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Are you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.
(
rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Cars are boring
Help me persuade Wiggy to go on Come Dine With Me.
Or, tell me what show you would like to be on.
(
Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 12:43,
255 replies,
latest was 16 years ago)
I'd like to be on Top Gear
and do a lap of the track in the reasonable priced car
(
TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 12:47,
Reply)
I would like to do that.
I want to feel the Stig up to see if it's a woman.
(
Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 12:49,
Reply)
I've almost convinced the nuggets
that chickenlady has a part-time job as the stig.
(
Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Tue 29 Jun 2010, 12:50,
Reply)
Did they fire the rally driver guy after he used it to hit on some woman?
His name was Ben something I think
(
Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 12:51,
Reply)
Thought it was because he wrote a book going
I'M THE STIG!!!!
(
TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 13:28,
Reply)
that was the first Stig
Perry something. He was black Stig. They replaced him with white Stig after he blabbed
(
Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 13:57,
Reply)
Mythbusters!!
Or QI, but I don't think I would be able to follow them.
(
Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 29 Jun 2010, 12:53,
Reply)
I hate Alan Davies
he annoys me with his cute little 'aren't I charming' act when really he's a twat.
(
Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 12:55,
Reply)
I think he's a twat too
But Stephen Fry compensates for all the twatiness in the studio. I could go to QI instead of AD. I can be the perfect twat. They can make fun of me and everything, and I'd lose all the time.
(
Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 29 Jun 2010, 12:58,
Reply)
I'd spend my time trying to turn Stephen Fry
I love him.
(
Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 13:00,
Reply)
Me too
But we'd have such a hard time turning him, even together, even with Appelbite. We need to plan this carefully. Maybe dress as guys and play with him, and at the moment of the truth: surprise!
(
Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 29 Jun 2010, 13:03,
Reply)
haha yeah like the ladyboys of Bangkok only in reverse
(
Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 13:05,
Reply)
Exactly
We can take some toys with us and play with him, if he really needs them after we've used our flesh on him.
(
Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 29 Jun 2010, 13:08,
Reply)
I wanna be Gok'ed.
I wanna be Gok'ed hard. I want a capsule wardrobe of 20 pieces of clothing that will make me irresistable. I want to stand in front of a 3-way mirror while Gok tells me how lovely all my squidgy bits are and then give me a hug.
(
girlinthehole, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 13:00,
Reply)
aww you should totally go on it.
Or get Trinny and Susannah to have you standing naked in the middle of London, or whatever it is they do. Usually seems to involve nudity.
(
Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 13:01,
Reply)
If he can get that Desperate Dan jawed female bouncer to look good then he can help me.
I don't like Trinny and Susannah. They're harpies.
(
girlinthehole, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 13:05,
Reply)
Then, why don't you try?
howtolookgoodnaked.com/blog/2009/05/20/want-to-be-on-how-to-look-good-naked/
(
Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 29 Jun 2010, 13:09,
Reply)
Nah! I hate being the centre of attention.
(
girlinthehole, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 13:13,
Reply)
that's how I feel about Come Dine With Me
I'd love to go on it but then nearer the time I'll start to get really nervous and then panic.
(
Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 13:15,
Reply)
But he'd make you look awsome
and you won't feel bad about being the centre of anything. You'll be great!
(
Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 29 Jun 2010, 13:19,
Reply)
they have the worst fashion sense, it's just hypocritical!
(
Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 13:10,
Reply)
You see?
I thought of calling him for you, as a big surprise, but then thought that not everybody is the same and you might have got upset.
(
Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 29 Jun 2010, 13:04,
Reply)
My Big Breasts and Me
(
broadsword, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 13:05,
Reply)
I think they might notice at the audition that you're not qualified
(
Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 13:12,
Reply)
but he can go as one...
(
bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 13:19,
Reply)
:(((
(
broadsword, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 13:20,
Reply)
how many chins do you have?
(
Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 13:23,
Reply)
:((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((
(
broadsword, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 13:28,
Reply)
:(
stop bullying ♥
βΓΘãDςωδΓD ♥
:((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((
(
Lisette von Falcon, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 13:36,
Reply)
*fives*
(
broadsword, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 13:37,
Reply)
The one where they give me a billion dollars
the Congratulations Kristine, you've won a billion dollars show
(
Lisette von Falcon, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 13:05,
Reply)
get a sugar daddy
(
Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 13:08,
Reply)
this is a good idea, at least I'll get something out of it
(
Lisette von Falcon, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 13:11,
Reply)
I think there's a dating service for sugar daddies
and girls looking for them. I'll check.
