Any Caaaarnish hippes about?
Have a fucking grin at this:

www.cornwallinfocus.co.uk/leisure/showevent.php?id=361

Might be worth a gander.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 27 May 2010, 16:33, 41 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I've never been to Cornwall
another shocking insight
(PsychoChomp, Thu 27 May 2010, 16:36, Reply)

It's quite nice.
Parts of it are total no-go zones though: such as Newquay and Rock, where the world's 'cunt leylines' converge.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 27 May 2010, 16:38, Reply)

I don't know if I could cope with a gig with so many rock puns likely.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 27 May 2010, 16:41, Reply)

that was a horrific sentence

(PsychoChomp, Thu 27 May 2010, 16:43, Reply)

You've posted better...

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 27 May 2010, 16:44, Reply)

I honestly think my IQ drops a point every day until pay day.
Which is tomorrow.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 27 May 2010, 16:45, Reply)

That's lucky
Otherwise you could be classed as 'Clinically retarded'
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Thu 27 May 2010, 16:48, Reply)

xxx

(PsychoChomp, Thu 27 May 2010, 16:53, Reply)

You SOOO want him up inside you like a rat up a drain pipe until he is so far up in you he has come out the other end and gone around on the outside then is back inside you again, 10 times over
Like those tubes of gunk that are hard to catch.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 27 May 2010, 20:14, Reply)

Mine goes the other way
Due to shortage of funds I've had one beer and a 1-skin reefer since Sunday - I'm almost at Hawking Level now*

Bank holiday + payday = brain cell apocalypse


*I'm a spastic
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 27 May 2010, 16:50, Reply)

I am in St Ives at the end of June
Although i'm not sure the wife and kids would be too enamoured at the prospect of some subterranean space rock. I must admit though, when I saw them in 1994 with Aphex Twin as support, which was the reason i was there, i wasn't expecting much. However, by the time they went off, I was completely trollied. Their sound system was superb.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Thu 27 May 2010, 16:41, Reply)

I've seen them maybe 15-20 times
and the 'fucking incredible' to 'disappointingly shit' ratio is about 50:50...
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 27 May 2010, 16:43, Reply)

I had dropped an acid just as they came on
and stood at the side, watching. The combination of the light show, the female dancer with the billowing skirt, the drugs and the pummeling bass left me in quite a condition. I had about ten minutes to regain my composure before Aphex Twin came on and blew the place apart with an eye wateringly angry and destructive live set. One flashback has me standing right at the front, almost everyone else had retreated to the back, beside a guy with a full dog costume on, offering me some Vicks Vaporub.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Thu 27 May 2010, 16:53, Reply)

Hahah good old Hawkwind...

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 27 May 2010, 17:04, Reply)

No, but I just got a new job.
Locumming for around £12 an hour starting next week. Woo and Yay
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Thu 27 May 2010, 16:50, Reply)

Congrats!
Sounds like a nice rate :)
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 27 May 2010, 16:50, Reply)

Fank yoooo

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Thu 27 May 2010, 16:52, Reply)

Attagirl.
That wasn't too hard, was it?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 27 May 2010, 16:51, Reply)

Not when you have a great agency working for you no :)

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Thu 27 May 2010, 16:52, Reply)

agency Pimp
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Thu 27 May 2010, 16:56, Reply)

That too

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Thu 27 May 2010, 17:03, Reply)

that was quick,
congratulations.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 27 May 2010, 16:57, Reply)

Thanks

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Thu 27 May 2010, 17:03, Reply)

So you're going to get your months redundancy
and the pay for this job at the same time?
(PsychoChomp, Thu 27 May 2010, 17:03, Reply)

Yep, hey I could totally sign on as well and milk the system dry.

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Thu 27 May 2010, 17:14, Reply)

Hooraaaaaah!
I knew you'd come up smelling of Quality Street.
No, wait...
You can fuck off for your poignant card now.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 27 May 2010, 16:59, Reply)

God dammit, I want my poignant card
Cheers love :)
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Thu 27 May 2010, 17:02, Reply)

Helen Steiner Rice's
10 Commandments

The personal commandments of Helen Steiner Rice emphasized optimism:

1. Thou shalt be happy

2. Thou shalt use thy talents to make others glad.

3. Thou shalt rise above defeat and trouble.

4. Thou shalt look upon each day as a new day.

5. Thou shalt always do thy best and leave the rest to God.

6. Thou shalt not waste thy time and energy in useless worry.

7. Thou shalt look only on the bright side of life.

8. Thou shalt not be afraid of tomorrow.

9. Thou shalt have a kind word and a kind deed for everyone.

10. Thou shalt say each morning -- I am a child of God and nothing can hurt me.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 27 May 2010, 17:10, Reply)

That's no fucking card I want to receive.

