^New number 2
Mainly because I had to look up the colour puce.

A boy I went to school with used to have cold Bernard Matthew's turkey dinosaurs instead of sandwiches in his packed lunch.
(TheColonel, Wed 3 Feb 2010, 9:58, 2 replies, latest was 17 years ago)

Not a fellow destined for great things in life, I suspect...

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Feb 2010, 10:07, Reply)

He broke his leg twice.
Once by falling over in the bath, and a second time by falling off a chair onto a ladder.
(TheColonel, Wed 3 Feb 2010, 10:08, Reply)

My lunchtime story
As a kid we stopped in a little cafe in Calais on the way home from a camping holiday. I asked for ketchup with my frites and was bought a bottle that must have been on a windowsill for a few months. On removing the top there was a loud BOOF noise and most of the bottle's contents were explosively distributed over a six foot radius. We looked like disaster victims.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 3 Feb 2010, 10:11, Reply)

I ALWAYS check that the lid is on a bottle of ketchup before shaking it
for the reason that I once gave a bottle a rigorous shake and the lid hadn't been done up, leaving wonderful tiger stripes of red sauce all over the kitchen ceiling.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 3 Feb 2010, 10:21, Reply)