Just catching up.
I've had a quick scan through last nights randomness and there was slight mention of anniversary and wedding. So, as a matter of curiosity, what was your first married dance to? Our dance was supposed to be something sweet and romantic (I forget what) but the useless tosser DJ lost his set list and put Cliff Richard's Congratulations on instead. My wife had to be physically restrained from tearing the DJs throat out with her teeth, she hates Cliff so much.

For those unmarrieds or singletons, what was your most memorable first dance and what was the music?

Or, as prompted by Vipros, what would you like to have your first dance to?
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Thu 4 Mar 2010, 9:52, 173 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

that would really piss me off
bloody Cliff Richard

can't remember any first dances really.

I quite fancy I can hear music by the Beach Boys when I marry the mrs
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 9:54, Reply)

'God Only Knows' would have me blubbing like a bitch.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 11:07, Reply)

that's the trouble
I can hear music is more upbeat

it's got really nice lyrics too
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 11:17, Reply)

It was with an ex girlfriend when I was in my early twenties.
I can't remember the song because I was fucking cringing with embarrasment, not because it was with a girl but because I don't do dancing with partners.

Also remember slow dancing with the 5ft tall drunk father of another ex-girlfriend to Nat King Cole, this was before he knew his daughter was a lesbian and all the girls in the room were raging dykes too.
( girlinthehole, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 9:55, Reply)

I quite like the idea of Willie Nelson's version of Bring Me Sunshine
The lyrics are just perfect.

Someone showed me another one recently wich is nice. I can remember the song but not the name of the band.

I used to like Be Gentle With Me by the Boy Least Likely To, but then they let it be used on sofa adverts and it's ruined :(
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 10:00, Reply)

I have not yet been married
Nor does there look like much chance of me getting married in the near future...which has the advantage that I may yet have time to learn to Charleston in time for my hypothetical wedding.

(Whether the hypothetical* bride will be able to Charleston in a wedding dress remains to be seen)

*_{Hypothetical = mail order Japanese}
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 10:01, Reply)

Aw dude I look like a flapper and would love to Charleston on my wedding day
But I've recently and drunkenly got myself pretend-betrothed.
If he scarpers, want me to ring you?
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 10:04, Reply)

By all means
But bear in mind I've got to learn first...at the moment all I can do is the window-washing motion with a demented grin and I doubt I'm even doing that right...
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 10:08, Reply)

I've got to learn too
And I also have to fit in a marriage and a divorce, so you'll have plenty of time.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 10:11, Reply)

I'm going to regret telling you this
But I could probably teach you to Charleston
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 10:15, Reply)

Could you teach me to jitterbug too?
I want so much to jitterbug :(
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 10:18, Reply)

Yeah
Well, probably. It's a older form of the Jive which I'm pretty adept at, but sillier and with less attention paid to form, so relatively easy to pick up. Very energetic though
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 10:22, Reply)

That's what I want
Aw man you and your missus must have BALL!
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 10:22, Reply)

I want to play too
b3ta dance lessons please. I'll trade you swing dancing for pole. And the charleston for burlesque.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 10:25, Reply)

^ THIS

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 10:26, Reply)

We do, mostly
She takes it more seriously than me. I try to keep up so she doesn't ditch me
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 10:25, Reply)

Always keep up
She deserves to dance and it's hard to find a man willing, let alone able.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 10:26, Reply)

It's true
my bloke wishes he could dance, but he won't come to street dancing lessons with me.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 10:49, Reply)

what about the Bop?
Big fan of the Bop.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 10:45, Reply)

Hmmm....think I might just be able to master the basics by then
I was dragged along to two dance classes by an ex. One session was Lindy Hop (good fun) but the other one was Tango. Faaaaaar too serious. And the guy teaching it kept telling us to try and feel "sensual" while we danced - it's taxing enough on my brain to try and make sure my enormous feet don't squish whichever woman I was paired up with, how am I then supposed to turn it into some sort of expression of desire?
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 10:17, Reply)

Sack the tango
I'll have a go of lindy-hop
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 10:18, Reply)

Anything which involves swing or trad jazz is fine with me
At least then I don't have to take it seriously while I'm doing it.
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 10:26, Reply)

Roots - tell me my sweet -
does this mean you're Bi? I had you down as a lezza for some reason.

