OK, so which one of you lot has been designing posters for rape counselling? Eh?

Tell me what you'd like to stick where today.
( thealternativefact, Tue 9 Feb 2010, 9:55, 15 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I'm glad I'm not the only one who thought that when they saw the poster
It's about time someone started a TV/radio breakfast show called "Wake Up to Rape." Or possibly "Breakfast with Rape."

Anyway, to answer your question...hmm...bacon, betwixt two slices of buttered bread.
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 9 Feb 2010, 9:57, Reply)

I imagined him shouting 'surprise!'
and me responding, 'Well thanks, but I'd have preferred a cup of tea.'
( thealternativefact, Tue 9 Feb 2010, 9:59, Reply)

And him saying
"Well, I've got to do something whilst the kettle's boiling"
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 9 Feb 2010, 10:04, Reply)

I'd like to stick David Bowie's face
into the rotating blades of a helicopter.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 9 Feb 2010, 10:02, Reply)

Best put some newspaper down first.
That will make it easier to gather up the splattered remains of his cranium and sell them to his legions of adoring fans - if nothing else it would be nice to break even on the cost of hiring a helicopter.

How'd the DJ set go on Friday, old boy?
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 9 Feb 2010, 10:05, Reply)

It was a roaring success actually.
I've only DJed a few times in the past few years, from being semi-professional at one point, nice to know I can still pull it off.

Quite good at DJing too, ho ho.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 9 Feb 2010, 10:12, Reply)

Are you as good at the decks at that one out of Limp Bizkit?
Edit: Actually, I've just discovered he was in House of Pain so I'll rephrase.

Are you as good at the decks as that one out of Linkin Park?
(TheColonel, Tue 9 Feb 2010, 10:17, Reply)

I am not qualified to comment.
I am not as good as DJ Sara from Japan.


She is about 8. Check her out on YouTube - for me it's 'aaaaah how sweet' and despair at my own inadequacy in equal measures....
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 9 Feb 2010, 10:27, Reply)

I'd like to stick morphine in my veins.
My back is still in muscle spasm and I didn't sleep at all last night. That's a lot of walking, rocking, moaning and watching the Hallmark channel. Doc told me to take paracetamol because there's bugger all else he can do. Temporary relief was found by applying sex toys to the lower back to vibrate the bejeebus out of it (I don't own one of those "massagers" that Roota has).

I am currently in a lull where it only hurts a bit instead of a lot. I am using this time to whinge and to email work telling them I am not physically capable of being there.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 9 Feb 2010, 10:10, Reply)

It was all that sailing around on the high seas wot dunnit.
Although we can lay the original blame at the door cat-flap of the World's Tiniest Man.
( thealternativefact, Tue 9 Feb 2010, 10:14, Reply)

It could be worse,
it could be slow anaphylactic shock.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 9 Feb 2010, 10:16, Reply)

Far too slow in my opinion.

( thealternativefact, Tue 9 Feb 2010, 10:17, Reply)

I'd like to stick my massager in the post
But I promise you'll be better before Royal Mail get there.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 9 Feb 2010, 10:33, Reply)

She'll be on her second one by then.

( thealternativefact, Tue 9 Feb 2010, 10:46, Reply)

I would like to stick
a note on my door / in my auto-response / on my voicemail saying, 'Fuck the fuck off.'
( thealternativefact, Tue 9 Feb 2010, 10:16, Reply)