Whaddya know, it's called
www.sugardaddies.com
(
Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 13:13,
Reply)
haha doubt I'll ever get a date from that
besides, ew
(
Lisette von Falcon, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 13:20,
Reply)
yeah
a girl at work said she joined it once and some guy offered to pay her a monthly amount on the condition that for one day of that month he would summon her and she would have to go.
(
Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 13:25,
Reply)
I would go
Well, maybe, how much did he pay?
(
Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 29 Jun 2010, 13:32,
Reply)
She didn't say
maybe that's why she said no, not enough!
(
Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 13:59,
Reply)
Maybe she only told you she said no
but she's actually doing it
(
Lisette von Falcon, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 14:14,
Reply)
just one?
is she hot?
(
Lisette von Falcon, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 13:33,
Reply)
she's pretty hot
and yeah, it was just one overnight stay on any given weekend. I asked her for his number.
(
Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 13:58,
Reply)
interesting
(
Lisette von Falcon, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 14:05,
Reply)
♥
Κɼȋʂțɩɲȅ! ♥
(
broadsword, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 13:11,
Reply)
♥
βΓΘãDςωδΓD ♥
(
Lisette von Falcon, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 13:12,
Reply)
my own cookery show
with the Rock.
Can you smell what the Rock is cooking?
(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 13:07,
Reply)
oh god I remember this
it made me laugh so much
(
Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 13:09,
Reply)
I just had cause to look on your profile
that picture is fucking awesome.
(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 13:13,
Reply)
Labs made it for me :D
(
Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 13:14,
Reply)
:)
(
Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 13:25,
Reply)
he's good like that
it doesn't have an explosion in the background though, does it?
(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 13:27,
Reply)
...
(
Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 13:29,
Reply)
;-)
(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 13:32,
Reply)
I read that as cockery show
(
Lisette von Falcon, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 13:13,
Reply)
Coming up after the break:
MORE COCKS
(
broadsword, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 13:13,
Reply)
I wanna be on Eastenders
As "Psychotic Axe Maniac".
(
Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 13:18,
Reply)
I want to be on Hollyoaks
as Miscellaneous Slag #6
(
Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 13:18,
Reply)
only number 6
surely they must be into triple figures by now
(
bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 13:20,
Reply)
nah they just spray tan the originals and keep reusing them.
(
Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 13:24,
Reply)
I heard that they get the top of an old one & the bottom of another & do a cut & shut
(
broadsword, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 13:36,
Reply)
A mate of mine did some work on Hollyoaks as an extra
She said that they're all cunts, and Mr Cunningham is a sleazy pervert.
(
Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 13:23,
Reply)
it's ok though because he's dead now.
(
Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 13:24,
Reply)
IRL or in Hollyoaks?
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Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 13:25,
Reply)
aren't they the same?
I thought it was a documentary.
(
Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 13:27,
Reply)
It is
(
Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 13:28,
Reply)
'Find Jeff an English bird'.
It's all about Jeff coming over here for some English nookie and meeting me and getting laid. A simple premise I know but I think it could be a big hit.
(
girlinthehole, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 13:26,
Reply)
I'd watch that
(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 13:28,
Reply)
You wouldn't see the actual nookie part.
That would be implied by my big grin the morning after.
(
girlinthehole, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 13:29,
Reply)
Hello lovely
Did you get my tit-grope?
(
Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 13:29,
Reply)
From whom?
(
girlinthehole, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 13:30,
Reply)
From me
I asked Crow to pass it on. Seems like you had a lovely time!
(
Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 13:34,
Reply)
Aw man! I would have loved a tit grope from Crow.
He's lovely.
(
girlinthehole, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 13:36,
Reply)
Apologies
I even had Lampito's text message as written proof that my groping your breasts would be a message from her, and not just me sexually harrassing you for my own benefit. I wasn't party to a great deal of groping so it must have slipped my mind.
(
LongJohnBaldry, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 13:41,
Reply)
Well it's your loss too sunshine : )
(
girlinthehole, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 13:43,
Reply)
Absolutely
I finally get to see that your well-reputed norks are deservedly well-reputed and I completely forget to validate this with a grope! Honestly, I'd forget my own cock if it wasn't strapped on...