Only asking, like.
( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Thu 4 Mar 2010, 10:13, Reply)

I'm not bi
I used to be a lesbian and I can tooootally appreciate ze ladies, but I shall not be touching any ever again.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 10:17, Reply)

Haha!

( girlinthehole, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 10:20, Reply)

That right Blousie!
Not even if you put that those see-through pyjamas on!
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 10:22, Reply)

Right. So probably then.
And while I'm being so personal -
Is you black too?
( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Thu 4 Mar 2010, 10:24, Reply)

No
I iz a whiter shade of pale
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 10:26, Reply)

Go, Larry! Go!
See what else you can find out!
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 10:27, Reply)

I am merely distracting you from the real game over there.

( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Thu 4 Mar 2010, 10:30, Reply)

It's not working :-)
Back to Roota please
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 10:31, Reply)

So Roota -
these ladies: how many exactly?
( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Thu 4 Mar 2010, 10:33, Reply)

Two
One when I was 15, the next followed at 16 and hung around in my life like a bed smell for almost ten years.
I was not a lesbian all this time but I was a bit scared of her and she was my best mate so I loved her too.
Then she ran off leaving me in debt and nearly homeless and very 'lost' because she was a bit controlling so I missed the cow. Within two months I was as happy as Larry, Larry.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 10:35, Reply)

Please don't edit that!
Thats's what I was thinking of - remember the story now.
( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Thu 4 Mar 2010, 10:39, Reply)

Why would I edit it?
What?
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 10:41, Reply)

Bed smell?
I'd picked up bits of that story over time, sort of pieced it together. Weren't the polis involved at one time?
( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Thu 4 Mar 2010, 10:43, Reply)

Eeeeeeeh
hahahah
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 10:46, Reply)

First
You’re My First, My Last, My Everything – Barry White (only to do a really cheesy ‘routine’ that we failed to finish as we were both too busy pissing ourselves laughing)

Last – Too Drunk to Fuck – Dead Kennedys
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 4 Mar 2010, 10:06, Reply)

'If you want my body, And you think I'm sexy, Come on sugar let me know'
Judged not entirely appropriate - can't think why.
( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Thu 4 Mar 2010, 10:08, Reply)

Nina Simone - My Baby Just Cares for Me

or Deeply Dippy by Right Said Fred, both have similar sentiment.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 10:11, Reply)

We had Fall at Your Feet by Crowded House.
About seven times as my brother-in-law kept insisting that the DJ play it again.

Then we had Killing In The Name Of.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 10:12, Reply)

Oh man that's ace.
I quite like Summertime by the Sundays because it mentions "Liverpudlian Lady, sophisticated male, hello partner, tell me love can't fail."
How's that for literal? (Obviously I would only marry a sophisticated male.)
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 10:14, Reply)

And where would you get the Liverpudlian Lady from?
O NO HE DIDN'T!!1!!!ONE!!!eleven
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 10:28, Reply)

Oh, you!
*ruffles*
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 10:29, Reply)

No, *you*.
*punches on the arm*
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 10:46, Reply)

Bless 'im
He only requested it a second time because he couldn't think of anything else to play to get us both back for a slow dance! Hehe

I wish he'd asked me, I would have totally asked for Glory of Love by Peter Cetera and done some killer air grabs!
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 4 Mar 2010, 11:33, Reply)

Me and my bloke
are going to have Muse's cover of You're Just Too Good To Be True so we can have a romantic soppy dance at the beginning and then a bit of a mosh when the guitars start.

Although people will probably think it's because my boyfriend looks like Matt Bellamy.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 10:14, Reply)

you lucky sod
Even I'd do Bellamy
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 10:23, Reply)

I KNOW, RIGHT?!
hehe
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 10:25, Reply)

Can he do a convincing falsetto mid-coitus?
If so, I'm coming over
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 10:27, Reply)

unfortunately not.
He wanted to learn guitar, so I bought him a Muse tab book, but he hasn't touched it. My friends tell me I probably shouldn't try and morph him into Matt Bellamy, lest he think I'm only with him for that reason!

When he was at the Reading festival a few years back Muse were about to play and he was in the pit near the front, people suddenly started looking at him, thinking it was Matt making a stage entrance from the crowd. I lolled.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 10:34, Reply)

My girlfriend's been trying to morph me into Fred Astaire for years
Now there's a debate for the ages. Bellamy or Astaire? I'm stunningly confident that I'm the first person ever to suggest that
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 10:41, Reply)

Imagine if Bellamy and Astaire combined
like a Sexy Morphin Power Ranger.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 10:51, Reply)

If I found a man who could play an epic guitar solo behind his neck whilst dancing a flawless Foxtrot
I'd be quite surprised to say the least

And then bum him
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 10:52, Reply)

I'll get me guitar and dancing shoes.
( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Thu 4 Mar 2010, 11:12, Reply)

I was thinking the same
I haven't played a guitar solo behind my head for quite some time now...

