Now we've established the backing track to the greatest hits of your life,
What would actually be included in the montage?
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Fri 14 May 2010, 14:37, 135 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Busi, in a pair of tan linen dungs.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 14 May 2010, 14:39, Reply)

What are dungs, child?
I could google it but I can't be arsed.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 14 May 2010, 14:45, Reply)

Dungarees, my dear.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 14 May 2010, 14:50, Reply)

I seem to have missed this memette

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 14 May 2010, 15:14, Reply)

WONDER NO MORE, LAMPERS.
www.est1892.co.uk/forums/archive/index.php/t-13383.html
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 14 May 2010, 15:20, Reply)

...WAT

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 14 May 2010, 15:22, Reply)

michaelkelly.artofeurope.com/karl.htm
(PsychoChomp, Fri 14 May 2010, 15:51, Reply)

Christ almighty

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 14 May 2010, 15:53, Reply)

good use of the term child there

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 14 May 2010, 15:22, Reply)

My jaw dropped when I saw him
I was expecting someone old and decrepit.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 14 May 2010, 15:25, Reply)

I only have the vaguest idea what he looks like
I count myself lucky
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 14 May 2010, 15:26, Reply)

That time when I memed a meme

(PsychoChomp, Fri 14 May 2010, 14:40, Reply)

I memed a meme
in time gone byyyyyyyyyy
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 14 May 2010, 14:42, Reply)

A long string of paperclips

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 14 May 2010, 14:42, Reply)

Meme a little meme of me.

( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Fri 14 May 2010, 14:47, Reply)

You're a 'gay meme believer'
and a 'gnome bumming queen'
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 14 May 2010, 14:53, Reply)

memes can come true

(PsychoChomp, Fri 14 May 2010, 14:56, Reply)

Shite memes are made of these,
Who am I to disagree?
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Fri 14 May 2010, 14:56, Reply)

Meme,yself, and I.

( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Fri 14 May 2010, 15:06, Reply)

Meme From Shaft

(Cave Duck, Fri 14 May 2010, 15:17, Reply)

That's a good one.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 14 May 2010, 15:28, Reply)

Heh. It's like Bad Cop, Pity Cop.

(Cave Duck, Fri 14 May 2010, 16:10, Reply)

*shrugs*
I liked it.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 14 May 2010, 16:36, Reply)

(PsychoChomp, Fri 14 May 2010, 16:42, Reply)

I also liked this
*shrugs again*
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 14 May 2010, 17:13, Reply)

I think it'd just be people face-palming at how stupid I am.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 14 May 2010, 14:42, Reply)

I think mine would just be a montage of slipping, tripping and falling over things.
with the highlight being my descent from the pole at speed onto the back of my head. I would replay that bit three or four times, each time in slower and slower motion.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 14 May 2010, 14:42, Reply)

Hopefully all the parts I can't remember.

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 14 May 2010, 14:42, Reply)

surely that would just be hours and hours of you asleep
it would be like watching celebrity big brother.

Without the celebrity. So exactly like celebrity big brother.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 14 May 2010, 14:54, Reply)

Ah yes...
Maybe just the parts I do not remember due to inebriation would have been a more accurate statement.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 14 May 2010, 15:00, Reply)

I imagine it would involve lots of beer

( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 14 May 2010, 14:44, Reply)

Like this?
www.youtube.com/watch?v=-RiVLfFIgLo
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 14 May 2010, 14:46, Reply)

it would all be shots of me buying, drinking or puking beer
maybe a few slag moments
but mostly beer
( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 14 May 2010, 14:49, Reply)

On a bright note...
...it would be a cheap biography to film.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 14 May 2010, 14:53, Reply)

that would just be what other people see though
if I could make it myself there'd be lots of poems and friends and memories and music and dancing and laughing and crying
( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 14 May 2010, 15:11, Reply)

Meh.
I will hold out for the puking, slaggy Director's Cut.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 14 May 2010, 15:13, Reply)

drunken slag is what I am, so, yeah you'd definitely see a lot of that

( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 14 May 2010, 15:17, Reply)

