jan 2010, 18:54, Reply)

Thing's are not that bad really
I'm nowhere near to being suicidal anyway. It's to a degree self-inflicted and for this reason I try not to post about lolmental things too much.

Got a balti arriving in ten minutes and then I'm off to see a band and I don't feel like death so much now, so things are looking up.
(Fancy a weekend on my Raymondo Luxury Yacht?, Sat 30 Jan 2010, 19:10, Reply)