I'm still waiting for the day I open my eyes at a gig to find I've been playing one with a foot up on the monitor and gurning
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 11:18, Reply)

you need to bear in mind
that while Matt Bellamy may be a talented guitarist and pianist etc. he is also a massively pretentious helmet and dickhead.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 10:58, Reply)

True
but in a really sexy way
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 11:01, Reply)

I heard he has become a psycho recluse
when he's not on tour and he thinks aliens are coming to get us.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 11:50, Reply)

He's a fucking spastic
and his band are shit.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 11:20, Reply)

they used to do some decent stuff
but sadly every one of their songs is now the same combination of gay hand claps and over-produced, over-effected rubbish.

also, they come from a shithole
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 11:23, Reply)

They're one of the only vaguely inventive mainstream bands this bloody country has produced in about a decade
Although I'll concede they've disappeared into a cul-de-sac of their own creation marked "Prog rock hell" in recent years
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 11:24, Reply)

it is a real shame that they have gone that way
as they did show some promise.

I fucking love prog rock, but the stuff they are doing now is dull and repetitive.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 11:26, Reply)

Agreed
Such a shame. The new album managed to rip off Queen, Radiohead, Blondie, Depeche Mode and the Doctor Who theme int he first four songs. Points for influence, not for originality
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 11:29, Reply)

and was exactly the same as their previous work
but slightly worse

for prog rock these days you should be checking out Bigelf's Cheat the Gallows and Pure Reason Revolution's Cautionary Tales for the Brave.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 11:31, Reply)

I'm not allowed any more music
until I've MP3'd everything I own.

Every time I learn something new it pushes old stuff out of my brain
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 11:35, Reply)

I do kind of agree
I used to love Muse so much, but their recent stuff that's made it onto the radio has made them a bit rubbish, it's like every song has to be epic.

Their set at the Leeds festival a few years back on the sunday night when it was raining biblically is still the best live act I've ever seen though. There were lasers and shit. And the rain made it feel like we were in a music video. Although I was wearing a white shirt which wasn't very opaque by the end.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 11:49, Reply)

Damn
My innate maleness has distracted me from the serious discussion taking place above the words "rain", "white shirt" and "corsetier"
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 11:51, Reply)

Avoid 'mainstream' and 'modern' and you'll be fine.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 11:36, Reply)

This is all Oasis' fault
There was actual, "new", "exciting" music being made in Britain in the early 90's until they killed creativity stone fucking dead
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 11:41, Reply)

We aren't doing a first dance.
I'm not swaying on the dancefloor like a numpty while all the guests stand round bored for three and a half minutes.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 10:14, Reply)

A laudable sentiment.

( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Thu 4 Mar 2010, 10:15, Reply)

I will insist that everyone else dances too
To detract from my mincing and the groom's shuffling.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 10:16, Reply)

I made everyone promise that they would join in after one verse and one chorus.
AND THE BUGGERS JUST STOOD THERE.

I will admit that the romantic mood was spoiled somewhat by me turning around and yelling "JOIN IN, YOU BASTARDS!"
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 10:27, Reply)

Ha, that's the spirit!

( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 10:30, Reply)

Of course, I've ruined many romantic situations by shouting
JOIN IN, YOU BASTARDS!
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 10:45, Reply)

hmmm it's a toughie
But I think either "Annie's Song" covered by Jesse Younan or REM's Nightswimming would have to be my song of choice. Preferably Annie's Song.
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 4 Mar 2010, 10:16, Reply)

Aha!
Something I can answer without being horribly irreverent. Ms Foxtrot and I have talked about this at length, it being the only part of marrying me that she doesn't (understandably) consider to be a horrific prospect.

She loves the Jack Johnson song Better Together because she's a soppy bugger, and luckily enough the timing fits a Foxtrot nicely so she's already choreographed most of it in her head.

