Trebuchet
If you'd just be so kind as to sit in this little swingy bit while I hold up this counterweight...
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 20 May 2010, 10:07, 2 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Have you seen one in action?
Awesome machines.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 20 May 2010, 10:09, Reply)

The display at Warwick Castle is a sight to behold.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 20 May 2010, 10:11, Reply)

Oh yes!
And that's just down the road from me. Saw it lob a big fireball last month.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 20 May 2010, 10:13, Reply)

Took kiddo, her mate and my mate for her birthday in February.
The fireball was awesome. As Monty says, the whole place was just brilliant. The falconry display was great, the rooms and displays interesting and well-presented, character actors were superb and we all really enjoyed ourselves.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 20 May 2010, 10:19, Reply)

Warwick Castle is fucking great.

I am something of a castles fan.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 20 May 2010, 10:15, Reply)

Same here
There's Warwick down the road, and Kenilworth not far either (ruins though).
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 20 May 2010, 10:18, Reply)

I am big fan of Chepstow castle.


NB this is not a euphemism for some repulsive sexual practice.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 20 May 2010, 10:34, Reply)

you may not think it is repulsive....

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 20 May 2010, 10:57, Reply)

Can't say I have
I've just always thought that if I could set up a large net next to my office window and install a trebuchet outside my house, my journey into work would be far more pleasant than a crowded District Line every morning.
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 20 May 2010, 10:11, Reply)

One of my brother's friends
is a rather fucked up aristocrat. He spent one summer building a trebuchet which he set up on the lawn of his parents' country pile, where he used it to fire old pianos across the grounds.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 20 May 2010, 10:10, Reply)

So a bit like the siege of Minas Tirith
but with more pianos and less Orcs. Presumably
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 20 May 2010, 10:11, Reply)

I want to be rich enough to do this

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 20 May 2010, 10:13, Reply)

What a waste of a piano :(

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 20 May 2010, 10:14, Reply)

Several pianos, I understand.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 20 May 2010, 10:15, Reply)

I'd just feel sorry for the groundsman who has to clear up yet another piano
It's got to be one of the more unusual requests.
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 20 May 2010, 10:17, Reply)

* twitches*
I miss my piano.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 20 May 2010, 10:23, Reply)

I should learn to play mine really

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 20 May 2010, 10:24, Reply)

Do do do
It's so wonderfully relaxing.

I've not played in about 8 months. It's actually quite sad :(
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 20 May 2010, 10:28, Reply)

'come on and do the con-gaaaa'

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 20 May 2010, 10:35, Reply)

it's my gf's really
but is just sat in the kitchen. I don't really know how to start. I don't remember how I went about learning guitar....
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 20 May 2010, 10:35, Reply)

Start by listening to Little Richard & Jerry Lee Lewis repeatedly.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 20 May 2010, 10:36, Reply)

that sounds sensible
I'm only interested in that sort of piano playing

that reminds me, I need to re-upload those squirrel tracks. 2nd one has some great honky-tonky piano on the end
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 20 May 2010, 10:39, Reply)

UR JOOLS HOLLAND AICMFP
EDIT I really do want to hear it
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 20 May 2010, 10:41, Reply)

we're quite proud of it
it's got everything you could want

rock
metal (with glorious pinched harmonics)
ambient house
one of the best guitar solos I've ever played.
honky-tonk piano
thunder

everything
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 20 May 2010, 10:45, Reply)

Give the Jim Jones Revue a go, then.
You will fucking love it. JJ is a personal hero of mine from the 80s.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 20 May 2010, 10:41, Reply)

I would like to know
how he orchestrated this.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Thu 20 May 2010, 10:19, Reply)

I'm trying to work out if I should beat you with a frying pan or if that was just an accidental pun.
Accidental? Pianos? Maybe? No.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 20 May 2010, 10:23, Reply)

A little off key.
-but on the scale of things here ...
( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Thu 20 May 2010, 10:24, Reply)

Calm down, no need to lose your tempo.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 20 May 2010, 10:24, Reply)

The appeal of these jokes has rapidly diminished.

(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 20 May 2010, 10:27, Reply)

Well that fell flat.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 20 May 2010, 10:27, Reply)

You're sharp today

( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Thu 20 May 2010, 10:27, Reply)

I know, one cup of coffee and I'm all keyed up

(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 20 May 2010, 10:30, Reply)

Hoping that one gets a chordial reception

(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 20 May 2010, 10:32, Reply)

I could come up with some great ones if you'd give me a minim.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 20 May 2010, 10:34, Reply)

Don't fret, it will.
Just don't string him along.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Thu 20 May 2010, 10:34, Reply)

Give it a rest.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 20 May 2010, 10:35, Reply)

if you keep this up you'll become a quavering wreck

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 20 May 2010, 10:38, Reply)

Ok, we'll talk about something else to bridge the gap.

(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 20 May 2010, 10:39, Reply)

Piano jokes aren't my forte, I'm afraid.

(Cave Duck, Thu 20 May 2010, 10:42, Reply)

*coughs*


*points down*
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 20 May 2010, 10:46, Reply)

We've already had that one
Try to key-p up, old boy.
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 20 May 2010, 10:47, Reply)

Bah. Now it looks like I'm pedalling second hand jokes.

(Cave Duck, Thu 20 May 2010, 10:51, Reply)

Yes, it's tanto-mount to plagiarism

(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 20 May 2010, 10:53, Reply)

I apologise. I'm an upright, if not grand, sort of a chap, normally.

(Cave Duck, Thu 20 May 2010, 11:00, Reply)

Fine.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 20 May 2010, 10:27, Reply)

(I'd award you treble points for the subtlety of that one,
though it does leave me struggling for what to bass my next pun on)
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 20 May 2010, 10:32, Reply)

I take my capo off to you, sir.
I apologise, that was a minor disaster.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 20 May 2010, 10:36, Reply)

Nice one
I'm struggling to breve after that.
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 20 May 2010, 10:37, Reply)

If I were a man
I'd have a semibreve

*winces* Oh that was bad.

Duly noted.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 20 May 2010, 10:39, Reply)

Yeah that was ten(or)uous.
No symphony from me for that one.
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 20 May 2010, 10:41, Reply)

I'll think of alto-native ones

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 20 May 2010, 10:42, Reply)

If you like I can Jota few down for you...

(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 20 May 2010, 10:45, Reply)

It's just the way I conduct myself.
www.sadtrombone.com/
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Thu 20 May 2010, 10:27, Reply)

You have a clef lip'n'palate

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 20 May 2010, 10:36, Reply)

You're going to have to stave off an attack after how horrible that pun was

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 20 May 2010, 10:37, Reply)

Sorry - puns just aren't my forte.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 20 May 2010, 10:38, Reply)

You really are on a (barca)roll(e) today, aren't you?

(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 20 May 2010, 10:40, Reply)

Gigue-us Christ, that was convoluted

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 20 May 2010, 10:41, Reply)

Yeah, they're starting to depart from the realms of common senza...

(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 20 May 2010, 10:42, Reply)

I'm going to punch you in the harpsicord.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 20 May 2010, 10:42, Reply)

Not if I kick you in the seguidilla first

(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 20 May 2010, 10:43, Reply)

You coda thought of a better reply than that, surely?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 20 May 2010, 10:45, Reply)

No(te)

(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 20 May 2010, 10:45, Reply)

this is getting bad
I'm going to have to fire you out of a canon
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 20 May 2010, 10:46, Reply)

Well, it might alleviate
the Te Deum
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 20 May 2010, 10:50, Reply)

These puns are magna opera

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 20 May 2010, 10:57, Reply)