Who the fuck is Derrick Bird?

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 15:51, 2 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

He went on a killing spree around Cumbria this afternoon

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 15:53, Reply)

Oh, right. I was thinking of doing that
What's the joke?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 15:54, Reply)

Derrick Bird has been called up to the England squad by Fabio Capello.

He has had more shots on target in one day that Emile Heskey has all season.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 15:55, Reply)

I was going to say something about last of the summer wine but I can't get the wording right
something like: "BBC should have realised the consequnces to rural communities before they axed last of the summer wine"
(PsychoChomp, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 15:58, Reply)

That would be funnier
if it wasn't painfully true

I sense this isn't the place to open a debate about the various merits of the members of the England World Cup squad
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 15:58, Reply)

Don't start about Heskey or I'll be venting with you.
Glad they left Walcott behind though, good call.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 16:15, Reply)

Heskey is the Candyman

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 16:16, Reply)

That might explain why Capello plays him
I'm fed up of hearing how Rooney scores more while playing with Heskey, it's because he has to do two strikers' work! When he plays with Crouch, the latter scores the goals Heskey doesn't
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 16:23, Reply)

heskey is and always has been shit
he can barely fucking stand up, let alone score.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 16:27, Reply)

It's because of his massive FUCKING HEAD
it's filled with cement.

~:-$

Just been sent another

"Vanessa Perroncel: Statistically better at going through defenders than Emile Heskey."
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 16:34, Reply)

The only benefit to his existence that I can see
is that Capello likes him, and he seems to know what he's about
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 16:36, Reply)

that moron who managed liverpool liked Heskey too
(had to look up his name: Houllier) and he was shit.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 16:40, Reply)

Worryingly
Martin O'Neill (ex-Forest, let's not forget), who definitely knows his onions, leaves Heskey on the bench
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 16:45, Reply)

Hahah brilliant
'Derrick B is a bad young brother'
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 16:23, Reply)

REED DUH NEWZ

(PsychoChomp, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 15:54, Reply)