Shit folks ... that's awful
Just wanted to send my interweb love to all of you not-so-merry b3tans who might be affected by the Cumbrian massacre.

Jeez ... the Cumbrian massacre sounds like something you were set to study at O level Ancient History.

I just spent all morning feeling miserable over a fight with my husband (over nothing) a week ago which is still simmering away. Then I boot up my computer to realise that the most beautiful place in England is littered with corpses with stunned expressions on what's left of their faces.

Shit guys ... just ... shit.
(Que?, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 4:06, 56 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Ain't nothing special really, so meh.
Looks like a family feud that went wrong, and one of parties had a couple of guns handy.

I really can't be bothered. Apologies if someone you knew just had there head blown clean off.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 7:04, Reply)

Agreed.
It's sad but it's no national tragedy, at least not like Sky and the BBC are trying to make it out to be.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 7:27, Reply)

Mornin' Noel
How's life?
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 7:44, Reply)

Life is pretty fucking excellent thanks old boy!
How about you?
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 8:00, Reply)

Not bad, Ta.
I'd like to complain about loads of stuff but I can't be arsed. I'm looking forward to destroying my partner's concrete garden shed on the weekend. I have a sledge hammer waiting, but will try with a spanner first, just to make it look like I'm doing it properly.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 8:06, Reply)

What the fudge?
He shot more than 35 people, I'd say that was pretty tragic, and since when do you get to decide on the severity of other people's misery?

Noel, I strongly suggest that you put away your copy of counselling for dummies, and pick up 'how not to be an insensitive twat for fuckwits' instead
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 8:06, Reply)

Bert said that... to someone else...
What happened to the world? Did I miss a meeting!?
( djtrialprice, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 8:11, Reply)

The time's are a-changing and no mistake.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 8:14, Reply)

Yes, you did Trialprice
The one where we all decided that it's ok to joke about nasty stuff, but to genuinely complain about the deaths of several people being covered on the news makes you a bit of a tit.

Maybe it's just the coverage mr noel's moaning about, but in that case DON'T FUCKING WATCH IT. Nobody's forcing you to, so complaining about the media covering an out of the ordinary event just makes you a monumental fuckwit
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 8:16, Reply)

Morning Bert.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 8:27, Reply)

Morning, Noel
You ought to be ashamed of yourself
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 8:37, Reply)

I'm permanently ashamed Bert.
It's my face, you see.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 8:48, Reply)

I went to Whitehaven once.
All I got was this bloody t-shirt.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Thu 3 Jun 2010, 8:13, Reply)

Shush, you'll upset Bert.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 8:14, Reply)

Pffft
secretly I'm just using this as an excuse to get back at him for calling me unfunny the other day, but I do still think I'm right
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 8:19, Reply)

I thought it was.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 8:22, Reply)

Teeheehee
but you ought to be ashamed of yourself too
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 8:40, Reply)

For many reasons, but not for my original comment
It is really a kick in the direction of the media, who are blowing it up into some massive national tragedy. I wish I owned a florists in Cumbria today, I'd make a fortune.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 8:52, Reply)

YOU DON'T HAVE TO WATCH
In fact, if more people didn't watch the over-sensationalised shite on the news, they'd stop making it.
Vote with your fingers, people, or get out and do something instead
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 9:00, Reply)

I didn't watch any of it, just what I heard on Radio 4
and quickly channel hopped away from later.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 9:03, Reply)

So you're complaining about coverage you haven't even seen?
I think my head's about to explode
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 9:07, Reply)

I have not complained about the quantity of coverage
but am guessing at the low quality of it.

Please don't explode on my account.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 9:09, Reply)

It's too late
I'm getting my rifle
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 9:14, Reply)

Shit happens.

( girlinthehole, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 8:25, Reply)

More online insensitivity
Over the deaths of several people, and the serious injury of many others?

What's happened to you lot since I've been gone?
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 8:39, Reply)

We crucified all the people who get up in arms when strangers die

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 8:40, Reply)

I'm not getting up in arms
Right now I'm just a little bemused.

