The Unwritten Rules of School
Well, unwritten until now.

Any student and/or cover teacher must be abused to the point of almost quitting their job.

The school field is mown for the sole pupose of providing ammo for grass fights. (Junior school only).

Pencilcases are the correct place to out someone about their sexuality.
(Cave Duck, Tue 18 May 2010, 11:58, 13 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I liked the student teachers
they still remembered what it was like to be a youth.

Plus I have to say that now I'm an adult I know what it's like to really hate your job so I don't think I can condone trying to make someone quit.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 18 May 2010, 12:06, Reply)

They're not recommendations. Simply an anthology of the guiding principles that shaped our school lives.

(Cave Duck, Tue 18 May 2010, 12:13, Reply)

A full fountain pen must be used at least once to flick ink across the room
Farting on science lab stools is hilarious and must be done at all opportunities
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 18 May 2010, 12:10, Reply)

did you used to collect the little balls that were in the top of ink cartridges?
there seemed to be some kind of unwritten competition about who could get the most. I used to put them in the end of my fountain pen and it would rattle. Must have been so annoying for the teachers.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 18 May 2010, 12:20, Reply)

I once learnt how to make a rudimentary spirit level out of one of those ink cartridges

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 18 May 2010, 12:35, Reply)

After learning how to type BOOBIES into a calculator, maths lessons have nothing of use to offer.
Anyone using a cubicle in the boy's toilets must be subjected to wet bog roll bombs thrown over the top of the partitions.
(Cave Duck, Tue 18 May 2010, 12:17, Reply)

I imagine most B3tards (myself included)
have tried their utmost to forget their school years
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 18 May 2010, 12:22, Reply)

oh god yes.

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 18 May 2010, 12:32, Reply)

The only unwritten rule I remember is
Only cool kids allowed in Gehenna.
( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Tue 18 May 2010, 12:27, Reply)

Contact with girls must be lied about and have the universal points scoring system applied to them.
Universal Points Scoring System

25 - Snogging
50 - Hand on Tits
75 - Hand on Fanny
100 - Having It Off
(Cave Duck, Tue 18 May 2010, 12:37, Reply)

You forgot the variances for touching tit/fanny...
...under or over clothes.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Tue 18 May 2010, 13:27, Reply)

Pfft. Steady on, I've not got past 25 yet.

(Cave Duck, Tue 18 May 2010, 14:57, Reply)

We actually drove a teacher to quit
She used to shout "Sit Down and Shut Up!" Every time she came in the room. We picked up on it and used to chant it en masse back at her. She lasted about 2 weeks.
( Peej, Tue 18 May 2010, 13:43, Reply)