The below story comes from Cassius Dio, so is probably guff.
Cicero was an annoying cunt. I think who know me know my feelings about this particular little upstart twat.

So, he got assassinated for being a twat. Thank you Mark Anthony. He was put on the proscription list (a list of names where if you saw them, you could kill them without fear of reprimand.) The people who killed him cut off his right hand and head, as his right hand had written so many shitty things. They displayed the hand and head on the Rostra in the Forum. Mark Anthony's wife drew out Cicero's tongue and stabbed it with her hairpin as a revenge for all the spiteful things he'd said.

Good fucking riddance.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 31 May 2010, 16:32, 2 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Mark Antony was also a frightful cunt, was he not?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 31 May 2010, 16:36, Reply)

Not an area of history I know very much about.
Helping bump off Cicero puts him in my good books.

I'm shockingly badly read.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 31 May 2010, 16:37, Reply)

He was vulgar, a cad and a thoroughgoing bounder, if I remember correctly.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 31 May 2010, 16:43, Reply)

He was a massive cunt
but a pretty damn good leader.

But my heart lies with Julius Caesar
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 31 May 2010, 16:45, Reply)

Those two attributes often go hand in hand, do they not?
Churchill was a fucking nightmare. That Hitler chappie, too, I'll bet.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 31 May 2010, 16:48, Reply)

they do
but Julius Caesar wasn't a cunt, and he was even better than Mark Antony. And Augustus was better than them both without very much bad behaviour
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 31 May 2010, 16:49, Reply)

I went off Augustus
when I found out he wore built-up shoes, the Sarkozy-esque twat.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 31 May 2010, 16:53, Reply)

he didn't generally
And he also slept on a bed hard enough to be a slaves. And ate frugally. And only had a golden laurel outside his house to signify his importance. That was it. What a man
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 31 May 2010, 16:54, Reply)

All self-generated PR stories I'll bet.
Much like Gandhi's 'ooh, I'm such an Indian peasant' schtick, the public-school educated kiddy-fiddling fraud.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 31 May 2010, 17:10, Reply)

It wasn't lies with Augustus
I bet. Though I may be blinded by admiration, and he did behave quite shittily to the Julias
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 31 May 2010, 17:12, Reply)

I thought he ate frugally
because the weed had constant digestive troubles - this may have been gleaned from a historical novel, though.

When you reach my age you forget such vital things as where you read something...
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 31 May 2010, 17:19, Reply)

He was quite fragile when he was younger
and had a bad illness once, so he did take quite good care of himself. It paid off though
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 31 May 2010, 17:22, Reply)

A weedy midget poof, then.
You're not really selling the chap, I have to say...
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 31 May 2010, 17:24, Reply)

He wasn't short
not really. Nor weedy. He was a golden youth who grew up to be an amazing leader. Three Cheers for ancient historical crushes!
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 31 May 2010, 17:48, Reply)

When you reach your age
You forget your own fucking age, Monters old bean.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 31 May 2010, 18:06, Reply)

This is demonstrably so, is it not, my dear Davvers?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 31 May 2010, 18:10, Reply)

Certainly is old chap.
Why, only yesterday I was convinced I was only 25, and proceeded to drink my own body weight in beer from 3pm - 1am.

Oh, how they laughed in A&E when they informed me that my medical records stated I was, in fact, pushing 40, and should really know better by now.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 31 May 2010, 18:15, Reply)

My favourite leader probably is Cath the Great
She was awesome.

Just that Russia will never work, the size that it is.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 31 May 2010, 16:48, Reply)

Mine is Genghis Khan by a country mile.
I fucking HEART Genghis Khan, big time.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 31 May 2010, 16:50, Reply)

Lycurgus, if he ever existed, would have been pretty awesome.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 31 May 2010, 16:52, Reply)

Nah
what a total bastard
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 31 May 2010, 16:54, Reply)

Don't knock the Spartans
they were awesome.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 31 May 2010, 16:54, Reply)

some of them were true
but Lycurgus doesn't sound very pleasant (fictitious obviously)
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 31 May 2010, 16:56, Reply)