Are you in any of the 'Spring Break' DVDs?
Or 'High School Girls Gone Mad'?
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 14 May 2010, 15:22, Reply)

I was a good girl in high school

( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 14 May 2010, 15:29, Reply)

mine would look like this
www.gifbin.com/982211
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 14 May 2010, 14:46, Reply)

Hahaha!
That is great.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 14 May 2010, 14:48, Reply)

It really is.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 14 May 2010, 14:51, Reply)

Holy shitting christ
I was stifling my laughter like a mong. I think my colleagues may suspect I am developing some kind of nervous system disorder..
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Fri 14 May 2010, 14:53, Reply)

That is the best thing about this Friday, well done
"Arrgh giant chicken!"
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 14 May 2010, 14:56, Reply)

I've forwarded it to Wiggy
I think you and he would get on. *scowls*
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 14 May 2010, 14:58, Reply)

I get on with most people

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 14 May 2010, 14:59, Reply)

that's what he says
*scowls more*
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 14 May 2010, 15:01, Reply)

why the scowling?

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 14 May 2010, 15:05, Reply)

sand in her vagina

(PsychoChomp, Fri 14 May 2010, 15:07, Reply)

ah
it's so obvious when you think about it
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 14 May 2010, 15:08, Reply)

because I disapprove of copious amounts of stonerism
EDIT: yes, also known as sandy vagina.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 14 May 2010, 15:08, Reply)

I see
you shouldn't disapprove. you should get in on the action.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 14 May 2010, 15:10, Reply)

You need to chill out dood

(PsychoChomp, Fri 14 May 2010, 15:10, Reply)

you need to out dood winston!
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 14 May 2010, 15:10, Reply)

It would be a slow-motion montage
of me getting angrily shouted at by various people. Teachers, Parents, Employers, the baying crowd at football, school-children, etc.
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Fri 14 May 2010, 14:47, Reply)

NO IT FUCKING WOULDN'T!

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 14 May 2010, 14:48, Reply)

And I would be slow motion crying
desperately shaking my soaking wet head NOOOOOOOOOOO
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Fri 14 May 2010, 14:50, Reply)

On your knees in the rain
And screaming up to the heavens.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Fri 14 May 2010, 14:51, Reply)

I've changed my mind, I want mine to be exactly like this
www.youtube.com/watch?v=RNWMlA9cdeI
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 14 May 2010, 15:00, Reply)

Aaha,
The bit on the bearskin rug.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Fri 14 May 2010, 15:07, Reply)

head cock whilst screaming the Lord's Prayer.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 14 May 2010, 14:52, Reply)

oh my, totally forgot about this bit
but instead of words it'd be the peanuts teacher wah wah wah noise cause that's what I hear when it happens
( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 14 May 2010, 14:51, Reply)

Cutting all my hair off, crying and eating.
Some dancing and lots of walking.
( girlinthehole, Fri 14 May 2010, 14:49, Reply)

l n
( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 14 May 2010, 14:51, Reply)

Haha!

( girlinthehole, Fri 14 May 2010, 14:55, Reply)

Mine would be
The best bits of my gymnastics and dancing careers, followed by lots of drinking, public nudity, pulling randomers.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Fri 14 May 2010, 14:53, Reply)

when good gymnasts go bad 5

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 14 May 2010, 15:01, Reply)

Exactly like this.
Why 5 though?

And it would be shot with dim lighting and red filters.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Fri 14 May 2010, 15:05, Reply)

5th in the series...
Because you're not depraved or hot enough for the first 4? Porn films tend to scrape the barrel a bit for their actors after the first few.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 14 May 2010, 15:12, Reply)

Damnit!
Well, we're having a massive night out tonight, and my flatmates have said that their aim for the night is not to buy a takeaway or eat anything when we get back.