Has the world really become so desensitised by the never-ending barrage of media shite that when a story like this comes along, all the see are the numbers, and have no empathy for the real human lives that have been ended or deeply effected by it?
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 8:43, Reply)

It is entirely possible
I know for a fact that I'm desensitised to most things. Also, people who cry and moan about such events when they haven't lost anyone dear to them annoy me. Doubly so if the dead person was a celebrity.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 8:47, Reply)

Give it a rest Bert.
We're not buying this new found sensitive side.
( girlinthehole, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 8:40, Reply)

I'm not selling it
I just thought that of all places that were likely to have a little sympathy for the victims of a serious shooting, it would be Off Topic
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 8:46, Reply)

Have you seen the popular page?

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 8:49, Reply)

I think the perspective on the reclining figure is excellent.

( girlinthehole, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 8:51, Reply)

It's an MSPaint masterpiece and no mistake.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 8:52, Reply)

The grey socks though, tragic.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 8:54, Reply)

Are you referring to the images that were posted yesterday?
I loved them, I wish we'd had more, but that's not the point.

You claimed to be training yourself to become a counsellor, you gave advice on techniques you'd learned, and told us all how it's best just to listen, and yet here you are having kicked me while I was down, complaining about the inconveneient news coverage of the deaths of several people.
I don't think it shows you in the best light, Noel. If I were captain of the HMS Therapy, I'd keel-haul you til your tits fell off
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 8:58, Reply)

He's only reading a Dummies book
Not like he's going to end up qualified or anything.

Good keel hauling though.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 9:02, Reply)

This is true
I've read a dummies book on car repair, but it sure as hell doesn't make me a mechanic
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 9:04, Reply)

I'm just glad of the attention, really.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 9:06, Reply)

Buy a gun then, and get ready to rumble.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 9:11, Reply)

Make sure it's a "single barrelled shotgun with a scope"
As one eye-witness described it...
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 9:17, Reply)

It's a tragedy
But it won't affect my day. I'm just waiting for the Daily Mail to pin it on Grand Theft Auto.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 8:39, Reply)

I remember when I was listening to my mp3 player
on random in the car. Head Radio from GTA3 came on and I started concentrating a lot more and repeated "Don't mount the pavement. Don't mount the pavement. There are no such things as Unique Jumps..." etc.
( djtrialprice, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 8:54, Reply)

It was all Taxi Drivers fault.
Just took a while. They'e not that quick in Cumbria.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Thu 3 Jun 2010, 8:56, Reply)

Are you looking at me?

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 8:57, Reply)

Face it, Bird
You ain't no stinking Dunblane
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 9:15, Reply)

There it is.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 9:17, Reply)

Cheers Noel
Thanks for playing
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 9:33, Reply)

irrespective of the massacre
Cumbria isn't the most beautiful place in England
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 9:18, Reply)

How dare you?
First, some cunt insults the memory of the victims then you slag off their county. You're a horrible, horrible man Vipros.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 9:21, Reply)

All I'm saying is that you don't get killing sprees in the South West
(the real south west, not fucking gloucester, or dorset)
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 9:27, Reply)

It's hard to operate firearms with webbed fingers.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 9:30, Reply)

you have no idea...

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 9:37, Reply)

Gimmie a couple of weeks will you
People will think I'm just jumping on the bandwaggon
( Peej, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 9:43, Reply)

In my Top 5 News Stories
"Row Theory over Cumbria Rampage" is followed by "Police find missing woman remains" and then "teacher's disciplinary body axed". Those poor bastards disciplined the wrong teacher, obviously.

Also, missing woman remains what? Missing?
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 9:42, Reply)

I didin't know about it until a friend told me.
I instantly thought "Hungerford & Dunblane". Everyone here is "Columbine". But for it to happen in the UK....well, it's just not done, is it?
Sad for everyone that's suffering from it, though. No matter where you are, something like that.....just fucking sucks.....whether it's here in the States or back home in the UK.
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 9:47, Reply)

The BBC 'Special News Report' was disgusting
Crass, weird, ghoul-fodder.
That cyclist cunt in the yellow t-shirt needs to shut his trap, going on about the woman's gurgling sounds and how something was missing from her head, and how 'things that shouldn't be outside' were spilling out of her. That is not fucking news.
I'm not arsed personally but if I was family I'd be fuming at the lack of privacy and dignity. And more importantly IT'S NOT NEWS.
TMI, you 15 minutes of fame yellow t-shirt nasal-voiced cock.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 9:53, Reply)