I could murder a Jack & Coke right now.
And it's only 8:32am, that's how omgstressed I am.

What could you murder right now? Other than my mum, of course.
( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 31 Mar 2010, 13:32, 37 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Michael McIntyre
Always
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 31 Mar 2010, 13:35, Reply)

A large measure of Appletons XV and a good cigar.
Total destress for me.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Wed 31 Mar 2010, 13:35, Reply)

A gin and tonic
and a slice of cheesecake
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 31 Mar 2010, 13:37, Reply)

By the way Kristine it was 1.32pm when you wrote that
it says so in your sig.

Are you hammered already?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 31 Mar 2010, 13:38, Reply)

hurrrrrr

( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 31 Mar 2010, 13:39, Reply)

Alright Kristine?
The shitcunt I've been working with all morning.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Wed 31 Mar 2010, 13:38, Reply)

*nods*
Yo Becksville
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 31 Mar 2010, 13:39, Reply)

Alright becky
you should probably give him some laxative chocolates
( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 31 Mar 2010, 13:40, Reply)

Some lamb

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 31 Mar 2010, 13:40, Reply)

George Lamb?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 31 Mar 2010, 13:44, Reply)

Ew no

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 31 Mar 2010, 13:48, Reply)

He's lovely.

( girlinthehole, Wed 31 Mar 2010, 14:09, Reply)

some of my colleagues
and a spliff

feeling very frustrated with things and it's put me in a bad mood
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 31 Mar 2010, 13:46, Reply)

Come pick me up
I know a mate who's holding and I could do with an afternoon off
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 31 Mar 2010, 13:47, Reply)

tempting
although I don't know where you are, and frankly I could just go home and indulge there.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 31 Mar 2010, 13:51, Reply)

Norwich
Can't be THAT far from you
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 31 Mar 2010, 13:54, Reply)

a piddling 300 odd miles

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 31 Mar 2010, 13:56, Reply)

'xactly
Imagine how much weed I could conjure in the time it would take you to drive here. Disasterprone lives down this way too. Impromptu (well, not really) B3ta Bash (miniature edition)!
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 31 Mar 2010, 13:59, Reply)

Conjuring weed would be a magic show I'd pay to watch!

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 31 Mar 2010, 14:03, Reply)

Excellent
It'll cost you £50. For that, I will conjure £50's worth of weed. The clever part of the trick is that it only works after you've smoked that much weed, at which point you'll see whatever I damn well tell you to see
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 31 Mar 2010, 14:04, Reply)

My brother gave me a late Christmas present
-some weed. Very nice of him, only he forgot I don't smoke the stuff
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 31 Mar 2010, 14:07, Reply)

I can give it a good home

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 31 Mar 2010, 14:09, Reply)

You're fucking miles away
I'll take it Amberl
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 31 Mar 2010, 14:11, Reply)

I'm in Ireland for holidays
and I don't think I'd risk flying with it
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 31 Mar 2010, 14:13, Reply)

Build, like, a fucking huge catapult

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 31 Mar 2010, 14:14, Reply)

now that's an idea
or my own dirigible
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 31 Mar 2010, 14:16, Reply)

Surely you can hit Norwich from Ireland with one laser-guided catapult
NASA aren't doing much at the minute, they'll help
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 31 Mar 2010, 14:16, Reply)

What could be easier?
Prepare for package
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 31 Mar 2010, 14:21, Reply)

Hang on, there's a flaw in this plan
You don't know where I live. Bear with me while I write "AMBERL AIM HERE" on my roof
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 31 Mar 2010, 14:31, Reply)

too late I'm afraid
it's somewhere in Norwich.

Play hunt the weed!
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 31 Mar 2010, 14:34, Reply)

I don't think offering Disasterprone drugs is a good idea.

( girlinthehole, Wed 31 Mar 2010, 14:05, Reply)

He's a Forest fan, like me
He's going to need something to keep his heart-rate down
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 31 Mar 2010, 14:16, Reply)

I'd like to walk out, jump in my car with some mates and start driving

to a cottage by the sea and just piss about for a week, BBQ's, beer, beach, spliffs, pub food, poker, shit movies. Instead I'mm going to write some costing proposals.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 31 Mar 2010, 13:48, Reply)

I could murder a bottle of wine of which I have two in the back of the car.
Yes, yes, I know I was going to stop drinking at home but I'm lonely and I'll soon have 4 days of moping about feeling miserable without work to distract me.

I'd also like to murder Talk/talk.
( girlinthehole, Wed 31 Mar 2010, 13:59, Reply)

Please don't talk to me about TalkTalk

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 31 Mar 2010, 14:04, Reply)

They made me cry : (

( girlinthehole, Wed 31 Mar 2010, 14:06, Reply)

They make me go
"I'm hanging up because I can't tell you again. I'm tired."
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 31 Mar 2010, 14:08, Reply)