Are you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.
(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
« Go Back | Popular
I am having an unprecedentedly healthy week this week, for some reason. How have you surprised yourself recently?
(, Wed 3 Feb 2010, 9:24, 137 replies, latest was 16 years ago)
I have surprised myself by not spending every penny I earn then waiting for payday to come like a hungry dog. I've been mostly in the black for a couple of years now. I must be getting old.
rafter
baz
(, Wed 3 Feb 2010, 9:27, Reply)
This, pathetically, is rarer than rocking-horse shit, as they say.
(, Wed 3 Feb 2010, 9:45, Reply)
Good for the wallet, the grey matter and the internal organs. Gives you a bit of perspective on the 'good times' so to speak. It isn't until you abstain, that you can see just how much you consume.
Plus the fact that the next time you decide to party, there should be a glut of fresh braincells to zap. Pass the bugle!
(, Wed 3 Feb 2010, 9:58, Reply)
which is surprising because I never have sex dreams.
Fool needs to get laid.
(, Wed 3 Feb 2010, 9:28, Reply)
Gave up drinking wine. For the last month or so I've been drinking beer so my actual amount of alcohol consumed has nosedived.
Bt I've just finished a job where the grateful client gave me two bottles of rather expensive Shiraz (he gave me part of a skeleton as well but I won't go into that...) so I'm going to break my wine embargo and get slightly shit-faced tonight...
Cheers
(, Wed 3 Feb 2010, 9:35, Reply)
But it's down to amount. One and half bottles of wine vs 6 small bottles of beer. The wine has waaay more alcohol. It's the problem with drinking good wine. It's just so nice that you don't want to stop until you're shitfaced....
Cheers
(, Wed 3 Feb 2010, 9:45, Reply)
Lowered a fairly decent bottle of Aussie Shiraz last night on top of a Spanish Tempranillo - delicious!
(, Wed 3 Feb 2010, 10:01, Reply)
called Legless for a reason. And it's "functional alkie" to you.......
Cheers
(, Wed 3 Feb 2010, 9:42, Reply)
Yeah, that's what I tell people too when they sit in awe as I crack open another bottle of grape juice on a Monday evening.
(, Wed 3 Feb 2010, 9:44, Reply)
Yeah, I know it's the wrong tune but it's fun.
(, Wed 3 Feb 2010, 11:07, Reply)
I never like spicy food and am a bit of a wimp to the stronger curries, yet I ate a curry which had a side order of pilau rice with full green chillis mixed in.
It burnt me mouth a fair bit but it was quite enjoyable. Yey me. I like stories.
(, Wed 3 Feb 2010, 9:37, Reply)
once hoodwinked our long-suffering mother into trying 'one of these delicious Indian green beans' when we went for a curry. The poor woman was actually crying and begging for relief. We didn't tell her that you need alcohol or milk to get the burn out of one's mouth, and that water is effectively useless, either.
Naughty boys.
(, Wed 3 Feb 2010, 9:41, Reply)
After the one about someone whose brother ate so many chips he started crying and had to go outside for some air.
Nice one.
(, Wed 3 Feb 2010, 9:44, Reply)
My primary school had a 'progressive lunch' day, where teams of children were fed a different course at a different parents' home. At the main course house, I entered the realms of legend by eating no fewer than twenty sausages, and was unable to participate in the fun and games later in the day because I was doubled over in a darkened room, having gone a very real shade of puce.
(, Wed 3 Feb 2010, 9:48, Reply)
That seemed too easy. All I remember of primary school lunches is eating far too much once, and vomiting a lot in the dining hall.
(, Wed 3 Feb 2010, 9:51, Reply)
I ate a pudding that was topped with some rather over-toasted almonds, which caused me to vomit copiously all over the refectory of Lincoln Theological College.
(, Wed 3 Feb 2010, 10:12, Reply)
We bet a kid something like 10p each, that he couldn't eat everyones, 40 or so. He managed most of them, disappeared to the doctors, and lost the bet cos there were a few left. Haha.
(, Wed 3 Feb 2010, 9:51, Reply)
Stars the aforementioned Newman, and features a famous hard-boiled egg eating contest scene. Not so amusing if you have not.
(, Wed 3 Feb 2010, 9:57, Reply)
Beaten to it with the "love sausage gag"
On another note, sausages truely are the height of meaty goodness. I prefer mustard as a condiment but ketchup, brown sauce and to a lesser extent salad cream, are all fine substitutes.
