Ah - but what if he says
'wow great a party - we'll come along after our show' - then I'll have to start digging deeper into lie-land.

'Errr actually you can't come. The area's been sealed off by the police - some sort of biohazard I think'
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 8:54, 1 reply, 16 years ago)

'When I got there, there was this huge flashing light in the sky. I was whisked off by aliens where they did terrible drug experiments on me.'

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 8:56, Reply)

I can't come tonight, much as I'd love to,
because I'm terminally ill'

and then tomorrow

'I'm alright now - it was a false alarm. Turns out it was just a sore toe'
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 8:57, Reply)

Honesty is the best policy, though, really, eh?
'Mate, I've seen them loads of times and the novelty's worn off. I'll come out for a pint with you to say hello for half an hour or so then I'm off.' No apologies needed, no offence caused, clear consciences all round.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 9:04, Reply)

He'll be mortally offended.
Being a wet indie type he's hugely over-sensitive. I once made a crack about his receding hairline and it took him about a year to get over it.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 9:07, Reply)

Haha fuck.
How about, make a weak joke about his expanding waistline, then tell him his band's shit. He'll be so mortified about his beer gut he'll take the latter as good news.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 9:09, Reply)

Ha that might work.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 9:16, Reply)

Shoegazing bender?
Just go to the gig and mosh furiously, like a white shirted skinhead at an early Skrewdriver gig, complete with headbutting and gobbing. You may then find that he will forget to tell you about any subsequent gigs.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 9:10, Reply)

Throw up on the drumkit.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 9:14, Reply)

One of my pals
threw up all over the mixing desk at Napalm Death once. We had to make a very swift exit...
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 9:19, Reply)

Christ, I bet they got through some contact cleaner.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 9:21, Reply)

My mate had drunk a pint of mixed spirits
out of a Thermos flask just before the show*. I think the alcohol level in his spew probably saved the day.


*we were about 15
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 9:26, Reply)

If I rush the stage
and grab his wife's tits that would also do it.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 9:17, Reply)

Sounds like a plan
Grabbing HIS tits might be an even safer bet
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 9:21, Reply)

I could just punch him in the fucking face
and run off with his beautiful new Fender Jazzmaster...
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 9:30, Reply)

F B a i
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 9:35, Reply)

Too subtle for this time in the morning
I've not even had my mid morning wank yet!!
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 9:39, Reply)

I have thoroughly amused myself if no other.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 9:42, Reply)

took me a while
but well done
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 9:50, Reply)

It was good
I tried to post a message congratulating you but it came across as sarcastic so I deleted it....
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 10:15, Reply)