I upset my wife daily
This morning I made her a packed lunch as normal and placed it on the table next to her work bag. She drove off forgetting it. When she got to work an noticed she had no lunch she told me I needed to be better organised in the mornings. I told her to make her own fucking sandwiches then.
( Peej, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 11:31, 4 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Is your wife really that bonkers?
Or are you trying out characters for a sit-com?
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 11:34, Reply)

Sometimes she really is that bonkers yes

( Peej, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 11:43, Reply)

Fair play
Ms Foxtrot was criticising my washing up technique the other day, specifically pertaining to the rinse. I told her that although I understood the principles of vegetarianism I wouldn't lecture her on being a vegetarian because I've never put it into practice, and she would be well advised to remember this if she wants to eat off a clean plate ever again
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 11:34, Reply)

Why didn't you put it in her work bag?
It's because you're sleeping with her sister isn't it?
(PsychoChomp, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 11:41, Reply)

Hmmmm her sister look like as cross between my wife and her brother
I think my wife got all the looks, her brother all the brains and her sister was Danny DeVito in twins
( Peej, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 11:44, Reply)

That must be rubbish
I often feel sorry for my friend Lauren's younger sister, who presumably introduces prospective boyfriends to her vastly superior sibling and watches their affection for her wane more quickly than you can say "ding dong"
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 11:54, Reply)

I knew a family where there were 4 sisters, 3 stick thin 1 fat.
much hilarity was had.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 11:58, Reply)

luckily my sister is too young
for my boyfriends to have that reaction to. Hopefully
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 11:59, Reply)

Unless of course
you date a paedophile.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 12:05, Reply)

In which case you'll probably be glad you found out early

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 12:05, Reply)

Indeed
Just so long as it's early enough.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 12:06, Reply)

true
but I'm generally quite picky, I reckon I'd spot paedophilic tendancies quite fast
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 12:07, Reply)

Not to suggest that we're dating or owt
but you've had quite a lot of communication with me and have yet to establish that I'm a bestial necrophiliac
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 12:09, Reply)

I spotted that instantly

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 12:15, Reply)

I did make it a lot easier for you by digging up and fucking your cat
No smuggery appropriate here
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 12:19, Reply)

I had guessed
but to each his own, as long as he isn't dating me
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 12:23, Reply)

Does that mean I should cancel our table at Nando's tonight?

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 12:28, Reply)

yup
the smell of dead cat lingers around you still, and Vipros's tears would reproach me
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 12:29, Reply)

Dang
How long do I need to go without buggering a deceased animal before you'll date me?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 12:32, Reply)

Should have known you'd pick up Mr Moore.
I feel less like one who treads alone.
( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Fri 18 Jun 2010, 12:52, Reply)

hang on...
what?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 12:53, Reply)

I know a family like that
turned out when daddy was in the gulf war his missus had an immaculate conception.
( Peej, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 12:00, Reply)

Pfft
Immaculate conceptions don't happen here. Only on Tattooine
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 12:05, Reply)

Hang on, I know this one
it's one of those Jack Spratt type nursery rhymes, isn't it?
(Cave Duck, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 12:03, Reply)

two of my sister's boyfriends have said "wow I'm dating the wrong sister"
they were kidding but I like to wheel it out to upset her every so often.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 12:01, Reply)

fucking hell, how wrong must she be for you to be right?

(PsychoChomp, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 12:03, Reply)

that was a bit harsh,
sorry kitty please forgive me.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 12:13, Reply)

What, no mouseover?

( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Fri 18 Jun 2010, 12:19, Reply)

No, I'm being nice.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 12:20, Reply)

These twins I know - girls -
One is very pretty, the other is bloody georgeous.
They are 17, and the merely very pretty one is starting to shrink away from lads precisely for this reason. Doesn't help that the georgeous one has a great personality too.
Yet the pretty-but-pouty one doesn't seem to realise most girls would swop looks with her.
( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Fri 18 Jun 2010, 12:03, Reply)

yeah
but they'd swap looks with her sister even faster. And she's not being compared to most girls, she's being compared to someone in the same house. The same sort of thing is happening with my sisters (who are closer in age to each other 16 and 15, than they are to me)
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 12:06, Reply)

I think she has been unreasonable in this case,
but as a fellow packed lunch provider. I think a well timed "How did you enjoy your lunch." is usually a good diffuser.
(Cave Duck, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 12:00, Reply)

"How did you enjoy your lunch." Karate chop to the neck
( Peej, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 12:04, Reply)

*writes down*
Boy, is she gonna get a surprise tonight.
(Cave Duck, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 12:18, Reply)