I want to do a mass Running Man to Something Good '08 by the Utah Saints
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 10:18, Reply)

I want a mass-cheerlead to Mickey by Toni Basil

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 10:19, Reply)

I got a really dirty look off someone the other night for knowing that it was Toni Basil wot sung Hey Mickey
Surely it's common knowledge?
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 10:22, Reply)

It bloody well is
I have it in Spanish too though.
I have her 'hits' album.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 10:24, Reply)

She had other hits?
Anyway, I thought it was. It was certainly less embarrassing than the pub quiz in which, during the music round, I recognised a song by Gloria Estefan. (Worth it for the two points, I'm sure)
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 10:28, Reply)

You mean you never heard Shopping A-Z?
You've missed out.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 10:29, Reply)

The closest I have to that
is the Argos catalogue
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 10:30, Reply)

It's more like Tesco online

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 10:31, Reply)

^ this
with big brass knobs on
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 10:43, Reply)

Aye, but wasn't there some cover in the mid ninties
by some bint that was note for note the same?
(Pirate Monkey is not the goddamn Batman, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 10:41, Reply)

There was.
Why do I remember these things?
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 10:42, Reply)

I have a nasty feeling she was called Lolly
or something similar. Off to wikipedia to find out!

Edit:- It was as well. Sometimes I am ashamed of the crap in my mind....
(Pirate Monkey is not the goddamn Batman, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 10:46, Reply)

It was Lolly
She was a presenter too
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 10:47, Reply)

That rings a bell, now you mention it
Horrible repressed memories seem to be welling up...

Argh! No! Go away! I don't want to hear about god, or read your watchtower magazine! Get that away from my mouth! No! It hurts!
*cold sweats as cover of 'Hey Mickey' plays in the background*
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 10:47, Reply)

No need. She was
So ashamed
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 10:47, Reply)

Toni Basil
played one of the hookers in the graveyard trip sequence in 'Easy Rider'.

FACT.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 10:57, Reply)

TOTAL FACT

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 11:00, Reply)

She also choreographed and danced with Davy Jones
in the stunningly psychedelic 'Daddy's Song' sequence in the criminally overlooked film, 'Head', by The Monkees.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 11:06, Reply)

Great film.
How are ya?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 11:10, Reply)

ey-oop!
Been real busy...had a long overdue meeting regarding my workload. To be honest it's a good thing, as there is only so much malingering the human brain can cope with. How did the meet go at the Indian restaurant? I hope everybody behaved themselves!
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 11:23, Reply)

Glad you're OK
was starting to worry a little, old chum.

The curry night was excellent, a good time was (I hope) had by all. Eyebrows were raised when I busted out the post-prandial cognacs but everyone dove in bar epic shirter Wookiee, in truth a superb fellow. Just needs to brush up on his drinking.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 11:40, Reply)

Nice one
I must say, my eyebrow would have been raised had there NOT been any cognac...amongst other things of course.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 11:56, Reply)

I'd like to apologise
if my unwillingness to drink horrible drinks as validation of your raging alcoholism offended.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 12:08, Reply)

Spoken like a true shirter

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 12:22, Reply)

I'm Your Man by Leonard Cohen.
'cept the DJ used a live version which contained some fairly obvious references to leather masks and BDSM.
Oh how we laughed ;-)
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Thu 4 Mar 2010, 10:24, Reply)

I prefer the Wham version.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 10:50, Reply)

Very funny.
Indeed.
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Thu 4 Mar 2010, 10:56, Reply)

We didn't have any dancing because I dance like Douglas Bader
However, the wife walked down the aisle to Sinatra's I've got you under my skin and we walked out to Apocalyptica's Nothing else matters
(SpunkyMcSpunkbubble Diddled your nubbin on, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 10:29, Reply)

^this
On both counts. Although your gothy proclivities and choice of opening number imply you're both piercing or suspension fetishists
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 10:32, Reply)

or maybe they both have scabies
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 10:52, Reply)

Someone lowered the tone further than me!
*dances*
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 10:55, Reply)

We had a live band called Not List play ours
They slowed down Fraction a little bit for us. It can be heard here

www.myspace.com/notlist
( Peej, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 10:31, Reply)

Apparently my Dad and his friends played
this record at my friend's wedding. Not during the first dance - that would have been a bit harsh - but whilst the wedding party was dancing. It got a mixed reception to say the least. I think their friend was more understanding than his missus, certainly.
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 10:33, Reply)

Bugger.
Comes up removed by Sony. What was it?
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Thu 4 Mar 2010, 11:13, Reply)

