If that happened
the only carpenters in the place would be those mesuring up for the DJ's coffin.

If I ever do get married it will be reasonably formal - no band, no DJ. I'd then have a separate party for all of my reprobate friends at which I will DJ myself - problem solved.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 10:55, 1 reply, 16 years ago)

I like your way of thinking.
I think I'm just a little bitter still about the Co-Op playing the wrong music at my Uncle's funeral. Not that I assumed for an instant that you'd plump for a Co-Op wedding...
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 10:57, Reply)

My sister got married in the Winchester College chapel
and had her party in the great hall. It was super-duper posh but also hugely charming. She insisted on giving her own speech as she is much the louder and more confident of the couple.

None of us thought she'd live to 25 let alone find a husband so it was all the more lovely for that.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 11:04, Reply)

Aww, that's really quite a sweet image I've got now
(Unfortunately, having no idea what your sister looks like, I'm having to just imagine you in a flowing, white wedding dress giving a speech.)
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 11:12, Reply)

Have you been spying on me?
*note to self - draw the fucking curtains you idiot...*
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 11:13, Reply)

At least your ladders are chained and locked.
*Ooops*
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Thu 4 Mar 2010, 11:18, Reply)

How else do you think I recognised so easily in Tayyab's?
You didn't honestly think the awesome flappy hair and Hawkwind T-shirt were a giveaway, did you?
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 11:21, Reply)

It was the small mole on my arse, wasn't it?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 11:24, Reply)

just to let you know
I've alerted the RSPCA about that mole
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 11:25, Reply)

Haha!

( girlinthehole, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 11:26, Reply)

He likes it there
It's dark and damp and no-one bothers him.

DON'T BREAK UP A HAPPY HOME!
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 11:26, Reply)

It's one of those symbiotic relationships
In much the same way as small birds can be seen grooming rhinos, the mole keeps Monty's arse clean in return for the warmth and shelter he provides.
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 11:27, Reply)

Only now Vipros has ruined it.
Great. Thanks mate.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 11:29, Reply)

Your arse will never be the same again.
Hear me, Vipros? You've ruined Monty's arse. (Though nice sig, by the way)
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 11:31, Reply)

you and that poor mole were in a destructive spiral
and it was only going to end in disaster. You'll thank me one day
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 11:31, Reply)