(, Wed 3 Feb 2010, 9:56, Reply)
Wrong, wrong, wrong.
Edit, salad cream is the jizz of Satan.
(, Wed 3 Feb 2010, 9:59, Reply)
why upset yourself? Just have something different - if you don't eat meat, you can't have any sausages. It really is that simple.
(, Wed 3 Feb 2010, 10:04, Reply)
as they were a nice change. As a vegetarian it was nice to have something different. Then I started eating meaty sausages, first the cheap supermarket ones, then the more expensive higher-pork content ones, then butcher's sausages. Recently there were two packs of Quorn sausages reduced to 40p a pack so I snapped them up and cooked a pack that night. They were fucking terrible and I ended up splitting them open and leaving them on the bird table.
(, Wed 3 Feb 2010, 10:17, Reply)
called you a cunt, and shit on your car. Quorn is yuk.
(, Wed 3 Feb 2010, 10:19, Reply)
But I maintain it's great for variety and protein for vegetarians. And birds.
(, Wed 3 Feb 2010, 10:22, Reply)
I never liked Quorn. Sosmix was nice though.
(, Wed 3 Feb 2010, 10:23, Reply)
is the taste of 80s free festivals - I have extremely happy, albeit rather foggy, memories of that stuff.
(, Wed 3 Feb 2010, 10:27, Reply)
So I have become adept at making stews and curries with Quorn chunks. The worst faux-meat items I've seen are the execrable attempts to counterfeit bacon. Really, don't bother.
(, Wed 3 Feb 2010, 10:25, Reply)
In looks anyway, never tried one. What's the point of being vegi, and craving bacon?
(, Wed 3 Feb 2010, 10:26, Reply)
Surely part of turning vegi means wanting to explore new shit. Not have a chemically enhanced pig smelling bit of soya and God knows what.
(, Wed 3 Feb 2010, 10:33, Reply)
Meat substitutes aren't supposed to be perfect replicas of the product they're substituting. People have the view that this stuff's shit, and it is compared to the meat versions, so don't eat it, easy. It's perfectly fine for vegetarians who have their reasons for their dietary choice but want some variety and excitement in what they eat.
(, Wed 3 Feb 2010, 10:39, Reply)
topped with Haloumi cheese. One of my crowning vegi dishes.
(, Wed 3 Feb 2010, 10:41, Reply)
that that's precisely what they were supposed to be - the closest they could get to the original meat product. Is that really not so?
(, Wed 3 Feb 2010, 10:42, Reply)
You're right, the closest they can get, but not a perfect substitute. I've just noticed I feel slightly defensive and a bit militant about this whole subject, probably because I spent most of my life being awkward and odd and an outsider just for being a vegetarian. Sometimes I wished I was black or gay. So I'm just gonna stop.
(, Wed 3 Feb 2010, 10:44, Reply)
We had extensive gardens and consequently enormous quantities of fresh fruit and vegetables - but what we ate weren't 'fake' versions of meat dishes, they celebrated the vegetables rather than trying to make them seem like meat.
(, Wed 3 Feb 2010, 10:48, Reply)
is because I was bored to death of vegetarian food. I welcomed the availability of substitutes because they increased the ingredients available. I think my point is that although they don't stand up to their meaty inspiration, as ingredients for vegetarians they're perfectly reasonable and good for increasing variety.
Edit: and omnivores that moan about them are banging an already very dented drum.
(, Wed 3 Feb 2010, 10:52, Reply)
Actually I really do love sausages (the food kind) - I plan to write a book on them one day. All meat-eating cultures seem to have them and, bar the simply repulsive andouillette, I love them all. I've had all sorts of weird ones, from Chinese wind-dried sausages to Argentinian black pudding.
Yum, and again I say, yum.
(, Wed 3 Feb 2010, 10:00, Reply)
How's that differ from the usual? And is black pud a sausage? DEBATE!
Yeah, it is, according to Wiki. Must be right then.
(, Wed 3 Feb 2010, 10:03, Reply)
In the US they call it 'blood sausage', for starters.
Argentinian is softer and crumblier than the British version, and without the visible lumps of fat. It's rich and flavourful and without doubt one of the nicest things I have ever eaten. Seriously, it's fucking fantastic.