Really?
It still works for me. Oh well. It was 'Laura' by Spike Jones & His City Slickers.
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 11:19, Reply)

Cheers.
I can see how that went down well. I could imagine Paddy Roberts' "The tattooed lady" having a similar effect at a goff wedding.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Thu 4 Mar 2010, 11:38, Reply)

As I've mentioned in my previous post.
Should someone be crazy enough to have to marry me then it would be Ce Ce Penistons 'Finally'. We would leave the ceremony to Colonal Abrahams 'Trapped'.
( girlinthehole, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 10:38, Reply)

'Tiger Feet' by Mud.
The 'flying Angel' is the best dance in the world by far, followed by the Uprock dance of 70s New York, for which I have a remarkable aptitude. I do it strictly when blind drunk, and have been known to injure myself and others in the process.


Actually 'It's Just Begun' by the Jimmy Castor Bunch would also be very apt.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 10:46, Reply)

And how do you rate the chances
that the DJ will mis-hear you and cue up "We've only just begun" by The Carpenters?
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 10:51, Reply)

If that happened
the only carpenters in the place would be those mesuring up for the DJ's coffin.

If I ever do get married it will be reasonably formal - no band, no DJ. I'd then have a separate party for all of my reprobate friends at which I will DJ myself - problem solved.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 10:55, Reply)

I like your way of thinking.
I think I'm just a little bitter still about the Co-Op playing the wrong music at my Uncle's funeral. Not that I assumed for an instant that you'd plump for a Co-Op wedding...
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 10:57, Reply)

My sister got married in the Winchester College chapel
and had her party in the great hall. It was super-duper posh but also hugely charming. She insisted on giving her own speech as she is much the louder and more confident of the couple.

None of us thought she'd live to 25 let alone find a husband so it was all the more lovely for that.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 11:04, Reply)

Aww, that's really quite a sweet image I've got now
(Unfortunately, having no idea what your sister looks like, I'm having to just imagine you in a flowing, white wedding dress giving a speech.)
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 11:12, Reply)

Have you been spying on me?
*note to self - draw the fucking curtains you idiot...*
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 11:13, Reply)

At least your ladders are chained and locked.
*Ooops*
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Thu 4 Mar 2010, 11:18, Reply)

How else do you think I recognised so easily in Tayyab's?
You didn't honestly think the awesome flappy hair and Hawkwind T-shirt were a giveaway, did you?
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 11:21, Reply)

It was the small mole on my arse, wasn't it?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 11:24, Reply)

just to let you know
I've alerted the RSPCA about that mole
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 11:25, Reply)

Haha!

( girlinthehole, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 11:26, Reply)

He likes it there
It's dark and damp and no-one bothers him.

DON'T BREAK UP A HAPPY HOME!
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 11:26, Reply)

It's one of those symbiotic relationships
In much the same way as small birds can be seen grooming rhinos, the mole keeps Monty's arse clean in return for the warmth and shelter he provides.
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 11:27, Reply)

Only now Vipros has ruined it.
Great. Thanks mate.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 11:29, Reply)

Your arse will never be the same again.
Hear me, Vipros? You've ruined Monty's arse. (Though nice sig, by the way)
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 11:31, Reply)

you and that poor mole were in a destructive spiral
and it was only going to end in disaster. You'll thank me one day
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 11:31, Reply)

I really want
the wedding singer from The Hangover to play my wedding.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 10:53, Reply)

Mrs Tugnut and I....
...had a first dance of Prince's 'Erotic City' but consider our 'wedding song' to be Orbital's 'Impact' as we were playing that a hell of a lot at the time.

I had intended the first song to the Velvet Underground 'I'll be your mirror' but lost the CD on the way there which caused me major palpitations.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 10:58, Reply)

Ah, sod it
Because it's just come up on the old shuffle:
Tom Waits - Kommienezuspadt

Partly because the guests won't know what the fuck's going on and partly because I think you can, at a push, Charleston to it.
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 11:04, Reply)

Wouldn't 'Christmas card from a hooker in Minneapolis'...
...be a fun choice too?
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 11:07, Reply)

I hadn't heard that one before
It's really quite a nice song.
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 11:12, Reply)

How odd...
...Tom Waits "I don't wanna grow up" just appeared on my shuffle.

