Maimed
Seriously right, fuck it all.
My mother, who was supposed to just give my hairstyle a little trimming neckshave, dug the clippers right into my neck. (On purpose, yes, because she is a sadistic cow.)
She didn't really want to do it and I should have heeded the warnings, but I figured it was a fair trade seeing as I've just hemmed some trousers for her.
Anyway I now have a neck full of tubey red mards and it burns like fuck.
And I have to be chirpy in work.

What will YOU not be doing again in a hurry?
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Sun 18 Apr 2010, 19:28, 10 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I need not to get as drunk as last night in a hurry
I got into a taxi only to be thrown out and walk home as I'd forgotten how to talk so couldn't tell the driver where I live.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Sun 18 Apr 2010, 19:41, Reply)

I have a friend who constantly ends up in wrong places
Because he cannot utter a sound when he passes a certain point of drunkenness.
This often takes hold halfway through his journey home.

I was cryinglike a toddler earlier but my dad and my dude have both white-knighted me. My dad called my mother a crank. Vindication!
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Sun 18 Apr 2010, 19:47, Reply)

I won't be spending today cleaningl
It's too nice out, so am at the pool!
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Sun 18 Apr 2010, 19:45, Reply)

i won't be listening to my friend
over where we are going on holiday. i will just be booking it and giving her a fait accompli . this time last week it was all set for 2 weeks in bermuda (pink sand? pink?? fucking get in!). now it could be anything from a week in capri to a fortnight in tobago, bermuda or somewhere else ending in "a". but still, holiday woo!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 18 Apr 2010, 20:33, Reply)

I'd suggest going somewhere
you can get to easily by surface transportation. You know, just in case this bloody volcano keeps spewing shite out into the atmosphere.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 9:18, Reply)

Being smug enough
to crack out the shorts to do gardening in this weekend. Some evil fucking thing has had a good nom on my poor defenceless thigh and it itches like a very fucking itchy thing.
(berk, Sun 18 Apr 2010, 22:47, Reply)

I wion't be spending any more time in the garden for a while.
It's pissing down.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Mon 19 Apr 2010, 9:06, Reply)

Well, now that I've heard what she can do with a pair of clippers...
YM.

_{Sorry, but someone was going to say it eventually...}
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 10:13, Reply)

Seriously don't mess with her
I think she's mildly autistic.
Cross that with a lack of empathy and a sadistic streak and, well, my poor dad.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 10:31, Reply)

has she considered a career
as a dominatrix? She sounds almost over qualified.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 12:03, Reply)