I used to know the Great Rhetra off by heart
not hard, as it's like 5 lines long

I love Simonides' epigram at Thermopylae. It's one of my favourite snippits of poetry
"Go tell the Spartans, passer by
that here, according to their laws, we lie"
Ὦ ξεῖν', ἀγγέλλειν Λακεδαιμονίοις ὅτι τῇδε
κείμεθα, τοῖς κείνων ῥήμασι πειθόμενοι.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 31 May 2010, 16:59, Reply)

When I watched 300
I was annoyed they got the translation wrong I seem to remember. It's such an evocative piece of writing
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 31 May 2010, 17:11, Reply)

If you frequently reminded yourself
that it was an adaptation of a comic book rather than of ancient texts, the whole shoddy thing was a lot easier to cope with, I found.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 31 May 2010, 17:14, Reply)

I've not seen 300
it's what most people say when I say I'm interested in Sparta.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 31 May 2010, 17:19, Reply)

I laughed
when the Spartans contemptuously called the Athenians 'boy-lovers' in the film. Pot, kettle, black anyone?
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 31 May 2010, 17:21, Reply)

While hammered on Friday
I remember lecturing the poor boy I was with on anal sex.

I may have been preaching to the converted.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 31 May 2010, 17:22, Reply)

Haha
were you lecturing him on the evils? Given your 'big three' attitude.
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 31 May 2010, 17:24, Reply)

It was scary
I mentioned smack, and said it was part of the 3 things I'd never do.

One of the people we were with replied with "So, it's smack, anal and what?"

I almost had a fit. HOW DID HE KNOWWWWWW
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 31 May 2010, 17:25, Reply)

That is a tiny bit scary

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 31 May 2010, 17:34, Reply)

Apparently girls don't like anal
He may have found out the hard way.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 31 May 2010, 17:38, Reply)

As an Emperor
I love Augustus, though I also have some love for Vespasian.
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 31 May 2010, 16:53, Reply)

Trajan always appealed to me.
I cannot remember why, though. Mind you Nero was nowhere near as bad as history traditionally paints him. He was a knob and a deviant, but did much for the architecture of Rome as opposed to beings its destroyer, it is now thought, I understand?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 31 May 2010, 16:56, Reply)

Haha I did an essay on that
and the conclusion I came too was that while Nero did indeed contribute to architecture, that it wasn't the public that was the beneficiary. And he was still a massive cunt
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 31 May 2010, 16:58, Reply)

Who cares about the public?
If you wander about in Bucharest, you cannot fail to be impressed by Ceacescu's building works, built with the blood of his people or not.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 31 May 2010, 17:02, Reply)

well
if you're going to evaluate an Emperor, then you need to.

After all some biographers argue that Nero was positing a cultural transition shift, from a military focus to a cultural one. I say that's a load of nonsense, he was an insane wanker who was herded in at the beginning, then broke out at the end
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 31 May 2010, 17:04, Reply)

I evaluate Emperors thusly:
1. Were they mental?
3. Did they commission huge engineering or architectural works?
4. Were they a sadist and ideally an incest-monger?
5. Did they slaughter any innocents?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 31 May 2010, 17:07, Reply)

As I remember
Ronald Symes wasn't a big fan of Cicero either
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 31 May 2010, 16:44, Reply)

The cunt went to Oriel :(

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 31 May 2010, 16:48, Reply)

Who,
Cicero?

EDIT: I was joking, you oafs.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 31 May 2010, 16:48, Reply)

Ronald Syme
BITTER? ME? NO


I know. I have no sense of humour
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 31 May 2010, 16:51, Reply)

At least you left your reply up
UNLIKE SOME.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 31 May 2010, 17:15, Reply)

I was looking for corrobative evidence
and couldn't find any. And I'd rather the world didn't know my college on second thoughts
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 31 May 2010, 17:20, Reply)

Heh I noticed that
DELETION
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 31 May 2010, 17:20, Reply)

it wouldn't matter if you saw it
but as I said above, bit silly broadcasting my college. Paranoid ON THE INTERNET
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 31 May 2010, 17:23, Reply)

I'll come and stalk you.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 31 May 2010, 17:23, Reply)

I'm posting from my scary white van
I'M ALREADY ON MY WAY.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 31 May 2010, 17:28, Reply)

Locked gates though!

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 31 May 2010, 17:29, Reply)

Oxy-acetylene torch though!

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 31 May 2010, 17:33, Reply)

touché
I'll be the one cowering in fear
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 31 May 2010, 17:52, Reply)