They've told me my aim for the night is to manage to come home with them for once.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Fri 14 May 2010, 15:21, Reply)

Good luck with that

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 14 May 2010, 15:22, Reply)

I can promise nothing,
We're going to 5th Av, and its always packed full of my type of indie boys.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Fri 14 May 2010, 15:33, Reply)

and by her type of indie boys
she means gays
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 14 May 2010, 15:34, Reply)

Sadly,
Yes. I do have a subconcious thing for the gay.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Fri 14 May 2010, 15:38, Reply)

ref: attraction to chompy

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 14 May 2010, 15:47, Reply)

The gay,
Not women.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Fri 14 May 2010, 15:59, Reply)

Drink 5 doubles and pass out in the toilets
it'll be like I'm there in spirit
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 14 May 2010, 15:35, Reply)

I'm on it.

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Fri 14 May 2010, 15:38, Reply)

I haven't seen you in too long.
5th in July?
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 14 May 2010, 15:42, Reply)

Yes please!

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Fri 14 May 2010, 15:59, Reply)

I don't know
it just seemed like it needed to be the fifth one. Like Rocky V
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 14 May 2010, 15:15, Reply)

Is Rocky V a good film?

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Fri 14 May 2010, 15:21, Reply)

No, it's god awful.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 14 May 2010, 15:22, Reply)

Just close up clip after close up clip
of me wanking and screaming the lords paryer all to the muscial stylings of Christian Rock group Testament.

Hallelujah !
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 14 May 2010, 14:55, Reply)

I don't think you're thinking of Testement.
They were a thrash metal band from Berkley.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 14 May 2010, 15:11, Reply)

Stryper might be the ones...?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 14 May 2010, 15:15, Reply)

I just made it up to be honest....

I didn't want "Christian rock" in my google history, I prefer the plethora of horse porn searches there already.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 14 May 2010, 15:22, Reply)

This
www.youtube.com/watch?v=u8MWdNG3wsw&feature=related
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 14 May 2010, 15:03, Reply)

out of order ed.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 14 May 2010, 15:05, Reply)

Edmund?

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 14 May 2010, 15:06, Reply)

Sorry - try this
ed. out of order
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 14 May 2010, 15:08, Reply)

Nice sig. *smugs*
Blowsy gave me mine.

Edit - not yours Tuggers - Artoo's
( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Fri 14 May 2010, 15:12, Reply)

Artoo?

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 14 May 2010, 15:27, Reply)

Oi!

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 14 May 2010, 15:18, Reply)

Only playing with ya.
*looks at camera and shakes head*
For some odd reason I have spent this afternoon singing "My name is Roota, I live on the second floor..."
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 14 May 2010, 15:20, Reply)

Dr Tugnut2 fancies Roota!
*repeats ad infinitum in an irritating nasal voice*
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 14 May 2010, 15:22, Reply)

*Blushes*
Shut up!
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 14 May 2010, 15:23, Reply)

Oi, pack that in.

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 14 May 2010, 15:24, Reply)

Dr Tugnut2 fancies Roota!
Dr Tugnut2 fancies Roota!Dr Tugnut2 fancies Roota!Dr Tugnut2 fancies Roota!
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 14 May 2010, 15:25, Reply)

Wait 'til my Bobby gets home!

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 14 May 2010, 15:26, Reply)

I'd rather not.

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 14 May 2010, 15:37, Reply)

I DO LIVE ON THE SECOND FLOOR!

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 14 May 2010, 15:23, Reply)

So I see....
Oh!
*hides telescope*
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 14 May 2010, 15:36, Reply)

My old landlord used to live opposite and he had binoculars
and he used to stand staring into people's houses pretending he was on the phone but he wasn't.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 14 May 2010, 15:37, Reply)

try replacing it with this
"her name was Roota, she was a showgirl..."
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 14 May 2010, 15:23, Reply)

You said you wouldn't tell anyone.