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Thu 27 May 2010, 17:14, Reply)

It's fucking hilarious

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 27 May 2010, 17:15, Reply)

Are you absolutely sure?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 27 May 2010, 17:16, Reply)

No, this is

Thou shalt not steal if there is direct victim.
Thou shalt not worship pop idols or follow lost prophets.
Thou shalt not take the names of Johnny Cash, Joe Strummer, Johnny Hartman, Desmond Decker, Jim Morrison, Jimi Hendrix or Syd Barret in vain.
Thou shalt not think that any male over the age of 30 that plays with a child that is not their own is a peadophile... Some people are just nice.
Thou shalt not read NME.
Thou shalt not stop liking a band just because they've become popular.
Thou shalt not question Stephen Fry.
Thou shalt not judge a book by it's cover.
Thou shalt not judge Lethal Weapon by Danny Glover.
Thou shalt not buy Coca-Cola products.
Thou shalt not buy Nestle products.
Thou shalt not go into the woods with your boyfriend's best friend, take drugs and cheat on him.
Thou shalt not fall in love so easily.
Thou shalt not use poetry, art or music to get into girls' pants.
Use it to get into their heads.
Thou shalt not watch Hollyokes.
Thou shalt not attend an open mic and leave before it's done just because you've finished your shitty little poem or song you self-righteous prick.
Thou shalt not return to the same club or bar week in, week out just 'cause you once saw a girl there that you fancied but you're never gonna fucking talk to.
Thou shalt not put musicians and recording artists on ridiculous pedestals no matter how great they are or were.
The Beatles... Were just a band.
Led Zepplin... Just a band.
The Beach Boys... Just a band.
The Sex Pistols... Just a band.
The Clash... Just a band.
Crass... Just a band.
Minor Threat... Just a band.
The Cure... Just a band.
The Smiths... Just a band.
Nirvana... Just a band.
The Pixies... Just a band.
Oasis... Just a band.
Radiohead... Just a band.
Bloc Party... Just a band.
The Arctic Monkeys... Just a band.
The Next Big Thing.. JUST A BAND.

Thou shalt give equal worth to tragedies that occur in non-english speaking countries as to those that occur in english speaking countries.
Thou shalt remember that guns, bitches and bling were never part of the four elements and never will be.
Thou shalt not make repetitive generic music,
thou shalt not make repetitive generic music,
thou shalt not make repetitive generic music,
thou shalt not make repetitive generic music.

Thou shalt not pimp my ride.
Thou shalt not scream if you wanna go faster.
Thou shalt not move to the sound of the wickedness.
Thou shalt not make some noise for Detroit.
When I say "Hey" thou shalt not say "Ho".
When I say "Hip" thou shalt not say "Hop".
When I say, he say, she say, we say, make some noise... kill me.
Thou shalt not quote me happy.
Thou shalt not shake it like a polaroid picture.
Thou shalt not wish you girlfriend was a freak like me.
Thou shalt spell the word "Pheonix" P-H-E-O-N-I-X not P-H-O-E-N-I-X, regardless of what the Oxford English Dictionary tells you.
Thou shalt not express your shock at the fact that Sharon got off with Bradley at the club last night by saying "Is it".

Thou shalt think for yourselves.

And thou shalt always... Thou shalt always kill!
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Thu 27 May 2010, 17:23, Reply)

Line 8 contains a superfluous apostrophe.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 27 May 2010, 17:30, Reply)

Everything I understood, I agree with.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 27 May 2010, 17:37, Reply)

I don't agree with the spelling.
It's execrable.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 27 May 2010, 17:42, Reply)

But you know I don't understand spelling
So my original comment stands m'lud.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 27 May 2010, 17:52, Reply)

According go a 2008/2009 government report, violent crimes were not said to increase, or decrease.
But from 2001 to 2008 hey were recorded to increase by 228%, so that has marked 2008s cards as desensitise. And although statistics can be twisted, and this might seem over simplistic, but we've got to join together and resist this.

I've moved on from dan le sac to Plan B now as "the albums I have repeated on all day, every day" while working, but at keast once every coupke of days I listen to both of them.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 27 May 2010, 20:22, Reply)

11. Thou shalt not post shit like this ever again.


...if thou knowest what is good for thee.

EDIT If you do, you will discover how misguided point 8 is.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 27 May 2010, 17:14, Reply)

It's fucking hilarious

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 27 May 2010, 17:15, Reply)

Are you absolutely sure?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 27 May 2010, 17:16, Reply)

Is that ironic hilarious, or hilarious hilarious?
Because mindless happiness is a sign of an empty skull.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 27 May 2010, 17:41, Reply)