(
LongJohnBaldry, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 14:05,
Reply)
I don't think his limp wrists would be able to support your awesome boobs.
They'd collapse and splinter from the sheer fantasticness of them.
(
Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 13:41,
Reply)
^This.
(
girlinthehole, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 13:43,
Reply)
and cutting to the moon the night before
(
Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 13:31,
Reply)
Is that a visual metaphor for nookie?
I prefer the "train rushing into the tunnel" one myself
(
Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 13:35,
Reply)
on classy films they always pan the camera away from the bed and to the window, where the moon is usually shining
(
Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 14:00,
Reply)
I'm too busy seeing if the moon is upside down to notice the significance.
(
Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 14:05,
Reply)
that wasn't the (main) reason for saying I'd watch it
:-P
(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 13:32,
Reply)
lies
ON THE INTERNET
(
bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 13:34,
Reply)
Not "Find Jeff an English Blouse"?
(
TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 13:29,
Reply)
That would narrow his search down somewhat.
(
girlinthehole, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 13:32,
Reply)
Some of my friends are on Eggheads, to be shown in the new year
I'd like to be on University Challenge, but I don't think I'm clever enough :( I know useless shit, but probably not the right sort of useless shit.
On the plus side, I'm still milky white, but my bag has given me horrible bruises :(
(
Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 13:29,
Reply)
that's what happens to me
+ freckles.
(
Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 13:32,
Reply)
I got horrible skin irritation/heat rash
lots of horrible red bumps. They've gone now I'm in England, for the most part.
(
Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 13:35,
Reply)
Maybe we could persuade the BBC that there is a University of B3ta.
I'm sure we could put up a team that would thrash a bunch of oiks.
(
Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 13:34,
Reply)
Enzyme and 3 fillers
(
Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 13:34,
Reply)
I think he WAS on University Challenge, once...
(
Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 13:36,
Reply)
Twice I thought?
(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 14:19,
Reply)
yeah
but what about the quiz?
(
bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 13:35,
Reply)
It would be like Scumbag college versus Footlights college Oxbridge.
(
Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 13:36,
Reply)
RA RA RA We're going to smash the oiks!
(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 13:40,
Reply)
Ra ra ah-ah-ah...
(
Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 13:40,
Reply)
roma romama
(
Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 14:01,
Reply)
I fucking love that song.
(
Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 14:04,
Reply)
the video is actually pretty cool
(
Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 15:00,
Reply)
Enzyme has the brain the size of a planet
Can't spell his own name though...
I'd be better on Mastermind - Specialist subject BOOBS
(
TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 13:36,
Reply)
I was thinking about what my specialist subject would be.
I was reading Molesworth on the train, I might do that. I even know Molesworth 2's name.
(
Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 13:42,
Reply)
Mine would be Supernatural.
Or Southern Comfort.
(
Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 13:45,
Reply)
And a subsection of "Being Fucking Hot"
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Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 13:47,
Reply)
The Pandatron stirs....
;)
(
Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 13:47,
Reply)
Psh.
I'm allowed to pander to Applebite. Somehow.
(
Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 13:50,
Reply)
Lampito can pander to me as much as she likes.
She's so lovely that I revel in it.
(
Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 13:51,
Reply)
I LIKE THIS
(
Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 14:01,
Reply)
I LIKE THAT YOU LIKE THIS.
I ALSO LIKE YOU
(
Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 14:03,
Reply)
I LIKE THAT YOU LIKE THAT I LIKE THIS.
I LIKE YOU TOO, AND I LIKE IT THAT YOU LIKE ME.
We need to hit Font and Fifth at some point like a motherbitch.
(
Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 14:05,
Reply)
I LIKE EVERYTHING.
Yes we fucking do. I go on holiday on thursday and get back on the 7th, so after then. I went out in chester last night, and it was shit and the talent was shit and I paid £5.50 for an amaretto sour. :( I MISS MANCHESTER.
(
Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 14:18,
Reply)
I'm back in Manchester for either a LIMITED TIME ONLY or a while.
I'll let you know which though ;)
(
Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 14:21,
Reply)
Awesome :)
I'll look forward to it.
Right, I have to go and do my sister up for her prom. ttfn.
(
Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 14:27,
Reply)
Can I come?
To Font, not prom
(
Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 15:00,
Reply)
Yes!