Strange forces are afoot.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 11:21, Reply)

I may not be having a first dance
but the band we've booked for the wedding does a mean "Chocolate Jesus".
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 11:32, Reply)

Mmmmmm...
"Chocolate Jesus"

Bollocks - now I am singing that to 'Personal Jesus'.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 11:34, Reply)

it's made me get Plastic Jesus stuck in my head
"Plastic jesus, plastic jesus, ridin' on the dashboard of my car,
I'm afraid he'll have to go, his magnet screws my radio...."
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 11:42, Reply)

Awesome
Is it in the same league as the version he did on Letterman? I have told my guitarist that if he makes good his ambition to buy and learn the banjo, I'm buying a bullhorn and we're covering that song.
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 11:34, Reply)

You can borrow my bullhorn.
I occasionally drive into the middle of nowhere and do Mark E Smith impersonations with it.

(Any mention of The Fall is banned from Tugnut Towers as Mrs T thinks he is the most annoying person in the world.)
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 11:37, Reply)

"Borrow your Bullhorn," eh?
[Insert Sid James as applicable]
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 11:39, Reply)

Fair point.
Best I don't offer instructions on how to use it either.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 11:59, Reply)

I think I know how to handle another man's bullhorn...
*wink wink*
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 12:04, Reply)

Your posts have made me remember something:
I think you might enjoy it.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 11:45, Reply)

Not bad that
Also followed the link to Charleston Butterfly which I rather liked - after all, it don't mean a thing if it ain't got that swing.

And since you've been good enough to share, you might enjoy this.
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 11:53, Reply)

Chambermaid Swing is my favourite,
But Charleston Butterfly is also excellent.

Wow! That was fantastic! I absolutely loved it. Hypnotic.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 11:59, Reply)

The 'Horst Wessel'

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 11:22, Reply)

Quite appropriate for a Grammar Nazi.

(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Thu 4 Mar 2010, 11:25, Reply)

grammar committed
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 11:29, Reply)

If you were that committed you would know the song as...
"Horst Wessel Lied".
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 11:33, Reply)

'Lied'meaning 'song'?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 11:43, Reply)

Aye lad...
It is also know as 'Die Fahne Hoch' (High Flying Flag).

(My Grandad (a mental Dutchman) once sang it at an arresting policeman as he was being done for inadequate insurance on a ship.)
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 11:57, Reply)

Well I never really intend to get married,
But if I did, it would be something massively inappropriate that I could headbang to. Or possibly start a mosh pit.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 11:43, Reply)

I want a wedding mosh
there won't be a lot of old people at my wedding because I've got no fambly, so we can party hard.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 11:51, Reply)

My family is full of old people,
But I'd like to see them moshing too. After a couple of hours, I'd get rid of everyone over the age of 35, and then the real party could begin.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 11:54, Reply)

I want a wedding nosh

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 12:21, Reply)

You could probably do without the wedding part?

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 12:27, Reply)

The only two musical changes I would have made at my wedding...
1. Forcing the DJ to play Gay Bar by Electric 6 earlier in the night so I could have had a boogie with my friend Charlie.

2. Bringing my own copy of Peter Gabriel’s In Your Eyes as the DJ seems unable to find a copy of it on the night! Booo!

Other than that it was tops!
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 4 Mar 2010, 11:43, Reply)

You were lucky
Imagine if he'd played In Your Eyes by George Benson!
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 11:48, Reply)

Oi!
Careful now, don’t knock The Benson!!
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 4 Mar 2010, 11:49, Reply)

Or In Your Eyes
by Kylie Minogue
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 11:52, Reply)

Do'h
You’d think musical artists would be a little bit more imaginative with the names of their songs so this sort of thing didn’t happen!
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 4 Mar 2010, 11:54, Reply)

Look at The Power of Love
Three very different options...
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 11:56, Reply)

Very good point!
I sort of like Feeders version of Frankie Goes To Hollywood’s Power of Love… its rather good.
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 4 Mar 2010, 11:59, Reply)

*skateboards*

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 11:59, Reply)

The only problem I have with that film
is the not-too-subtle insinuation that a white man invented Rock n' Roll...
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 12:05, Reply)

good point
but only one song's worth
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 12:22, Reply)

Ike Turner innit.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 12:23, Reply)

Nevva give up awn a goood thaaaang
*rollerskates*
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 11:53, Reply)

If love is what you’ve got…
you’ve got…. A LOT!

Wooooah oooooah
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 4 Mar 2010, 11:56, Reply)

*spin*

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 12:03, Reply)