Mine would include
* Jumping out of a plane, wrestling a parachute from some mook, and pulling the cord just in time. I turn to the camera and wink, the sparkle from my shiny white teeth whiting out the screen in a flash, then focusing back to...

* Driving my Honda down a busy street, chasing another hot chick in a Ferrari. I flip my car fully over hers, gracefully spinning it through the air, landing it awesomely, before jumping out of my car INTO hers (while she's doing, like, a Hundred). She gives me road head while I take the wheel, as in the background my Honda explodes, tearing the screen away to show...

* Karate-kicking some massive thug (and his mates) because they were trying to rape this really fit girl, and she gets so wet by seeing me be so manly that she furiously tugs at my trousers to get my immense cock out (whilst I'm still kicking ass, natch). Just as I'm done she pulls up her skirt to reveal her eager wide-on, out of which falls a small CGI ball, which unfolds to...

* Me on my deathbed, surrounded by hot chicks and grateful world leaders (who are also hot chicks) who are thanking me for my various awesome deeds. I'm also totally getting a blowy from the fit nurse. As I pop my final cork in her mouth, and the heart monitor goes "beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep", all the woman cry but are simultaneously foaming at gash with memories of me. The nurse grabs the camera and spits my spunk on it, forming the credits.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 14 May 2010, 15:09, 2 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Is this Spankyhanky?

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 14 May 2010, 15:14, Reply)

Typical
I hire a film crew to make a montage of my life, and they follow some other wanker.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 14 May 2010, 15:15, Reply)

This could only be improved upon
if instead of the fit girl tugging furiously at your trousers, you were wearing some dungs.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 14 May 2010, 15:14, Reply)

I've created a monster

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 14 May 2010, 15:22, Reply)

you didn't create him
you just unleashed him

you're more like the guys in Jurassic Park 2, than Jurassic Park
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 14 May 2010, 15:27, Reply)

*pats fanny*

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 14 May 2010, 15:27, Reply)

Who's Pat?
And what about it?
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 14 May 2010, 15:38, Reply)

he's a bit nifty with a bat

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 14 May 2010, 15:48, Reply)