I LIKE THIS IDEA
You could probably go to prom if you wanted,but i wouldn't bother cos they're only 16 so there'll be no booze and she's the only cool one.
(
Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 15:56,
Reply)
But do you know what county it's in?
(
TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 13:45,
Reply)
I didn't know Molesworth was a real place!
That excites me a little. Almost as much as the fact Adrian Mole was almost called Adrian Molesworth.
(
Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 13:46,
Reply)
I <3 Adrian Mole
(
Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 13:49,
Reply)
That looks like "I fart Adrian Mole"
(
Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 13:52,
Reply)
It does
But I don't
(
Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 13:53,
Reply)
There's an RAF base and everything!
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TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 13:51,
Reply)
15-1!!!
or Win, lose or draw... again!
(
Halfy By light alone, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 13:36,
Reply)
The Really Wild Show so I could go and look at Puffins on a cliffside with Chris Packham,
only when we get there I reveal that I have a bomb strapped to me and scream "we live in peace together forever Chris", grab him and fling us off the cliff, detonating the bomb on the way down so we appear as a great bloody firework staining the sky.
(
Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 13:56,
Reply)
O_O
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 13:58,
Reply)
someone would need to comfort Michaela Strachan
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 13:59,
Reply)
I'd comfort her
right in the arse
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 14:01,
Reply)
how very dare you?!
Michaela is a saint!
(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 14:05,
Reply)
On a completely unrelated note
why are people on FML so mean? I don't understand why people click 'you totally deserved it' on so many posts where it was something awful happening to them like their wife leaving.
Maybe I take FML too seriously.
(
Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 14:09,
Reply)
I had to block it from myself
because I got so angry at the fucking retards who reply to the posts.
(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 14:10,
Reply)
Haha glad it's not just me
I saw one once where a woman had written that her 3 year old child had cut up her wedding dress two days before the wedding and in the comments there were people telling her she would go to hell for being a slag and having a child out of wedlock.
(
Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 14:14,
Reply)
Mary had a child out of wedlock!
(
Lisette von Falcon, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 14:15,
Reply)
which Mary?
virgin?
(
Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 14:19,
Reply)
some mary I reckon
(
Lisette von Falcon, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 14:19,
Reply)
By someone who wasn't her husband-to-be!!!
(
Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 14:19,
Reply)
THIS
(
Lisette von Falcon, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 14:19,
Reply)
Basically Christianity is based on one woman's excuse for being up the duff
which went way too far
(
Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 14:21,
Reply)
ignoring the whole "old testament" bit
because that it just inconvenient
(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 14:22,
Reply)
I never figured you for a churchy
(
Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 14:23,
Reply)
know your enemy
(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 14:26,
Reply)
You're an ANTIPALADIN
A crusader against god
(
Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 14:26,
Reply)
thanks for sharing your intellectual point of view on the birth of our Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ
(
Lisette von Falcon, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 14:40,
Reply)
that fucking slag
(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 14:20,
Reply)
uh, hello
omgbullyingonline
(
Lisette von Falcon, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 14:13,
Reply)
surely just clicking
'you totally deserved it' isn't really bullying.
(
Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 14:15,
Reply)
it makes them feel better about themselves, like they're putting someone else down
Don't argue with me, woman.
(
Lisette von Falcon, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 14:15,
Reply)
sorry
please don't hurt me
(
Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 14:16,
Reply)
I can't believe you would think I'd hurt you
:((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((
(
Lisette von Falcon, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 14:19,
Reply)
I frighten easily
like a tiny deer.
(
Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 14:20,
Reply)
I saw a deer last night, it was about 6ft away, my dog went nuts barking and it just stood there looking at us
(
Lisette von Falcon, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 14:25,
Reply)
that is one hard deer.
(
Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 15:01,
Reply)
Eh, they're all trolls.
I don't bother to read the comments because they tend to be at YouTube-levels of retardation.
(
Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 14:15,
Reply)
ridiculously the things that wound me up most
were the way americans use the word liberal, and the stupid tipping system
(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 14:18,
Reply)
I read it on my phone
So only see the entries and a couple of comments.
(
Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 14:20,
Reply)
haha
"I got really angry at a website and can't go on it anymore. FML"
(
Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 14:20,
Reply)
pretty much
it's mildly embarrassing, but was during a period when I was so bored at work.
I went to the trouble of downloading a website blocker for firefox, and entering a completely random password so I can't even unblock it.