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 14 May 2010, 15:24, Reply)

keeping a secret is a lost art

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 14 May 2010, 15:27, Reply)

So sayeth QotSA

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 14 May 2010, 15:27, Reply)

I believe everything they say

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 14 May 2010, 15:28, Reply)

Or:
"I asked her her name, and in a dark brown voice she said Roota

R-roo-roo-roo-roota!"
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 14 May 2010, 15:27, Reply)

Hahaha
Kinksy
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 14 May 2010, 15:28, Reply)

You love it

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 14 May 2010, 15:29, Reply)

It's not my favourite
Waterloo Sunset, Come Dancing, You Really Got Me, All Day and all of the Night
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 14 May 2010, 15:33, Reply)

no dedicated follower of fashion?

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 14 May 2010, 15:33, Reply)

And I forgot Sunny Afternoon too!

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 14 May 2010, 15:34, Reply)

me too

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 14 May 2010, 15:36, Reply)

I like the Village Green Preservation Society LP

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 14 May 2010, 15:35, Reply)

I forgot that song too
God the Kinks are boss
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 14 May 2010, 15:36, Reply)

Picturebook is great too

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 14 May 2010, 15:37, Reply)

They are just Blur wannabes.

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 14 May 2010, 15:38, Reply)

You're not wrong there
Their best album however is Arthur..

Some outrageously good singles dotted throughout their career though, ye just canne beat Waterloo Sunset, but also Death of a Clown is a bit fave of mine.
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Fri 14 May 2010, 15:45, Reply)

Aw death of a clown

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 14 May 2010, 15:46, Reply)

Or this
Depends on my mood...
www.youtube.com/watch?v=yDKlobd87NA
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 14 May 2010, 15:06, Reply)

I like this one better.

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Fri 14 May 2010, 15:09, Reply)

I like this a lot.

( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Fri 14 May 2010, 15:23, Reply)

Mine would include
* Jumping out of a plane, wrestling a parachute from some mook, and pulling the cord just in time. I turn to the camera and wink, the sparkle from my shiny white teeth whiting out the screen in a flash, then focusing back to...

* Driving my Honda down a busy street, chasing another hot chick in a Ferrari. I flip my car fully over hers, gracefully spinning it through the air, landing it awesomely, before jumping out of my car INTO hers (while she's doing, like, a Hundred). She gives me road head while I take the wheel, as in the background my Honda explodes, tearing the screen away to show...

* Karate-kicking some massive thug (and his mates) because they were trying to rape this really fit girl, and she gets so wet by seeing me be so manly that she furiously tugs at my trousers to get my immense cock out (whilst I'm still kicking ass, natch). Just as I'm done she pulls up her skirt to reveal her eager wide-on, out of which falls a small CGI ball, which unfolds to...

* Me on my deathbed, surrounded by hot chicks and grateful world leaders (who are also hot chicks) who are thanking me for my various awesome deeds. I'm also totally getting a blowy from the fit nurse. As I pop my final cork in her mouth, and the heart monitor goes "beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep", all the woman cry but are simultaneously foaming at gash with memories of me. The nurse grabs the camera and spits my spunk on it, forming the credits.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 14 May 2010, 15:09, Reply)

Is this Spankyhanky?

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 14 May 2010, 15:14, Reply)

Typical
I hire a film crew to make a montage of my life, and they follow some other wanker.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 14 May 2010, 15:15, Reply)

This could only be improved upon
if instead of the fit girl tugging furiously at your trousers, you were wearing some dungs.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 14 May 2010, 15:14, Reply)

I've created a monster

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 14 May 2010, 15:22, Reply)

you didn't create him
you just unleashed him

you're more like the guys in Jurassic Park 2, than Jurassic Park
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 14 May 2010, 15:27, Reply)

*pats fanny*

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 14 May 2010, 15:27, Reply)

Who's Pat?
And what about it?
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 14 May 2010, 15:38, Reply)

he's a bit nifty with a bat

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 14 May 2010, 15:48, Reply)

Definitely this (from about 1:10)
www.youtube.com/watch?v=sWmjH-lYWEw

An actual montage, ready done for me.

EDIT what you might call a 'Mont-age'. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 14 May 2010, 15:13, Reply)