facebook statuses and comments worry me
this is what someone wrote on my friend's (I use the term very loosely, I don't know this woman) wall:
"saz tht nobhead graeme wont remove pics ov me n bradley frm his profile wen i dnt wana even knw hm n hes newt tew do wi me n bradley....help plz xx hw do i gt em off?? xxx"

WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN?!
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 14:23, 3 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I could translate literally
but what it means essentially is "I am a stupid cunt"
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 14:24, Reply)

I understand the theory behind text speak
because you're limited in space. However, I can't stand people who use it when typing and they have all the characters in the world. Further, why lengthen words ffs?! What the hell is tew?! Also, ov?! OV?! FUCKING OV?! *embolises*
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 14:25, Reply)

My mum used to send me one-word text responses
As she thought she got charged by the letter.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 14:27, Reply)

hahaha
I tried to explain text speak to my mum because she used to send me 3 page long messages. She didn't quite understand it and now abbreviates words in odd ways. C and U are always capitalised. The word something is spelled s'thng. Cambridge is C'bdge. Etc. It takes me a while to decipher them.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 14:31, Reply)

Christ, you should read my housemate's emails
It's not that he abbreviates in strange ways or anything, he just types like a spasticated child in boxing gloves and doesn't bother to go back to check spelling or punctuation. If I have to forward them to people it's usually with the header "Translations available free of charge on request."
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 14:40, Reply)

It is one of my greatest pet hates
I can't stand text speak even to save space - just send two texts, most people have more free than they can use anyway - but with email etc it's completely unacceptable. If anyone came on here and used text speak I'd, I'd, well, I can't think of anything remotely threatening, but, ooh, they wouldn't enjoy it, whatever it was
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 14:31, Reply)

I'd make full use of the wide and varied facilities that the internet provides
To SLANDER THEIR REPUTATION.
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 14:44, Reply)

Vicious
Remind me never to provoke you into a battle of wits. Or a barfight. I bet you go right for the knackers
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 14:54, Reply)

took 3 reads to decipher it
"Dear Saz,
the bounder Graeme will not remove photographs of Bradley and me from his profile. I have no desire to know the aforementioned Graeme; he has nothing to with Bradley and me. I would appreciate your assistance in removing said photographs."
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 14:25, Reply)

Bradley and me. On both counts.
you're no better than she!

*flounces*
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 14:28, Reply)

what's wrong with Bradley and I?
edit: thinking further on it, you are right. "I" am not the subject
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 14:29, Reply)

You're both complete arses

(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 14:31, Reply)

hahaha

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 14:32, Reply)

Oi!
Less of that
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 14:32, Reply)

I was referring to Bradley and Vipros
_{Edit: Mainly Vipros}
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 14:33, Reply)

oh right
in that case, carry on.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 14:36, Reply)

because if you remove the word 'Bradley' from the sentence it doesn't make sense
you wouldn't say "photos of I".
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 14:32, Reply)

you are right
it was a temporary aberration for which I apologise profusely
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 14:35, Reply)

It's "and I" if you would normally say "I" if it was just you
In this instance if Bradley were not involved it would be "me" so it should be "Bradley and me"

EDIT: Damn your grammatical speed O'Hara!
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 14:32, Reply)

ha grammar double teaming

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 14:32, Reply)

Oh, the mental images

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 14:33, Reply)

hot

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 14:35, Reply)

You're the one getting double teamed mate

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 14:36, Reply)

that's what I mean

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 14:38, Reply)

So the idea of getting double teamed by me - ME - and Kitty, whilst we correct your grammar mistakes, turns you on?

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 14:40, Reply)

I'm hot enough to make up for your presence

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 14:42, Reply)

this is true

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 14:42, Reply)

Kitty O'Hara
"Hot enough to eclipse even the biggest bumder"...?
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 14:45, Reply)

Aye
I deflect his gayness, like a forcefield.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 14:48, Reply)

it's an impressive talent

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 14:48, Reply)

I've told you not to share your pet name for my cock

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 14:49, Reply)

that doesn't make any sense

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 14:50, Reply)

It did in my head
and now I regret it
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 14:53, Reply)

So all that you see is a corona of GAY around the outside of Kitty's eclipsing aura as she double-teams you and your grammar?

(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 14:49, Reply)

a very thin corona
almost imperceptible. You can appreciate how impressive that is given the overwhelming radiance that is Darth's homosexuality.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 14:51, Reply)

I can't believe you haven't changed your sig yet
Or tried to bottle it and sell it.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 14:48, Reply)

done.

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 15:21, Reply)

I Am Weasel.

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 14:33, Reply)

U R baboon

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 14:44, Reply)

You don't need pants for the victory dance
coz Baboon's better than Weasel.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 14:48, Reply)

I'd forgotten all about I Am Weasel
was it tagged on to some other cartoon?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 14:49, Reply)

Cat-Dog?

( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 14:50, Reply)

I saw it on Cartoon Network
It was at the same time as Johnny Bravo, Dexter's Lab, the Powerpuff Girls and Cow & Chicken.

My favourite episode is when I R Baboon erases the law of gravity so gravity disappears. Then when a fridge is floating over I M Weasel he writes it back in again.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 14:52, Reply)

Dexter's Lab was ace
I recall a great one where he kept putting off learning french for an exam, and ended up using a sleep-learning device with a record on it. The record unfortunately kept skipping when it got to "omelette du fromage" so that became all he could say.

this lead to him passing the exam, and various other things like becoming a massive hero in france, but when he gets back to his lab he can't say the password so it self-destructs.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 14:56, Reply)

haha that's win
I love Dexter. Will said I remind him of DeeDee though because I skip along through the house making a mess and causing destruction. Hmph.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 14:57, Reply)

I can imagine that
you look kind of like her
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 15:00, Reply)

damn you!

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 15:21, Reply)

It means you need to defriend them

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 14:25, Reply)

In fact
You should probably defriend anyone with the name "Bradley."
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 14:26, Reply)

one person redeems the name
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bradley_Nowell

awesome band. shame he died of an overdose. the muppet.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 14:29, Reply)

When I put my pole classes up a load of girls friended me to ask about the classes
and I didn't want to be all snooty so I added them back. I am filled with regret. And pickles.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 14:29, Reply)

Pickles the drummer from Dethklok?

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 14:32, Reply)

no, Sainsbury's basic pickle
close though.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 14:33, Reply)