Okay, question time
at least, question that isn't self absorbed and totally emo.

This Post:
www.b3ta.com/questions/flirting/post641938
if you can't be arsed to read it, it tells the story of someone who got absolutely shit faced, tried to pull a girl, failed and then drove home absolutely smashed.

I posted a reply being slightly facetious and received a gaz thanking me for being in the OPs corner. I wasn't really in their corner, I was just being slightly racist, and I think driving home when you're that pissed is clearly a very stupid thing to do and the OP is getting rightly flamed (albeit only very slightly).

So my question is, given that I have a dentists appointment at 10.30am tomorrow am I justified in working from home before hand rather than coming into the office and then leaving again an hour later? Or should I just push my friends and family away and then kill myself?
(Bazongaloid, Mon 22 Feb 2010, 9:20, 65 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I can't believe how many people on here continue arguments over gaz.
It did sound a bit like you were sticking up for him though.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 22 Feb 2010, 9:23, Reply)

Should I edit it
to make it clear that I'm not?
(Bazongaloid, Mon 22 Feb 2010, 9:23, Reply)

Nah, I think we should all just try to move on from this epic moment in internet history.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 22 Feb 2010, 9:24, Reply)

Option B, definitely
but I want a link to a live video feed of you doing it for me to fwap over
(Bret Mong Keys Eggs has wet his weapon, Mon 22 Feb 2010, 9:24, Reply)

I'll give you a quick run down of what I'm planning, so you can just tune in for the good bits.
At about 8.30 I'll set up my laptop on the dining room table
At 8.35 my laptop will have booted up and I'll be getting annoyed at how slow it's got and wishing my new hard disc would arrive in the post so I can fix it.
At 8.40 I'll get bored and go and make a cup of tea.
At 8.50 I'll start working.
At 9.50 I'll make another cup of tea.
At 10.15 I'll go and brush my teeth, put on my shoes and coat and leave the house.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 22 Feb 2010, 9:28, Reply)

there was a complete lack of killing yourself there
I'm losing wood
(Bret Mong Keys Eggs has wet his weapon, Mon 22 Feb 2010, 9:29, Reply)

I'm not killing myself before I go to the dentist
I've already paid for it.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 22 Feb 2010, 9:32, Reply)

what are you having done?
I worked at a dentist's once, they're massive con-artist cunts
(Bret Mong Keys Eggs has wet his weapon, Mon 22 Feb 2010, 9:35, Reply)

Hygienist
Getting all my nooks and crannys cleaned.

You're dentist might have been a con artist, but I would disagree that mine are.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 22 Feb 2010, 9:39, Reply)

Doesn't mrs Al normally do that with Henry hoover?

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 22 Feb 2010, 9:40, Reply)

maybe
There were about 5 where I worked, and most of them seemed to over-prescribe treatment, or put off work so that they could charge more in the long-run.
Hygienists are always very lovely ladies, aren't they? We had one called Polly, and she was ALL woman.
(Bret Mong Keys Eggs has wet his weapon, Mon 22 Feb 2010, 9:41, Reply)

was it NHS?

(Bazongaloid, Mon 22 Feb 2010, 9:45, Reply)

Nope, no NHS contract at all, totally private
it was a small practice, they just used to come into the office and say things like, 'that guy needs 3 fillings, I had time to do two, but if I leave that third one he'll be back in 6 months for a crown'

Utter shiteweasels
(Bret Mong Keys Eggs has wet his weapon, Mon 22 Feb 2010, 9:47, Reply)

That's pretty shit
NHS dentists often appear to be crap, but it's not their fault, they have to save money in the short term, even if it's clearly going to cost more in the long term.

But for a private dentist to do that is pretty appalling.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 22 Feb 2010, 9:50, Reply)

You're justified in everything you do and say
Because you're Al.

ARe you 'working from home' or actually doing some work?

People who drive when drunk are cunts. One or two drinks, I dunno, because I can't drive and I'm a lightweight, and I suspect one drop of alcohol would make me drive like a spaz.
But getting rotten, sitting there getting rotten when you have a car outside? Fuck off.