(, Wed 3 Feb 2010, 10:06, Reply)
A sausage is a food made from ground meat.
Black pudding is a type of sausage.
Ergo: Blood is ground meat.
Wikipedia triumphs again.
(, Wed 3 Feb 2010, 10:07, Reply)
I'm still working on the details.
I plan to launch the book in Israel.
(, Wed 3 Feb 2010, 10:13, Reply)
Mainly because I had to look up the colour puce.
A boy I went to school with used to have cold Bernard Matthew's turkey dinosaurs instead of sandwiches in his packed lunch.
(, Wed 3 Feb 2010, 9:58, Reply)
Once by falling over in the bath, and a second time by falling off a chair onto a ladder.
(, Wed 3 Feb 2010, 10:08, Reply)
As a kid we stopped in a little cafe in Calais on the way home from a camping holiday. I asked for ketchup with my frites and was bought a bottle that must have been on a windowsill for a few months. On removing the top there was a loud BOOF noise and most of the bottle's contents were explosively distributed over a six foot radius. We looked like disaster victims.
(, Wed 3 Feb 2010, 10:11, Reply)
for the reason that I once gave a bottle a rigorous shake and the lid hadn't been done up, leaving wonderful tiger stripes of red sauce all over the kitchen ceiling.
(, Wed 3 Feb 2010, 10:21, Reply)
It's not like me to wallow in self pity.
(, Wed 3 Feb 2010, 9:40, Reply)
ever.
(, Wed 3 Feb 2010, 9:46, Reply)
So much for you saying you're a nice guy.
(, Wed 3 Feb 2010, 9:55, Reply)
(, Wed 3 Feb 2010, 10:07, Reply)
You're so going down Psycho
No way BGB is toast
Kick him in the nut pouch
knee her in the box
(, Wed 3 Feb 2010, 10:12, Reply)
Slowly developing a bit of savings, part of which will fund either a big move or a new house or something equally epic. I'm thinking getting the ball rolling around summertime so right now I just wish time wouldn't move so slooooooowly.
(, Wed 3 Feb 2010, 9:43, Reply)
Seriously though it's a curse. You can be feeling great, feeling reasonably well off money wise and in a good mood. Next thing you know you've got that Friday feeling and end up hitting the pub at 6pm Friday and not getting home till 6am Sunday!
Ruins the next week at work and ruins the finances!
(, Wed 3 Feb 2010, 10:13, Reply)
filling the time is difficult though. I have been teaching myself french with the "Michel Thomas Experience"
Zut Alors!
(, Wed 3 Feb 2010, 10:27, Reply)
I think I pretty much need to learn it for brownie points from the french parents of the other half. How's Michel Thomas working out for ya?
(, Wed 3 Feb 2010, 10:45, Reply)
I think we all know what he's referring to here, eh readers?
(, Wed 3 Feb 2010, 10:55, Reply)
but the advanced didnt float my boat so much.
I had never learnt french and Michel Thomas is great because it gets you speaking it quickly.
I'm going to try another audio course that seems a bit more structured.
(, Wed 3 Feb 2010, 11:00, Reply)
The software and teaching method is quite intuitive and if I wasn't such a useless uncommittee bastard I'd probably be fluent by now. Plus it's on torrent.
(, Wed 3 Feb 2010, 11:22, Reply)
Except for every now and again when I have a little paddy and roll about on my bed with my arms and legs flailing.
(, Wed 3 Feb 2010, 9:46, Reply)
I went about 5 days without one, then came up with the genius thought "I can't stop thinking about having a cig, but if I have one, I'll stop thinking about wanting one"
(, Wed 3 Feb 2010, 10:04, Reply)
My mother used to call me Paddy Ashdown whenever I had one as a child.
She used to lock me outside the side door and say the man who lived nextdoor would come and hit me if i kept screaming.
(, Wed 3 Feb 2010, 10:28, Reply)
honestly I cannot think what I ate, but I now wish I'd done my poo outside so it could have reached it's full potential.
(, Wed 3 Feb 2010, 10:02, Reply)
Go and shit in your next door neighbours flower bed.
Or bed.
(, Wed 3 Feb 2010, 10:14, Reply)
ha ha h aha ha aha ahab ahhahab ahab ahah, pfft
(, Wed 3 Feb 2010, 10:16, Reply)
As at the end of last week, I discovered GHEE.
