I feel like SHIT.
I went for a drink on Saturday afternoon with my ex, she asked me to meet her and I thought it would be a good idea as I want to start having the little'un on my own.

When I met her she bought me a cognac to go with my pint - three more pints'n'chasers later we went to another pub and ended up going for a really expensive meal - oysters, steaks, bottles of Malbec.

The next thing I know it's 5am and I'm (thank God) curled up on my sofa alone with drug paraphernalia strewn all over the place. No sign of my wallet anywhere (still AWOL) - nor of my TV remote (now found).

From my inbox this morning it seems I have paid £28 in advance for a DVD about Saxon that has not even been made yet. I'm not even all that keen on Saxon.

What the fuck I was doing I have no idea. On the plus side my daughter came back to London on Sunday morning so I got to spend a cracking day with her.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 29 Mar 2010, 9:21, 3 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Oh Monty!

( girlinthehole, Mon 29 Mar 2010, 9:22, Reply)

I'm imagining you saying this with a chuckle, a shrug of the shoulders
and then chucking him on the side of the chin while you walk off to make a cup tea, shoulders still shaking with laughter
(Bazongaloid, Mon 29 Mar 2010, 9:23, Reply)

Near enough.

( girlinthehole, Mon 29 Mar 2010, 9:25, Reply)

I think you should start writing your (lack of) memoirs
might prove quite interesting

glad you had a good day with your daughter
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 29 Mar 2010, 9:23, Reply)

I think I shall call it
'Rock'n'Roll and Nose Pollution: my life in the trenches' by Lord Montgomery Boyce.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 29 Mar 2010, 9:28, Reply)

that is a superb title

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 29 Mar 2010, 9:30, Reply)

Shame about the contents though:
'chapter 9: the time I got hammered and pre-ordered a DVD'
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 29 Mar 2010, 9:32, Reply)

£28 is an awful lot for a DVD

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 29 Mar 2010, 9:36, Reply)

They can't afford to finish it
unless a lot of people pre order it
(Bazongaloid, Mon 29 Mar 2010, 9:40, Reply)

that should tell them that they aren't popular enough to warrant making a DVD

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 29 Mar 2010, 9:47, Reply)

Maybe a CD Rom free with the Sunday Mail might be a better option

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 29 Mar 2010, 9:49, Reply)

But they should be
as they are damned good.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 29 Mar 2010, 9:49, Reply)

unfortunately things don't work like that
U2 are shit, and they are really popular
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 29 Mar 2010, 9:50, Reply)

Well I've done my bit, anyway.
I'd rather donate to Biff Byford than some bloody starving Africans, any day of the week.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 29 Mar 2010, 9:49, Reply)

Quite
when have the africans ever come and rocked my tits off?
(Bazongaloid, Mon 29 Mar 2010, 9:53, Reply)

I'll tell you when: NEVER.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 29 Mar 2010, 9:56, Reply)

Exactly
when Africa learns to play guitar and writes a song as good as Heavy Metal Thunder, then they can have 18 quid off me.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 29 Mar 2010, 9:57, Reply)

Until then, they can all fuck off
with their fraudulent emails and massively devalued currencies.

The cunts.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 29 Mar 2010, 9:58, Reply)

Partiularly one that doesn't actually exist yet.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 29 Mar 2010, 9:41, Reply)

They need to money to pay off their debts at
The London Trichology Centre
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 29 Mar 2010, 9:41, Reply)

Sell it to Al.

( girlinthehole, Mon 29 Mar 2010, 9:39, Reply)

i for one don't think you're in a suitable state to have custody of a child
i mean SAXON?
( mictoboy shitting in your cunt since, Mon 29 Mar 2010, 9:28, Reply)

don't let Al hear you say that.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 29 Mar 2010, 9:30, Reply)

I heard alright
I heard.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 29 Mar 2010, 9:34, Reply)