I'm just off to top myself...
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 22 Feb 2010, 9:27, Reply)

Don't forget to film it.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Mon 22 Feb 2010, 9:30, Reply)

Ok

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 22 Feb 2010, 9:31, Reply)

How is little miss Sunshine this snowy morning?
You're not going to bring the internet down with these negative waves are you?
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Mon 22 Feb 2010, 9:36, Reply)

Our snow has aaaaaall melted
It's just sunny and frosty like icing sugar.
I am a happy happy sunny bunny :)
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 22 Feb 2010, 9:39, Reply)

Even the grey bits of Slough are greyer than usual.
This weather is starting to depress me.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Mon 22 Feb 2010, 9:42, Reply)

*fetches the kleenex*

(Bret Mong Keys Eggs has wet his weapon, Mon 22 Feb 2010, 9:32, Reply)

Hmmm, I suspect you don't have any friends or family left
So just go and sit in the waiting room and read the National Geographics.

No fwapping to the modestly clad natives though.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Mon 22 Feb 2010, 9:29, Reply)

One of the receptionists looks a bit like an adult film actress.
Not one of the silicone enhanced blonde ones, one of the natural, larger, mature ones.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 22 Feb 2010, 9:31, Reply)

Get along early then
You won't be able to flirt after the treatment.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Mon 22 Feb 2010, 9:33, Reply)

It's only the hygienist
I'll be able to flirt even better with nice clean teeth.

If life was like porn then I wouldn't even need to flirt, I'd just hand her the envelope thing they give you and then after two or three minutes of awkward, stilted dialogue she have her knees round her ears and I'd be piledriving her. My cock would also be a lot bigger and I wouldn't wear underwear.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 22 Feb 2010, 9:35, Reply)

That's the spirit
from your original post, I thought some emo had stolen your account.

It's alright everybody, it really is Al.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Mon 22 Feb 2010, 9:40, Reply)

I like the new Al
He's like Al from Quantum Leap.
I think he's pregnant.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 22 Feb 2010, 9:41, Reply)

I might be suffering from a bum pregnancy
after you raped me.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 22 Feb 2010, 9:45, Reply)

I had a vascectomy in 1999.
Try anotha sucka, bitch.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 22 Feb 2010, 9:50, Reply)

yeah
but was it a bumsectomy? Because he could still have got pregnant, yeah
(Bret Mong Keys Eggs has wet his weapon, Mon 22 Feb 2010, 9:52, Reply)

SHUT IT YOU!

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 22 Feb 2010, 9:57, Reply)

You're going to be a bumdad!
get used to it!
(Bret Mong Keys Eggs has wet his weapon, Mon 22 Feb 2010, 9:58, Reply)

Babyfatha...

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 22 Feb 2010, 9:59, Reply)

I wonder what colour
your anal foetus will be?
(Bret Mong Keys Eggs has wet his weapon, Mon 22 Feb 2010, 10:04, Reply)

Shorty like a melody in my head, that I can't keep something something singing like ! nananna every day !

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 22 Feb 2010, 9:42, Reply)

Like ma i-pod's stuck on replayyyyy

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 22 Feb 2010, 9:46, Reply)

fuck you both
I had just got that out of my head after weeks of it being stuck in there
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 22 Feb 2010, 9:52, Reply)

Just so you know, TGB, so you're perfectly aware, so you can't say you walked into this thing we have blindfolded....
... there is a "Sush & Bento" shop opening up down the road from me, and last week a pick'n'mix shop opened.

I now honestly can't think of a place I'd rather live than where I am.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 22 Feb 2010, 10:16, Reply)

I used to be shit scared of dentists.
True dat.
( girlinthehole, Mon 22 Feb 2010, 9:44, Reply)

What happened?

(Bazongaloid, Mon 22 Feb 2010, 9:45, Reply)

back in the 80s
one of them drugged her, but she never got over the trauma of waking up to find that he hadn't raped her mouth with his throbbing sausage while she was under
(Bret Mong Keys Eggs has wet his weapon, Mon 22 Feb 2010, 9:48, Reply)

I managed to MTFU.

( girlinthehole, Mon 22 Feb 2010, 9:50, Reply)

Nice.