I think I now smell faintly of madras.
(, Wed 3 Feb 2010, 10:27, Reply)
It's about singing kids yeah?
Nails. Down. A. Blackboard.
EDIT - I honestly thought you said "Glee"...i'll drink my coffee a bit quicker & wake up
(, Wed 3 Feb 2010, 10:29, Reply)
as my own discovery of the delights of clarified butter comes at about the same time as my housemates have discovered Glee. Which seems to me to be a version of High School Fucking Musical that grown men and women seem to think it's acceptable to watch.
*makes more curry in disgust*
(, Wed 3 Feb 2010, 10:32, Reply)
I watched approximately 30 seconds of it the other day and it was, completely unsurprisingly, a massive mountain of faeces.
Some spastic was mincing around to Beyonce on a football field.
Brilliant.
(, Wed 3 Feb 2010, 10:53, Reply)
and is enjoyed by wummin, full blown chutney ferrets, closet woofters and the socially abandoned. I have only read about this abomination, and even the positive reviews make it sound horrible, in fact especially the positive reviews.
(, Wed 3 Feb 2010, 11:16, Reply)
is kind of like being surprised that 'Pets Win Prizes' is shit - but I seem to have managed it nevertheless. Once again it seems that, as much as the shit thing itself, it is the unwarranted adulation that actually annoys me.
The 'Bowie Effect', if you will.
(, Wed 3 Feb 2010, 11:20, Reply)
I would love to see this being fully integrated into modern day parlance. Although it may make people more aware of the cunt. Which would be a Bad Thing.
(, Wed 3 Feb 2010, 11:29, Reply)
Yet another thing we disagree on. I thought it was genuinely funny.
And while the subject matter will no doubt be touted as similar to 'High School Musical', the execution is completely different.
(, Wed 3 Feb 2010, 12:02, Reply)
The smell if it goes rancid is truly horrible, mind.
We should have a Ghee Pride march, if you ask me.
(, Wed 3 Feb 2010, 10:30, Reply)
I'm now thinking back to the jar of chilli and shrimp paste I've got in my cupboard called "Shito Hot" (no word of a lie) and I'm failing to work it into a "shirters" pun.
Gah, someone do it for me, I've got farting to do...
(, Wed 3 Feb 2010, 10:38, Reply)
and big ghee Village People ghee moustaches.
(, Wed 3 Feb 2010, 10:39, Reply)
should i eat it before my run of after...
(, Wed 3 Feb 2010, 10:32, Reply)
You'll get your run done much faster if your bowels start bubbling and give you the power of COMPRESSED AIR PROPULSION!
I also have curry for lunch. I love leftovers.
(, Wed 3 Feb 2010, 10:33, Reply)
and I may gas my fellow gym goers!
(, Wed 3 Feb 2010, 10:34, Reply)
You'll just look much healthier than the rest of them when they pass out and you're the only one still running!
(, Wed 3 Feb 2010, 10:35, Reply)
Oooh oooh me too! I’ve been having a healthy week so far and I’m quite proud of myself for exercising some restraint when it comes to bad food. Huzah!
(, Wed 3 Feb 2010, 10:32, Reply)
Aw man, I wish I had a do-overs that wasn’t a very good 100th.
(, Wed 3 Feb 2010, 10:43, Reply)
yours was probably something rubbish like 93.
(, Wed 3 Feb 2010, 10:50, Reply)
Didn't drink last night, I've got an organic bean stew for lunch (3 of my 5 a day), gym and no booze tonight. Tomorrow night is dinner with dad but I'm driving so just a pint or two.
By Friday I'll be the soberest I've been in months.
(, Wed 3 Feb 2010, 10:53, Reply)
Take £2.50.
Go to Tesco.
Buy Tesco Organic Bean Stew Pot Totally Not Ripping Off The Innocent Veg Pot Range.
Take to work and microwave as you're too lazy to make sandwiches today.
(, Wed 3 Feb 2010, 11:08, Reply)
onion, celery, fried
tin of mixed beans
tin of chopped tomatoes (1 teaspoon of sugar)
tomato paste
herbs and little bit of chilli and seasoning
mix in seperately cooked and chopped sausages
eat
fart
giggle
farty bean and sausage stew, done
(, Wed 3 Feb 2010, 11:29, Reply)
« Go Back | Reply To This »
.jpg)