A had a friend called Damp Dave who always thought he'd pissed his pants after taking too many illegals.
He never had.
( girlinthehole, Mon 22 Feb 2010, 9:58, 2 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

because you'd pissed them for him

(Bret Mong Keys Eggs has wet his weapon, Mon 22 Feb 2010, 10:01, Reply)

Guy on the way home from the pub pukes on himself.
He puts £10 note in his pocket and gets home, where his wife is waiting, who's very angry. She goes "Look at the state of you, pissed as a newt, you've vomited all over your suite, god damn it", so he puts his best sober voice and says "It wasn't me, some bloke puked on me, he gave me a tenner for dry cleaning, I couldn't help it". So she goes into his pocket and finds £20. "There's £20 here !" and he replys "I know, he pissed my pants too."
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 22 Feb 2010, 10:06, Reply)