(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 14:21,
Reply)
It does seem to have replaced "commie" in modern yank parlance
as equating to something EVIL and SINISTER.
(
LongJohnBaldry, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 14:22,
Reply)
which is completely absurd
particularly because the people they mean when they spit the word "liberal" are the ones that are generally like normal people in that they don't like war or destroying the environment
(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 14:23,
Reply)
Exactly
For a nation that spends so much time banging about "Freedom" and all this horse-shit about "The Land of the Free," they really do object to a word which, loosely speaking*, can mean "FREE." It really does drive me to facepalm.
*
Or even, "liberally interpreted," - see what I did there?
(
LongJohnBaldry, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 14:26,
Reply)
oh the irony
the gimp I have chained in my attic has more freedom!
(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 14:27,
Reply)
I thought Chompy went to Glasto?
(
Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 14:41,
Reply)
give me some credit
the gimp is masked but still attractive underneath
and if all you can see of someone is their eyes then you don't want the cold dead eyes of a rapist staring back at you
(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 14:43,
Reply)
Everyone on my bank of desks wants to know what I'm laughing at
Damn you, Vipros!
(
Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 14:50,
Reply)
Like in
This picture?
(
Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 14:51,
Reply)
like that but with more gimp mask
(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 14:56,
Reply)
Rapey would probably make a mask from the faces of his victims
(
Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 14:57,
Reply)
More than anything else
More than the continued popularity of R'n'B, more than religious fundamentalism, more than Michael McIntyre's face, YouTube comments are what worry me about the future of humanity
(
Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 14:20,
Reply)
facebook statuses and comments worry me
this is what someone wrote on my friend's (I use the term very loosely, I don't know this woman) wall:
"saz tht nobhead graeme wont remove pics ov me n bradley frm his profile wen i dnt wana even knw hm n hes newt tew do wi me n bradley....help plz xx hw do i gt em off?? xxx"
WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN?!
(
Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 14:23,
Reply)
I could translate literally
but what it means essentially is "I am a stupid cunt"
(
Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 14:24,
Reply)
I understand the theory behind text speak
because you're limited in space. However, I can't stand people who use it when typing and they have all the characters in the world. Further, why
lengthen words ffs?! What the hell is tew?! Also, ov?! OV?! FUCKING OV?! *embolises*
(
Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 14:25,
Reply)
My mum used to send me one-word text responses
As she thought she got charged by the letter.
(
Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 14:27,
Reply)
hahaha
I tried to explain text speak to my mum because she used to send me 3 page long messages. She didn't quite understand it and now abbreviates words in odd ways. C and U are always capitalised. The word something is spelled s'thng. Cambridge is C'bdge. Etc. It takes me a while to decipher them.
(
Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 14:31,
Reply)
Christ, you should read my housemate's emails
It's not that he abbreviates in strange ways or anything, he just types like a spasticated child in boxing gloves and doesn't bother to go back to check spelling or punctuation. If I have to forward them to people it's usually with the header "Translations available free of charge on request."
(
LongJohnBaldry, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 14:40,
Reply)
It is one of my greatest pet hates
I can't stand text speak even to save space - just send two texts, most people have more free than they can use anyway - but with email etc it's completely unacceptable. If anyone came on here and used text speak I'd, I'd, well, I can't think of anything remotely threatening, but, ooh, they wouldn't enjoy it, whatever it was
(
Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 14:31,
Reply)
I'd make full use of the wide and varied facilities that the internet provides
To SLANDER THEIR REPUTATION.
(
LongJohnBaldry, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 14:44,
Reply)
Vicious
Remind me never to provoke you into a battle of wits. Or a barfight. I bet you go right for the knackers
(
Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 14:54,
Reply)
took 3 reads to decipher it
"Dear Saz,
the bounder Graeme will not remove photographs of Bradley and me from his profile. I have no desire to know the aforementioned Graeme; he has nothing to with Bradley and me. I would appreciate your assistance in removing said photographs."
(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 14:25,
Reply)
Bradley and me. On both counts.
you're no better than she!
*flounces*
(
Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 14:28,
Reply)
what's wrong with Bradley and I?
edit: thinking further on it, you are right. "I" am not the subject
(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 14:29,
Reply)
You're both complete arses
(
LongJohnBaldry, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 14:31,
Reply)
hahaha
(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 14:32,
Reply)
Oi!