(Bazongaloid, Mon 22 Feb 2010, 9:52, Reply)

Isn't it far too early in the morning to be thinking about killing yourself?
I suggest mulling it over a McDonalds instead.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 22 Feb 2010, 9:47, Reply)

I think a McDonald's breakfast would bring out the suicidal thoughts.
Or is that your aim?
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 22 Feb 2010, 9:48, Reply)

But they're open from 6am
to make life more bearable? And the hot blonde girl serving will point out that you're wearing your jumper both backwards and inside out. Then she'll happily take you round the back where the bins are and let you finger her while she wanks you off into a paper cup.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 22 Feb 2010, 9:51, Reply)

Clearly it's 6am when you go there as you can't quite make out that the hot blonde girl's shift doesn't start until 10am
and its her brother Olaf on the tills from 6am. Ever wondered why her cunt was a little hairier than usual?
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 22 Feb 2010, 9:59, Reply)

It's the traditional response on here when someone announces suicidal intentions

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 22 Feb 2010, 9:52, Reply)

I thought that was KFC?
I'm so confused. Hang on, why are you here? I thought you had a job?
(Bazongaloid, Mon 22 Feb 2010, 9:53, Reply)

Nah, it's McDonalds innit
I'm allowed a day off. It's been 15 days since I last had a day off. Smallest violin etc...
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 22 Feb 2010, 10:00, Reply)

I don't believe you
I think you're trying to organise a Mount Sinai in your local McD's.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 22 Feb 2010, 9:58, Reply)

If only I had a local one. My nearest is at least 2 miles away :(
I have to make do with KFC instead. Shame really since I hate it.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 22 Feb 2010, 10:01, Reply)

I've just been given a Sausage McMuffin
Which explains my feelings of ill will to the world Today.

I'll find another reason tomorrow.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Mon 22 Feb 2010, 9:54, Reply)

A gift of a sausage McMuffin is a beautiful thing.
But I'd rather have jewellery.
( girlinthehole, Mon 22 Feb 2010, 9:56, Reply)

Do you like pearls?

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Mon 22 Feb 2010, 9:59, Reply)

Only the ones you find in the sea you dirty bastard : )

( girlinthehole, Mon 22 Feb 2010, 10:00, Reply)

Couldn't resist
'umble apologies
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Mon 22 Feb 2010, 10:02, Reply)

Have you ever had a CT scan? That's the one in the doughnut-shaped machine.
I like the drugs they pump into you when you have that, it makes you feel like you pissed your pants, but you haven't, you're dry. It's the greatest feeling in the world. I wish I could buy some drugs that make me feel like i've pissed my pants without me pissing, it's the greatest feeling man can have.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 22 Feb 2010, 9:51, Reply)

I haven't
my fiancée had one on her shoulder, she said it was horrible as she gets a bit claustrophobic.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 22 Feb 2010, 9:52, Reply)

That's the tunnel one, I'm thinking of the doughnut one.
They don't give you that drug in the tunnel one.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 22 Feb 2010, 10:02, Reply)

I have
but I actually, literally pissed my pants in there and the doctors had to clean it up with blue roll.

I was 7
(Bret Mong Keys Eggs has wet his weapon, Mon 22 Feb 2010, 9:54, Reply)

I had a CT scan on my spine.
They couldn't find it.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Mon 22 Feb 2010, 9:55, Reply)

A had a friend called Damp Dave who always thought he'd pissed his pants after taking too many illegals.
He never had.
( girlinthehole, Mon 22 Feb 2010, 9:58, Reply)

because you'd pissed them for him

(Bret Mong Keys Eggs has wet his weapon, Mon 22 Feb 2010, 10:01, Reply)

Guy on the way home from the pub pukes on himself.
He puts £10 note in his pocket and gets home, where his wife is waiting, who's very angry. She goes "Look at the state of you, pissed as a newt, you've vomited all over your suite, god damn it", so he puts his best sober voice and says "It wasn't me, some bloke puked on me, he gave me a tenner for dry cleaning, I couldn't help it". So she goes into his pocket and finds £20. "There's £20 here !" and he replys "I know, he pissed my pants too."
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 22 Feb 2010, 10:06, Reply)