Less of that
(
Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 14:32,
Reply)
I was referring to Bradley and Vipros
Edit: Mainly Vipros
(
LongJohnBaldry, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 14:33,
Reply)
oh right
in that case, carry on.
(
Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 14:36,
Reply)
because if you remove the word 'Bradley' from the sentence it doesn't make sense
you wouldn't say "photos of I".
(
Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 14:32,
Reply)
you are right
it was a temporary aberration for which I apologise profusely
(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 14:35,
Reply)
It's "and I" if you would normally say "I" if it was just you
In this instance if Bradley were not involved it would be "me" so it should be "Bradley and me"
EDIT: Damn your grammatical speed O'Hara!
(
Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 14:32,
Reply)
ha grammar double teaming
(
Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 14:32,
Reply)
Oh, the mental images
(
Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 14:33,
Reply)
hot
(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 14:35,
Reply)
You're the one getting double teamed mate
(
Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 14:36,
Reply)
that's what I mean
(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 14:38,
Reply)
So the idea of getting double teamed by me - ME - and Kitty, whilst we correct your grammar mistakes, turns you on?
(
Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 14:40,
Reply)
I'm hot enough to make up for your presence
(
Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 14:42,
Reply)
this is true
(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 14:42,
Reply)
Kitty O'Hara
"Hot enough to eclipse even the biggest bumder"...?
(
LongJohnBaldry, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 14:45,
Reply)
Aye
I deflect his gayness, like a forcefield.
(
Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 14:48,
Reply)
it's an impressive talent
(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 14:48,
Reply)
I've told you not to share your pet name for my cock
(
Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 14:49,
Reply)
that doesn't make any sense
(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 14:50,
Reply)
It did in my head
and now I regret it
(
Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 14:53,
Reply)
So all that you see is a corona of GAY around the outside of Kitty's eclipsing aura as she double-teams you and your grammar?
(
LongJohnBaldry, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 14:49,
Reply)
a very thin corona
almost imperceptible. You can appreciate how impressive that is given the overwhelming radiance that is Darth's homosexuality.
(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 14:51,
Reply)
I can't believe you haven't changed your sig yet
Or tried to bottle it and sell it.
(
Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 14:48,
Reply)
done.
(
Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 15:21,
Reply)
I Am Weasel.
(
Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 14:33,
Reply)
U R baboon
(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 14:44,
Reply)
You don't need pants for the victory dance
coz Baboon's better than Weasel.
(
Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 14:48,
Reply)
I'd forgotten all about I Am Weasel
was it tagged on to some other cartoon?
(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 14:49,
Reply)
Cat-Dog?
(
Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 14:50,
Reply)
I saw it on Cartoon Network
It was at the same time as Johnny Bravo, Dexter's Lab, the Powerpuff Girls and Cow & Chicken.
My favourite episode is when I R Baboon erases the law of gravity so gravity disappears. Then when a fridge is floating over I M Weasel he writes it back in again.
(
Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 14:52,
Reply)
Dexter's Lab was ace
I recall a great one where he kept putting off learning french for an exam, and ended up using a sleep-learning device with a record on it. The record unfortunately kept skipping when it got to "omelette du fromage" so that became all he could say.
this lead to him passing the exam, and various other things like becoming a massive hero in france, but when he gets back to his lab he can't say the password so it self-destructs.
(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 14:56,
Reply)
haha that's win
I love Dexter. Will said I remind him of DeeDee though because I skip along through the house making a mess and causing destruction. Hmph.
(
Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 14:57,
Reply)
I can imagine that
you look kind of like her
(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 15:00,
Reply)
damn you!
(
Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 15:21,
Reply)
It means you need to defriend them
(
Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 14:25,
Reply)
In fact
You should probably defriend anyone with the name "Bradley."
(
LongJohnBaldry, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 14:26,
Reply)
one person redeems the name
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bradley_Nowellawesome band. shame he died of an overdose. the muppet.
(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 14:29,
Reply)
When I put my pole classes up a load of girls friended me to ask about the classes
and I didn't want to be all snooty so I added them back. I am filled with regret. And pickles.
(
Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 14:29,
Reply)
Pickles the drummer from Dethklok?
(
Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 14:32,
Reply)
no, Sainsbury's basic pickle
close though.
(
Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 14:33,
Reply)
The Weakest Link
although this is hardly news
Then Total Wipeout. Winning both of those should be enough for me to establish myself as a D-list celebrity in today's culture. Then I wheel out the arm candy and wait for the daytime TV presenting offers to roll in. I'll be on This Morning in five years. That's the plan. Which I've just made up
(
Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 14:18,
Reply)
oh yeah what happened with that?
did you win?
(
Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 14:21,
Reply)
Oh I haven't even been called up yet
I'm on THE LIST, which means I have to wait for them to fit me into a show. Every one of the contestants on each show has to be from a different area of the country, with a different job and different interests. Am confident that I'm "special" enough not to have to wait long. Thank you for asking :-)
(
Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 14:22,
Reply)
sorry
I failed at being a caring friend. I cared enough to remember roughly what it was, but not enough to listen in the first place as to when it was.
(
Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 14:24,
Reply)
To be fair
you remembered at all, honey. Points
(
Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 14:27,
Reply)
Yay!
I hope there's a big white board in your office with b3tan names and gold stars on it.
(
Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 14:34,
Reply)
Why, yes, yes there is
If by "board" you mean "sacrificial altar" and by "gold stars" you mean "chances of avoiding bloodletting based on niceness".
It is in my office though
(
Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 14:37,
Reply)
Does niceness increase or decrease the chances of bloodletting?
(
Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 14:42,
Reply)
Decrease
Amberl is currently the person least likely to be thrown into a volcano if the harvest fails.
Chompy is still the runaway leader
(
Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 14:45,
Reply)
at least he finally excels at something
(
Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 14:46,
Reply)
Everyone's got their special skills
You have poledancing and corsetry, I have dancing and Chompy has... (left blank for your own suggestion)
(
Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 14:48,
Reply)
So he should be
the fat cunt
(
Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 14:48,
Reply)
well
you're certainly special...
(
bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 14:37,
Reply)
Aw, shucks
*blushes*
(
Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 14:38,
Reply)
Why don't you just go on it yourself?
(
PsychoChomp, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 14:26,
Reply)
Hello, gorgeous.
(
Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 14:32,
Reply)
*gets camera*
(
Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 14:33,
Reply)
I can't cook
I'm shit at it. Utter shit. And I wouldn't know what to make.
Ooh, I could just have my laptop in the kitchen and have you all help me.
If you guys can come up with an infallible menu I'll do it.
(
Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 14:35,
Reply)
You.
(
Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 14:30,
Reply)
I'm not a show
I think you should be on Zoo Days.
(
Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 14:35,
Reply)
What's that? Some Animal programme?
(
Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 14:36,
Reply)
The clue is in the title.
(
girlinthehole, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 14:38,
Reply)
Zoo is also a men's magazine
I'm trying to establish whether she is accusing me of being a perv, or associating me with our simian cousins.
Although, both would be accurate descriptions
(
Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 14:40,
Reply)
It's about fluffy zoo animals
it's great.
I'd like to be on Bondi Vet.
(
Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 14:43,
Reply)
What would you do?
Play with the Servals? Clean out the Alpacas?
(
Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 14:45,
Reply)
Perv on Bondi Vet
He looks like Johnny Bravo. Plus once I was over there I'd just quit and go and lie on a beach.
(
Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 14:46,
Reply)
I just googled it
Cor blimey, WOULD
(
Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 14:47,
Reply)
see, I know my hot stuff.
(
Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 14:53,
Reply)

...
AND SHE KNOWS HER HOT STUFF
(
Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 14:55,
Reply)
thanks
I'll take that barbed compliment and put it with the rest.
(
Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 15:22,
Reply)
Yup, defiantly not creepy in the slightest what so ever !
(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 14:43,
Reply)
I'd like to be inside you as well
I'd like to think there's a little bit of me in all of you
(
Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 14:44,
Reply)
aww I love you Gonz
in your haphazard spelling you have inadvertently correctly spelled a whole other word. This makes me happy.
(
Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 14:45,
Reply)
LETS ELOPE !
(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 15:04,
Reply)
ooh can we?
where do you want to go? I want to go somewhere with pineapples.
(
Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 15:22,
Reply)
Have you ever been to East Barnet?
(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 15:42,
Reply)
I'd like to do a show with Charlie Brooker
being nasty about stuff. He may be a slight helmet (as indeed may I - or worse) but I would greatly enjoy the spiteful mockery.
Possible title: 'It's Fucking Shit'
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 15:34,
Reply)
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